Chapter 29: Waiting for You

After that night, Weiwei and I regarded Zhou Guo as our own personal heroine. Every so often, we pestered her to teach us a few self-defence moves.
On the morning of the sixteenth day of the twelfth lunar month, I went to visit my sister.
A horn sounded behind me.
Turning, I saw a black Porsche. Ji Feiyang’s car—I recognised it immediately.
When had he come back? How had I not known?
“Get in.”
Seeing him suddenly made me feel awkward. Perhaps it was because we hadn’t seen each other for so long. Perhaps it was because of what I’d said to him.
Once inside, I kept my eyes on my hands.
“When did you get back?”
“Last night.”
“Oh… When are you leaving?”
“Tonight.”
So soon again?
“Will you be this busy until New Year?”
“Until after New Year.”
A line of poetry came to me: She married a merchant as she grew older; he cared more for profit than the pain of parting.
Outside the window, everything looked bleak and cold. As though the lonely singer from the poem had possessed me, I was suddenly filled with melancholy.
A sigh escaped.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I came back to myself.
“You seem distracted. Are you ill?”
“You’re the one who’s ill. I’m perfectly healthy.”
Ji Feiyang glanced at me, then chuckled.
“What are you laughing at?” I demanded.
“You’re so young, yet you look like an abandoned wife.”
I thumped his arm.
“How dare you laugh at me?”
“Hey. I’m driving.”
“Then we can die together,” I retorted, though I stopped hitting him.
At the hospital, I caught his arm.
“Please talk to Big Brother. Ask him to let me see my sister.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Aren’t you his friend? You could tell him—”
“Don’t ask me to put him in a difficult position.”
He walked on.
“How would that put him in a difficult position?”
I hurried after him, muttering, “You’re so annoying.”
As usual, I left my flowers outside the door. Every visit, I brought a bunch of white lilies, then stood facing the closed door, silently reflecting on what I’d done.
“Five minutes,” Ji Feiyang reminded me.
I didn’t move.
“Stay a little longer, then. Meet me in the car park in half an hour.”
“Where are you going?”
“To see Mrs. Huang. The one you know.”
Only then did I notice he was still carrying a fruit basket. I’d assumed it was for my sister.
“What happened to her? Did she faint again?”
I followed him.
Mrs. Huang looked surprised to see me.
In her eyes, how could a pampered young woman with a temper like mine know anything about caring for other people?
Then she saw Ji Feiyang, and her surprise faded.
“Sir, you shouldn’t have. You’re so busy, and you’ve come all this way yourself.”
She sounded deeply touched.
“I had something to do here, so I thought I’d stop by.”
He set the fruit on the table.
“You really shouldn’t have. Someone from the hotel has already visited, and now you’ve come too…”
“There’s something I wanted to discuss with you.”
Her expression changed, as though she already knew what was coming.
“You were working at the hotel while my father was still alive. We’re very grateful for all the hard work you’ve put in over the years.”
Mrs. Huang became agitated.
“Please don’t dismiss me. I’m… I’m perfectly healthy. Look…”
She scrambled out of bed, determined to prove it.
“Mrs. Huang, you should lie down.”
I hurried to help her back.
Her eyes stayed fixed on Ji Feiyang.
“Don’t worry. We’re not dismissing you.”
At last, she relaxed.
“We’ve arranged for someone else to cover your work. Take some time to rest. Come back when you’re well.”
“But I can’t rest. If I stop working, I won’t have any income.”
“Your health comes first. Rest properly, and don’t worry about the money.”
Later, I asked Ji Feiyang why she was still worrying about earning money when she was ill.
Surely her health mattered more? How could she work if her body gave out?
Why didn’t she understand something so obvious?
“Some things,” he said, “you only understand when you’ve lived through them yourself.”

On Lunar New Year’s Eve, Dad said he would send Uncle Qing to collect me in the afternoon.
The city grew quiet over New Year, almost like an empty town. So many people had returned to their hometowns. Shops along the streets were closed, and even the big shopping centres felt deserted.
