Chapter 14

Whether Zhou Hui was venting his anger or the Empress Dowager wanted to eliminate a future threat, I no longer had the strength to tell.

38

In a daze, I was summoned to the imperial tent. I heard that someone wanted to see me.

I entered and saw someone I had never expected: Master Juekong.

Over the years, his reputation had spread far and wide. People praised him as the common-born National Preceptor. He had probably been invited to pray for blessings at the spring hunt.

He had personally asked the Emperor to meet Cheng Mingyue.

Zhou Hui was astonished, unable to understand how I, living deep within the palace, could have any connection to the master.

The master merely said, “Heaven’s secrets cannot be revealed.”

We stood facing each other. Ten years had passed, yet his appearance had not changed at all. It was so uncanny as to seem almost demonic.

“Miss Mingyue, it has been ten years. Have you been well?”

I was silent for a moment, then said, “Master, you were wrong.”

His deep-set eyes regarded me. “Where was I wrong?”

I shook my head. “I am not the person he loves and cherishes most in this life.”

“Only now do I understand that ‘love’ and ‘cherish’ mean different things.”

“Love is a need of his. He only has to satisfy himself, without caring about how others feel.”

“Cherishing someone means not taking me lightly, understanding my pain, and listening to my heart.”

“Master, when it comes to an emperor, we should not use the words ‘love’ and ‘cherish’ to judge him.”

“What matters most to an emperor will always be the throne and the realm, never one woman.”

Master Juekong smiled and nodded.

“Miss Mingyue has understood a little, but not everything.”

“If I was the one who made that prophecy, then I will say a little more.”

His smile faded and his expression turned serious. “You are only in your early twenties. It is far too soon to decide whether you will be loved and cherished all your life.”

“Besides, it is not only emperors. Anyone in a position of power must put the realm first. Miss Mingyue, look a little farther ahead.”

I thought for a long time, then asked, “I am foolish. Could the master give me more specific guidance?”

Just as he had ten years ago, he shook his head as he walked out, leaving only one sentence behind:

Keep moving forward slowly. Do not be impatient.

39

I returned to the palace full of doubts, but no matter how long I thought, I could not find an answer.

Looking at Wangshu’s lively eyes, always shining with laughter, I thought that if so, I would follow Master Juekong’s advice and keep moving forward, little by little.

A little over a month later, Zhou Hui came to Jingren Palace late at night, reeking of wine, and held me tightly.

He paid no heed to anything. A rush of kisses and caresses descended on me, his movements forceful, as though he wanted to merge his body with mine.

When all had quieted, he buried his face in the hollow of my neck. “Elder Sister, can’t we live happily together?”

For the first time, I corrected the way he addressed me. “You are already the Emperor, and you’re twenty-two. You can’t keep calling me Elder Sister.”

He seemed not to hear me and only said sadly, “Elder Sister, what must I do for you to stop being angry?”

He still did not understand. I was not angry with him.

I had simply seen clearly: he was a fish who needed a great deal of water, while I was a lone bird flying through the open sky.

I could not ask him to abandon his life to come to me, just as he could not ask me to do the same.

“A-Hui, I promise I won’t leave you. Will you agree to a few things for me?”

His body stiffened.

I patted him gently to reassure him. “Don’t worry. I won’t ask you to reopen the case.”

I wanted him to agree to this: not to give me a rank among the consorts; not to require me to pay respects to anyone, attend palace banquets, or socialize; and not to allow anyone to disturb me at Jingren Palace.

When Wangshu turned ten, he would grant her a title.

He would allow Cheng Min to sit for the civil service examinations under the status of a collateral descendant of the Cheng family.

He propped himself up and looked at me. “Elder Sister, if I do this, can we go back to how things were?”

I reached out and gently stroked his brow. The familiar sensation stirred my heart.

“A-Hui, let us just live this way.”

40

Within the high-walled palace, time seemed to pass a little more slowly, yet six or seven years slipped by in an instant.

Many new faces appeared in the harem. Each person entering the palace was given one instruction: Do not disturb Aunt Mingyue at Jingren Palace.

After asking around, one woman exclaimed, “Isn’t that against the rules?”

Zhou Hui’s power grew ever more secure. What rules were left to speak of? For a time, he even carried Wangshu to court.

At eight years old, the little girl stood properly before me, her voice clear. “Mother, tomorrow my tutor will test me on the principle that a ruler’s actions should be judged, not his intentions. Could you explain it to me a little more?”

Wangshu looked like her father, but her bearing was just like mine when I lived in the Marquis’s household.

I devoted nearly all my time to teaching her, hoping only that she would have more chances to decide her own life in the future.

Of course, even though her maternal family had no influence, no one in the palace dared look down on her.

Old consorts left the harem and new ones arrived. Last year, one Concubine Wang gave birth to the only imperial son. The Empress wanted to take the child to raise as her own, but Zhou Hui refused.

Soon afterward, he named seven-year-old Wangshu Princess Yuanjia, causing an uproar throughout the court.