Chapter 16 + Extra Stories

At thirty-three, my life began once more.

EXTRA STORY — LU ZHAOZHAO

I wanted to go north and fight, but my father forced me to marry—and to become someone’s concubine, at that. Even if the man was the Crown Prince, it was bad luck enough to last eight lifetimes.

The night of the palace coup was the first time I saw Cheng Mingyue.

I was responsible for guarding the Eastern Palace gates and protecting the womenfolk. She came along the wall, and though I only glanced at her casually, she left a deep impression.

She reminded me of a northern iris: small and delicate, seemingly frail, yet composed and resilient.

I heard that she had stayed beside Zhou Hui in the Cold Palace for years, like an elder sister, a mother, and a teacher all at once.

After Zhou Hui ascended the throne, he did not even grant her a title. He let her remain beside him without status, no different from a bed-warming maid.

I thought both of them were hopeless: one was ungrateful, the other despised herself.

What changed my view was that Zhou Hui actually persuaded the Empress Dowager to make her Consort Shu. Of course, what astonished me even more was that she refused.

She used that opportunity to send the poor Lady Cai out of the palace.

At the time, I don’t know what came over me, but I wondered: Zhou Hui doted on her so much—if she became Empress one day, could she take me out of the palace too?

I couldn’t stand that weakling Zhou Hui. I wanted to fight in the north; my spear was practically rusting.

Later I understood that she could never become Empress because she simply had no desire for it.

When that idiot Zhao Yining led us into the woods to catch them in an affair, I heard Mingyue say that even if people called her jealous or domineering, that was simply who Cheng Mingyue was.

In that moment, I felt profoundly ashamed.

Though I had walked through mountains of corpses and seas of blood, as a woman facing the world’s judgments, I lacked the courage she had.

Zhou Hui loved her to the point of madness. He would never let her go in this lifetime.

Later, she withdrew to live quietly in Jingren Palace. I wanted to stay away from the flock of fluttering beauties too, so I often went to see her and talk.

I took an interest in her daughter, Wangshu. The girl had an unusual bearing and was truly a martial arts prodigy. I taught her spear techniques, thinking she might become a princess who protected the realm.

Zhou Hui doted on this daughter without limit, while he barely glanced at the son born to Concubine Wang.

So when Wangshu was fifteen, Zhou Hui appointed her Crown Princess. I was not surprised at all.

Whether it was statecraft, martial skill, or character, there was nothing to criticize in her.

By then, the Empress Dowager had died and Zhou Hui had taken complete control of the court. Anyone who disagreed was cut down.

I stopped visiting Cheng Mingyue and instead went to the Eastern Palace every day to see Wangshu.

I had to build a good relationship with her, so after she ascended the throne, she would let me fight in the north.

There was another reason, too: Cheng Mingyue made me feel sick to my stomach.

Zhou Hui seemed to have injured his hand. He leaned half his body against Cheng Mingyue’s shoulder and called her plaintively, “Elder Sister.”

I nearly vomited up everything I had eaten the day before. From then on, whenever I saw the two of them, I felt nauseated.

Zhao Yining mocked me for never being favored by the Emperor. Hmph. Why would I need the Emperor’s favor?

Not every woman in this life has to experience romance. My heart belonged to the vast northern lands.

When Wangshu was twenty-five, she ascended the throne. Zhou Hui did not die; he voluntarily abdicated.

Afterward, Cheng Mingyue took Zhou Hui away somewhere. They spent more than half the year outside the palace.

Wangshu cleared the Cheng family’s name. What had once left people half-dead with anguish was now resolved with unexpected ease.

I still could not go north. But Wangshu found me a position training the Imperial Guards.

Well, that would do.

Cheng Mingyue died before me.

In accordance with her last wish, Wangshu buried her in the beautiful Jiangnan region, where she could see green mountains and clear lakes.

I once said Wangshu was the person who truly loved and cherished Cheng Mingyue most in the world. The second half of Cheng Mingyue’s life had, at last, been lived according to her own wishes.

Two months after Cheng Mingyue died, Zhou Hui passed away too.

But he did not enjoy the good fortune she had. He lay alone in the imperial mausoleum, waiting for someone to rob his grave several hundred years later.

EXTRA STORY: WANGSHU

01

Mother said the Dragon Throne was the most honored seat in the world, but most people who sat upon it carried unspoken crimes and hidden burdens.

Those crimes and burdens had formed the road that brought them to the throne. They became inseparable from the sovereign and continued to shape the present and the future.

Everything came at a price.

Mother’s words always made me think for a long time.

When I was four, I began learning to read. Father recruited tutors from all over to teach me.

The tutors were all very good, but I always felt that the principles they taught were somewhat hollow or rigid. So after returning to the palace, I often begged Mother to explain them again.

Mother was the most unusual person in the imperial palace.

She was not one of Father’s consorts, and Father had never called himself “I, the Emperor” in front of her.