Chapter 18: A Moment of Recklessness

“Oh, doughnuts! They’re my favourite.” Jiajia speared one with her fork and took a delighted bite. “Mmm. This is so good.”
“Have some more, then.” Xiao He’s eyes lit up, pleased that he’d ordered the right thing. Little did he know that Jiajia liked anything sweet.
“How did you know I liked doughnuts?”
“They’re cute… just like you. I thought you’d like them, and I was right.”
“What a good guess. We really do think alike.” Jiajia covered her mouth and giggled.
A moment ago, neither of them had been able to look up without blushing. Now they were chatting away on their own. Clearly, all my worrying had been unnecessary.
My gaze flicked towards Jiajia. The doughnut looked like her? Surely it was the other way round—round and plump.
“I recognise you, Sis!” Xiao He suddenly said, looking excited.
Sis? Well, he was a year younger than me, but hearing a grown boy call me that still felt strange.
“You were amazing that day. That slap—you were so cool!” His admiration was unmistakable.
“Yijun’s been a heroine since she was little. Always ready to step in and fight injustice.” Brandishing her knife and fork like swords, Jiajia struck a warrior’s pose.
“Wait! Hold that!”
Xiao He hurriedly picked up his phone. Jiajia froze with her cutlery raised while he snapped a picture.
“That looks brilliant.” He gave her a thumbs-up. “A true warrior heroine.”
“Really? Let me see!”
She rushed over to inspect the photograph.
“I’ll take a few more.”
One pose followed another. You’d have thought she was having a professional photo shoot.
“Yijun, let’s take one together.”
She pulled me into the frame, wrapped both arms around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder, smiling prettily.
“Look at the camera!”
They were enjoying themselves so much that I had no choice but to smile along.
With every photograph, Jiajia grew more enthusiastic. Soon our seating area wasn’t enough for her. She leaned against a wall to look cute, then draped herself against a sofa to look alluring. Taking pictures occupied practically her entire afternoon.
Left alone, I drank my tea and ate pastries to relieve the boredom. Then, on looking up, my eyes met my sister’s.
She was heading towards the exit with two men and a woman who looked like a secretary.
My stomach tightened. Of all the people to run into.
Oh, well. She’d seen me now. What could she do about it?
I went back to my tea and sweets.
The whole table was mine by then. Jiajia had wandered off to find somewhere else to pose.
A little later, my sister returned alone.
“So this is why you wanted the afternoon off? To sit here drinking tea and eating pastries?”
“What a fuss over nothing. What’s wrong with having some tea and a few pastries? It’s hardly murder or arson,” I snapped.
She chose not to argue.
“The working day’s over. Shall we go home together?”
“No!”
“Tang Yijun.” Her voice sharpened.
“I’m leaving with Jiajia.”
“And when I get home without you, what am I supposed to tell Mum? That you spent the afternoon working here?”
After glaring at her and stamping my foot, I stalked past her.
“Hey—Yijun!”
Jiajia called after me, but the sight of my sister stopped her from saying anything more.
Once we were on the road, I asked, “When are you and Big Brother getting married?”
“Soon, probably.” She glanced at me. “I know how much you love Boshan. You’re upset about the wedding because it feels as though I’m taking him away from you. But I’m not. He loves you just as much as he always has.”
“More than he loves you?”
“It’s a different kind of love.”
“I know. You love each other as a man and a woman, and I…”
The thought that Big Brother didn’t love me that way hurt all over again.
Beside me sat Tong Xueyou. Why had I even agreed to get into the same car as her? I couldn’t stand her. I didn’t want to sit beside her. I didn’t want to see her at all.
“Stop the car!” I demanded.
The car kept moving.
In a sudden rush of agitation, I grabbed the steering wheel.
“Yijun!”
Tong Xueyou cried out, but all my attention was on finding the brake pedal. A scream sounded beside me. The world spun, and then everything went blank.

When consciousness slowly returned, I was lying in a bed—a hospital bed.
Mrs. Zhuang was the only person there, asleep with her head resting beside me.
What had happened? How had I ended up here?
The last thing I remembered was being in the car with Tong Xueyou. She’d screamed. Why had she screamed?
My gaze travelled from the white ceiling around the room. The air smelled of antiseptic.
We’d had a car accident.
Where was Tong Xueyou? How was she? Had she been hurt too?
And where were Mum, Dad and Big Brother?
“Mrs. Zhuang… Mrs. Zhuang…”
With a painfully dry throat, I called her name and nudged her awake.
“Yijun, you’re awake.” Relief and sadness mingled in her expression.
“I want some water.”
She got up to pour me a glass. When I tried to sit up, pain shot through my left foot, and she helped me into position.
A few sips eased my throat.
“What’s wrong with my foot? Is it injured?”
Mrs. Zhuang nodded.
“Is it serious?”
Inside, I was terrified. Somehow, my voice remained steady.
“Not too serious,” she reassured me. “Just a minor fracture.”
Mrs. Zhuang had been hired as my nanny when I was little. A little older than Auntie Lan, she had a kind face and a forgiving nature. Even after I’d grown up, she’d stayed with us, helping Auntie Lan look after the house.
“Where are Mum and Dad? And Big Brother?”
Her expression grew sorrowful. For a long moment, her mouth remained open, but no words came.
“What about my sister?”
She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
“Everyone’s all right. Don’t worry.”
A dreadful feeling rose inside me.
There were more questions I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t bear the thought of hearing bad news. Fear left me restless and confused. Much as I hated Tong Xueyou, she was still my sister.
Mrs. Zhuang tucked the covers around me.
“Try to sleep a little longer. It’s only just after five. It isn’t light yet.”
Without a word, I closed my eyes.
Sleep wouldn’t come.
Where was Mum? If she wasn’t here with me, she had to be with my sister. Was Xueyou more badly hurt? Where had she been injured? How serious was it?
My thoughts went round and round.
Perhaps I was worrying too much. Xueyou was Mum’s daughter too. Of course Mum would be concerned about her.
And Big Brother loved my sister more. Naturally, he would be at her bedside.
Dad was getting older. Mum must have told him to stay home and rest.
Mrs. Zhuang had said everyone was all right, so my sister had to be all right too. Perhaps her injuries were even less serious than mine.
But that didn’t make sense. If she was fine, why wouldn’t Mrs. Zhuang simply tell me how she was?
The door opened, and Mrs. Zhuang went out.
I wanted to follow her and see what was happening, but moving my foot hurt too much.
She returned shortly afterwards and gently closed the door. Thinking I was asleep, she settled back in her chair and shut her eyes.
Outside the window, everything was still black.
Lying quietly, I suddenly thought of Ji Feiyang. He’d stayed with me when I’d burned my hands, just as Mrs. Zhuang was staying with me now.
He could be quite kind.
Sometimes.
And his eyes were beautiful, with those well-defined creases in his eyelids.
After letting my thoughts wander for a while, I turned towards the window again. There was a faint patch of colour beyond the glass now, though I couldn’t make out what it was.
A little later, I realised it was the building opposite.
My eyes stayed on the window as its outline gradually sharpened and the sky slowly grew light.
Mum and Dad came to see me after seven. They asked what had happened.
“I only wanted her to stop the car,” I stammered. “I didn’t know this would happen. I didn’t mean to…”
Later, a doctor came by. My foot wasn’t badly injured, he said. I wouldn’t be left with a limp, though I might need crutches for a while.
The news brought little visible relief to either of my parents. They told me to rest, asked Mrs. Zhuang to take good care of me and left.
Neither of them mentioned my sister.
Neither did I.
Big Brother still hadn’t come.
Something had to be wrong.