Chapter 9: Six Years Loving the Wrong Man

Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw Qin Sang in that man’s arms.

I couldn’t bear to imagine the things she and I had done countless times together, now being done by Qin Sang with someone else.

I couldn’t imagine her soft lips kissing another man.

Not after the way she’d once kissed me with such devotion.

I’d once thought that if I truly wanted her, I had ways to make it happen.

Keeping her by my side, locking her away for the rest of her life—that wouldn’t have been impossible.

But I understood her all too well.

With her strong, unyielding nature, that would only end with both of us destroyed.

I truly loved her. In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

On the day Lu Tingnan and Jiang Wutong got engaged, Qin Sang came, just as I’d expected.

She was still as beautiful and radiant as ever.

When she smiled, her voice was bright and clear.

She greeted and chatted with each of my friends and Jiang Wutong’s friends, entirely at ease—neither timid nor conceited.

I stood outside the crowd, watching from a distance as she laughed and talked with them.

I kept draining one glass of liquor after another.

By the time I was a little drunk, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to go over and stand beside her.

I just wanted to see her a little closer.

Then a soft, adorable little girl wrapped her arms around my leg.

“Uncle, do you know where the swings are? I want to play.”

I looked down and saw a miniature version of Qin Sang.

The girl’s eyes were round and bright, beautiful as two purple grapes soaking in clear spring water.

My heart ached so sharply I could hardly breathe. Without thinking, I bent down and picked her up.

“Would you like me to take you there?”

She nodded, her chubby little hands wrapping around my neck.

I guess I didn’t look like a bad person, because she seemed to trust me.

I carried her across the lawn to the swings.

She sat down, and I gently pushed her from behind.

Then Qin Sang’s voice suddenly sounded behind me.

“Hello, Chu Yusen.”

I turned and saw her standing in the gentle evening breeze.

Her thick, glossy hair fluttered behind her like seaweed.

She looked at me and smiled softly, as though I were an old friend.

Just an ordinary old friend.

“Is she your daughter?” I pointed to the little girl on the swing.

Qin Sang nodded, a touch of pride in her eyes.

“Yes. She’s my daughter. She’s beautiful and wonderful, isn’t she?”

I nodded, too.

“Yeah. She looks exactly like you.”

The girl jumped off the swing and giggled as she ran into Qin Sang’s arms.

Qin Sang picked her up.

When she kissed the little girl’s face, my eyes suddenly burned.

If only. If only…

She should have been our daughter.

She should have been in my arms.

“Thanks for looking after her just now.”

Qin Sang smiled at me again, then picked up her daughter and turned to leave.

In the end, I couldn’t stop myself from asking a ridiculous question.

“Didn’t her father come with you?”

Qin Sang’s expression didn’t change.

“We broke up.”

“We parted amicably before she was born.”

My heart suddenly trembled. The words came out before I could think them through.

“Qin Sang, if you’d let me, I’d be willing to—”

The smile at the corner of Qin Sang’s lips grew brighter.

“Chu Yusen.”

She cut me off.

“It’s getting late. Wutong is looking for me. I should go.”

“Qin Sang, I mean it. I’d treat her as my own daughter…”

Qin Sang interrupted me again.

“But Caicai and I don’t need that.”

“I don’t need a man or a husband.”

“Caicai doesn’t need a father, either.”

“We’re happy, just the two of us.”

“Of course, there are plenty of men who want to be her father and treat her as their own.”

Qin Sang smiled, her eyes curving.

“Even if you got in line now, I’m afraid you’d be too late.”

She waved at me, then turned and walked away with her daughter in her arms.

She was utterly carefree.

So carefree that even I thought she was being cruel.

But the cruelty she showed me now—

I had brought it upon myself all those years ago.

What could I say?

All I could do was laugh bitterly.

I turned away in a daze and saw Qin Jingheng standing there, looking forlorn and sad.

He, too, was watching Qin Sang and her daughter walk away.

Suddenly, I felt a little better.

No matter what, compared with Qin Jingheng, I was still lucky.

After all, he’d never had Qin Sang. He’d never truly possessed her.

Qin Sang and I, on the other hand, had shared six whole years of intimacy, without any distance between us.

Those six years belonged to me alone. No one could take them away.

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