Chapter 20: Learning to Change

Mum and Dad’s attitude towards me changed completely. Big Brother never came to visit, not even once. Whenever I tried to see my sister, her door remained closed.
Perhaps he would never forgive me.
A few days later, I was discharged from hospital. Back home, the familiar laughter had vanished. The silence was suffocating.
Mum stayed at the hospital with my sister. On her occasional visits home, she barely spoke to me. When I tried to coax some affection out of her, she would say she was tired and ask me to leave her alone.
Dad and Big Brother went to work as usual. With my sister away, Dad was busier than ever. Big Brother went straight to the hospital after work and didn’t come home until late at night.
“Yijun, you’ve hurt us deeply,” Dad told me. “You need to think seriously about what you’ve done.”
Home no longer felt like a refuge. Everything was cold, and nobody spoiled me anymore.
I knew I’d been wrong. Shutting myself in my room, I hid from the coldness in their eyes.
Once my foot had fully healed, I went to see Ji Feiyang.
“How do I change?” I asked him.
“First—and most importantly—you need to get that temper under control. Second…” He pointed at my pink dress. “You’re always wearing things like this. It makes you look like a little girl who expects to be pampered.”
I’d worn dresses since childhood. Every outfit had been fit for a little princess.
“And go back to work. Take it seriously.”
None of that sounded particularly difficult.
“What does any of this have to do with my sister? Will doing those things make me clever and capable?”
“You have to grow up first. Learn to be responsible.”
That seemed reasonable enough.
“So what should I do now?”
He looked as though he wanted to bang his head against a wall.
“Didn’t I just tell you? Do you need me to write you a script, telling you what to do today and what to do tomorrow?”
After that, I didn’t dare ask again.
Instead, I ventured, “Could I work here?”
His eyes widened in surprise.
“I could be your secretary.”
“No, thank you. I already have one.”
“Then what other work could I do? I’m not doing manual work again.”
“Why do you want to work here?”
“Because… because…”
Just thinking about it hurt. My eyes reddened, and I sniffed.
“I’m afraid of being at home. I don’t think they want to see me either.”
The sight of me on the verge of tears softened him.
“All right.”
He sighed, accepting the nuisance that was me.
“But let’s make one thing clear. If you want to work at Qinglang Hotel, you’ll have to follow my instructions. Can you do that?”
“You won’t deliberately make things difficult for me, will you?”
“Do I look like that sort of person?” he asked dismissively.
A secret smile tugged at my lips.
I still had a trump card: he owed me a favour. There was no reason to be afraid of him.
At home, I told Mum that I wanted to work at Qinglang Hotel. I wanted to change, to learn to be independent and responsible. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt the family again.
After thinking it over, she said, “Perhaps that would be good for you. Take care of yourself.”
The next day, I arrived at Ji Feiyang’s office with my luggage.
For a moment, he simply stared at me, his eyes wide. Then he recovered.
“Not bad. You look much more approachable dressed like that.”
My hair was tied in a high ponytail. I wore a white down jacket over a mustard-yellow wool jumper, with jeans and canvas shoes.
It was an ordinary outfit. Plenty of girls on the street dressed that way.
For me, it was almost unheard of.
He assigned me to reception. Pretty girls were suited to the front desk, he said, and the job required a welcoming manner and a ready smile. It would help me lose my arrogance and bad temper.
Before letting me start, though, he wanted me to watch the others and learn how they dealt with people.
Even smiling proved beyond me.
I was used to holding my head high and looking down my nose at whoever I was speaking to.
“You need to learn to smile when you greet someone,” Ji Feiyang said. “That’s the most basic part of the job.”
But the smile simply wouldn’t come. Grinning for no reason made me feel as ridiculous as a performing monkey.
“I can’t do it. Let’s skip this part. Once I actually start greeting people, I’ll smile naturally.”
Team Leader Chen was responsible for teaching me the proper etiquette.
“Reception represents the hotel,” she explained. “It may not seem like much, but it’s an important role. You need good posture and a pleasant smile. Head up, shoulders back, eyes forward. Keep your legs together naturally, and smile.”