Weiwei had gone home a few days earlier.
Zhou Guo stayed. She said she didn’t miss home and would rather earn some extra money working overtime.
I had both New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day off.
Hearing that Ji Feiyang would be back that day, I waited from morning until afternoon.
He didn’t appear.
It had been three whole weeks since I’d seen him. All I wanted was to see him before going home and wish him a happy New Year.
At half past three, Uncle Qing arrived promptly.
Reluctantly, I got into the car.
As we drove out of the hotel, I kept looking back. Perhaps Ji Feiyang would arrive at that very moment.
Only when we were well away did I turn around.
Red lanterns hung at home, and Spring Festival couplets decorated the doors. Everywhere was bright with festive colour.
Mrs. Zhuang and Auntie Lan took my hands and greeted me with such warmth that my eyes filled with tears.
But although the house looked festive, the people in it seemed desolate.
Mrs. Zhuang told me Big Brother would spend New Year at the hospital with my sister.
This year, only I would be having New Year’s Eve dinner with Mum and Dad.
Guilt weighed on me.
It was all because of me.
Dinner was as lavish as ever, but I had no appetite.
Every movement felt cautious. I was afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting my parents again.
Before I’d even eaten enough, I escaped to my room.
Guilt seemed to cling to my whole body. At the table, the empty chairs had made it worse.
Mum and Dad had kept putting food on my plate. They were so good to me, and I could barely face them.
Before Mum married Dad, after her divorce, she and my sister had only had each other. The hardships they’d shared had made their bond especially strong.
Apparently, before I was born, my sister had been the most cherished child in the family.
It was past seven.
Ji Feiyang must be back by now.
I lied, saying I’d left my phone at the hotel and needed to fetch it. Uncle Qing drove me there.
I felt too embarrassed to go straight into Ji Feiyang’s house. Perhaps he was with Yan Rong.
After standing outside for a while, I decided to call.
“Hello, Ji Feiyang.”
“Mm?”
His reply was quiet.
Just hearing his voice made me happy. I forgot to wonder whether he was pleased to hear from me—or whether I was disturbing him.
“Are you back?”
“Yes.”
“Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year.”
His warm laughter came through the phone.
Upstairs, light shone through pale-green windowpanes.
Which window was his?
“Anything else?”
I thought for a moment.
“It isn’t cold at all this New Year’s Eve.”
“It’s fairly mild.”
Tilting my head towards the dark sky, I said, “There aren’t any stars tonight. No moon either.”
“Are you by a window?”
Fireworks sounded in the distance, but I couldn’t see them. The tall buildings blocked the view.
“Someone’s setting off fireworks.”
“Mm.”
“But I can’t see them.”
“There isn’t much to see. If you want to watch, you could go to Beishan Park. You might be able to see them from upstairs at home too.”
“But I can’t go and watch them now.”
“Then tomorrow. There’ll be fireworks every day over the holiday.”
Two fire engines passed along the road.
“Can you hear the fire engines?”
“Yes…”
Something seemed to occur to him.
“Wait a moment.”
A window on the right side of the third floor opened.
He leaned out.
There was the face I’d missed so much.
Excitedly, I waved.
“You didn’t go home?”
He looked startled.
“I did. Then I came back. I forgot my phone.”
A drop of water fell into my eye.
Was it raining?
I held out my hand.
“I think it’s starting to rain.”
Ji Feiyang reached out of the window too.
“It is.”
He closed the window and ended the call.
A little later, he appeared in front of me.
Embarrassment vanished. Everything else vanished too.
I ran straight into his arms.
The sudden embrace startled him. At first, he stood stiffly. Then his arms slowly tightened around me.
I was so happy, so overwhelmed, that tears blurred my eyes.
He seemed a little embarrassed. We were outside his house, beside the road, after all.
After holding me for a moment, he drew me away.
“You really are a child. Always crying.”
“Shall we go to the park and watch the fireworks?”
“We can’t.”
He looked uncomfortable.
“Then… from upstairs at your house?”
“You should go home.”