Chapter 1

After four years of long-distance love, Ji Shu spent eight hours on a train over the National Day holiday to visit her boyfriend, Jiang Zhixu, at Qingbei University. But he was nowhere to be found.

The dorm supervisor looked her over with a smile. “Jiang Zhixu? He signed out. Said he wouldn't be in the dorm over the holiday.”

Ji Shu tightened her grip on her suitcase handle. “Could there be a mistake? I just asked him. He said he was on campus.”

His chat was pinned to the top of her WeChat. They had been messaging only two minutes ago. He had said he was tired and wanted to sleep in his dorm.

“Why would I lie to you? Look, here's his leave slip.” The woman pushed the paper toward her. “Every holiday, that boy goes to Nanda to see his girlfriend. Rain or shine, he never misses a trip. He's devoted to her. All the boys in the dorm know. Those boys over there are his roommates.”

“What a shame Zhixu's away for the whole break. If he were here, we could put a team together and enter the tournament!”

“He's hopeless. When has he ever spent a holiday anywhere but with his girlfriend?”

“Nanda's over five hours from here, and he doesn't even complain. I asked why he didn't get her to come instead. He said he didn't want her wearing herself out on the journey. Fuck me. The man's completely lovesick.”

The boys walked past Ji Shu, laughing. She heard every word.

Her fingers clenched around the handle. The anticipation she had carried all this way curdled into dread.

Nanda? She didn't go to Nanda.

In the university entrance exams, she had scored ten points below Jiang Zhixu. He had got into Qingbei; she had ended up at Jiang University, far away in the south.

Four years. Twenty public holidays. He had never once come to see her. Whenever she asked him to visit, he said it was too far. Eight hours on the road—he could run several experiments in that time.

She had offered to come to him, but he had told her she was too young to spend all her time thinking about romance. They only had to get through these four years, he said. Then they could be together forever.

So who had he been visiting every holiday?

Wen Ran's face flashed through her mind. Her best friend went to Nanda.

No. It couldn't be. She and Jiang Zhixu had been together since high school. They loved each other. He would never neglect her to visit Wen Ran.

Head bowed, Ji Shu wheeled her suitcase out of Qingbei. She bought a ticket to Nanda. She would find out for herself.

As she set off, she messaged Jiang Zhixu.

[Zhixu, what are you doing?]

[Exhausted. Sleepy, too. Going to bed. Talk to you later.]

Then she messaged Wen Ran.

[Ranran, what are you up to?]

[A friend's come to visit. Taking them out shopping and getting something to eat in a bit!]

[Them?] Ji Shu asked. [A guy? Have you got a boyfriend?]

[Guess.]

That was all Wen Ran said, but Ji Shu's hands had begun to shake. She was terrified that Wen Ran's boyfriend might be hers.

It was dark when she reached Nanda. Outside Wen Ran's dorm, she was about to call when a familiar figure ran out through the corridor and straight into a young man's arms.

“Have you been waiting long? I told the dorm supervisor I won't be coming back tonight!”

He took a little handheld fan from his bag and held it up to her. “I've booked a hotel. Hot? Have this iced coffee. Your favorite macchiato. I just bought it.”

She slipped her arm through his. “You're the best, Zhixu. I love it! I'll give you a proper reward tonight, okay?”

“What kind of reward?”

“A kiss.”

She rose on tiptoe and kissed his lips. He wasn't satisfied with that. He drew her close and kissed her deeply.

Beneath the streetlamp, Ji Shu could see them clearly.

Jiang Zhixu. Wen Ran.

Even the fan in his hand was the one Ji Shu had given him when they graduated from high school. The stickers she had so carefully picked out were still on it. Now he was using her gift to fuss over another woman.

Emotion surged into her throat. She stared at them, her eyes burning, so stricken she could barely hold on to her suitcase.

It hit the ground with a heavy crash.

Both of them turned. The instant they saw her, their faces changed.

Jiang Zhixu frowned. His voice shook.

“Shushu, what are you doing here?”

## Chapter 2

“Shouldn't I be asking you that?”

The moment Ji Shu spoke, tears spilled down her face.

How was she supposed to believe it? The boyfriend she had loved for five years and her best friend of ten years had betrayed her together. And she had known nothing.

Jiang Zhixu let go of Wen Ran and hurried over. “I was just passing through, so I dropped in to see her. That's all.”

“Jiang Zhixu, do you think I'm an idiot? I saw you kissing her, and you're telling me that's all?”

Beside herself, Ji Shu swung her bag at him.