Seeing my stiff expression, she produced a chopstick from somewhere and held it horizontally against my lips.
“Bite down.”
My front teeth closed lightly around it.
“There. See how pretty your smile is? Keep practising.”
One morning, she assigned me to the entrance.
The other girls and I formed two lines of three. I stood at the end of one line, with Team Leader Chen beside me, making four on our side.
We all wore the same uniform, our hair gathered into low buns. The fitted black jackets were a modern take on traditional Chinese dress, with standing collars, white satin bows at the throat and a row of round gold buttons down the front. Our black skirts fell to the knee.
This uniform was much prettier than my previous one. Of course, the work was different too.
“When a guest comes in, smile and bow with the rest of us,” Team Leader Chen murmured.
Soon, someone arrived.
“Welcome!”
The girls on both sides smiled and greeted the guest in unison, then bowed together.
Everyone except me.
Team Leader Chen had seriously overestimated my abilities.
“Why didn’t you bow?” she demanded sharply. “Who are you trying to impress with that attitude? Are you embarrassed? What’s there to be embarrassed about?”
I wanted to leave on the spot.
Of all the jobs Ji Feiyang could have given me, why this one?
“You need to put your pride aside. This is part of working in hospitality. It isn’t that difficult. Once you’ve done it a few times, you’ll get used to it.”
While she was lecturing me, Yan Rong came in.
Team Leader Chen immediately straightened, lifted her head and put on a smile.
“Good morning, Chairwoman!”
Both lines bowed neatly.
I remained upright, standing out like a sore thumb.
Yan Rong gave me a mildly surprised look, then approached with a smile.
“Keep learning,” she said kindly.
I didn’t like her. My impression of her had never been good, so I kept a sullen expression and said nothing.
Used to my attitude by now, she took no offence and continued inside in good spirits.
Team Leader Chen was beside herself.
“The chairwoman spoke to you! Why didn’t you answer? You’re going to get me into trouble.” She stamped her foot. “Come with me.”
After taking a few steps, she turned.
I hadn’t moved.
“Come with me!”
Her voice rose sharply.
Still, I stayed where I was.
She marched back, furious.
“Did you hear what I said? Standing here with that attitude, you’re ruining the hotel’s image.”
I looked her over.
Very few people had ever raised their voices at me. Her manner was infuriating.
My arms folded across my chest out of habit. She had ordinary features, dark skin and a mole on her face. Nobody could call her beautiful.
“And looking the way you do, with that dark complexion,” I asked provocatively, “aren’t you worried about ruining the hotel’s image?”
Laughter burst from both lines.
Team Leader Chen’s face darkened. One glare from her silenced the others.
My remark had humiliated her so badly that, for a moment, she couldn’t get a word out.
“You… insulting your superior… You have no respect for anyone. We’ll discuss this inside.”
She wasn’t about to argue with me in front of everyone.
Fine. I wasn’t afraid of her.
In the changing room, she paced in fury while I watched her with an indifferent sideways glance.
“Stand properly!”
I maintained the haughty posture of a wealthy young lady.
“So you’re too proud to bend? We’ll see about that.”
She seized me and tried to force me into a bow.
“What are you doing?”
I pushed her away.
“Teaching you to bow.”
She came at me again. I knocked her hands aside, but she persisted, determined not to stop until she’d made me do it.
In desperation, I gave her a hard shove.
She stumbled into the lockers.
“Ow!”
With a cry, she sank down against them, her left hand gripping her right arm.
She must have struck it against the metal.
My heart lurched.
I’d hurt someone again.
“Are you all right?” I asked fearfully.
She glared at me, then hurried out, cradling her injured arm.
Another disaster.
Leaning against the lockers, I kicked at the floor in frustration.
“Why did I do that again? Damn it!”
Over and over, I cursed myself.
Before long, someone opened the changing-room door.
“The general manager wants to see you.”
My foot went still.
Then I followed her out.