He didn't dodge. It struck his head, making him stagger, but he stayed on his feet.

“Shushu, don't. Please, let us explain.”

Wen Ran stepped in front of him, crying. Before she could explain anything, Ji Shu slapped her.

The sharp crack drew the attention of nearby students.

A crowd began to gather. Wen Ran held her cheek and stared at Ji Shu in disbelief.

“Shushu, we're best friends. How could you hit me?”

“So you do remember you're my best friend? Then why did you steal my boyfriend? Why did you sneak around with him behind my back? Why? Why!”

Ji Shu kept slapping her, almost frantic. Wen Ran's face was swollen and bruised, but she neither dodged nor hit back.

“It's my fault, but I couldn't help myself!” Wen Ran shook her head, sobbing. “We never meant to hurt you. We agreed we'd break up after these four years of university. Shushu, please forgive me.”

“You never meant to hurt me? You agreed to break up after four years? You're disgusting. Both of you!”

She struck harder. Jiang Zhixu could stand it no longer. He caught her wrist.

“Stop, Shushu,” he said quietly. “A lot of Ranran's classmates are here. If you make a scene, you'll ruin her reputation.”

Even now, he was worried about Wen Ran's reputation.

Watching him shield another woman, watching Wen Ran tremble behind his back, Ji Shu knew she had lost. Completely.

“What about me? Have you thought about me, Jiang Zhixu? I'm a person, not a block of wood. I have a heart. It hurts. My boyfriend and my best friend betrayed me together—do you have any idea how much that hurts?”

“Isn't that Wen Ran from our department? She's the other woman?”

“Isn't he her boyfriend? He's come to see her every holiday for the past three years! He's so handsome, always seemed so devoted. He's been cheating?”

“I've never understood what he sees in Wen Ran. She can't hold a candle to that girl.”

“I'd be devastated. The two people closest to her, betraying her together? It's like losing two loved ones at once.”

The whispers surrounded her. Ji Shu slowly pulled her wrist free.

Yes. It was like losing two loved ones.

She had long since thought of them as family.

Wen Ran's parents had died in a car accident when she was in eighth grade. She couldn't afford school, so Ji Shu had secretly taken money from her own parents to pay her fees. When Wen Ran refused to accept it, Ji Shu had paid the school office directly. Her parents had found out, but even when they beat her, she hadn't told them why.

Wen Ran hadn't had money for meals, either. Ji Shu had told her parents she couldn't get used to the school lunches and wanted to bring food from home every day. She said she had a big appetite and needed plenty of meat and vegetables. In fact, she had taken it to school to share with Wen Ran.

From then on, they had been best friends. Inseparable, everyone said. Only in high school, when Ji Shu took the science track and Wen Ran took humanities, had they been forced apart.

Then Ji Shu met Jiang Zhixu.

He was brilliant at chemistry. Whenever she didn't understand something, she went to him. Eventually someone teased him.

“You're so good to Ji Shu, Jiang Zhixu. Do you like her?”

He had straightened his back and answered clearly, “Yes. I like Ji Shu.”

They had started dating. She had introduced him to Wen Ran, and the three of them had become the closest of friends.

Never had she imagined he would fall for Wen Ran.

If that was how it was, she wanted neither of them.

She stepped back and looked at them, each word deliberate.

“Jiang Zhixu. Wen Ran. If you've liked each other all this time, you can have each other.”

“Jiang Zhixu, we're breaking up.”

“And Wen Ran, we're not friends anymore. Everything I ever did for you—I might as well have thrown it to the dogs.”

## Chapter 3

No one followed her out of Nanda.

It was already eight in the evening. There was no transport out of the city.

Then Ji Shu remembered another close friend who lived here.

Before long, Lin Yanan arrived.

“Shushu, why didn't you tell me you were coming? Here to see Wen Ran?”

“I came to see Jiang Zhixu.”

At his name, Ji Shu began crying again.

“Yanan… Jiang Zhixu… He's with Wen Ran.”

Lin Yanan slammed on the brakes and pulled over. She turned to Ji Shu in shock.

“Shushu, you found out?”

Tears caught at the corners of Ji Shu's eyes. Slowly, she turned.

“Found out what? You knew?”

“I'm sorry, Shushu. I've known for a while. But don't overthink it. They're not planning anything serious. They have a four-year agreement. Just a university romance. They'll break up when they graduate. You're still the one Zhixu loves most. You're the only one he wants to marry.”

“Wen Ran's had a hard life. She isn't asking for much. Just pretend you don't know, okay? Graduation's only a few months away. They'll break up then.”