Chapter 6

She was silent.

I knew what she wanted to say. Over four years, she had watched us meet, fall in love, and plan a wedding. She had watched me make excuses for him countless times.

But this time, I meant it.

Four years ago, he really was good to me.

Cheng’an had been gone a year. I still wasn’t used to seeing friends. Work was manageable in daylight. But at night, when the room fell quiet, I didn’t know what to do.

Out of habit, I would buy dinner for two, only to reach my door and remember that nobody was waiting.

Zhixia couldn’t bear it. On her birthday, she insisted I go out to eat.

That was when Xue Shiye appeared.

He was a colleague of one of her friends, two years older than me, and worked at an architectural design institute.

He didn’t make a strong impression that first time. I remembered only a gray shirt and how little he spoke.

Halfway through dinner, everyone began talking about marriage. A friend casually asked whether I had a boyfriend.

I froze. Zhixia quickly changed the subject, but the friend missed the awkwardness and said a pretty girl like me must have plenty of admirers.

I picked up my bag, intending to get some air.

Xue Shiye suddenly stood.

“Good timing. I need to take a call outside.”

He pulled out my chair.

Outside the restaurant, he didn’t make any call. He simply stood a little way from me.

After a while, he asked:

“Would you like me to get you a taxi?”

I shook my head.

“No, thank you. I’ll go back in soon.”

He nodded and asked nothing else.

It was that tactful refusal to pry that stayed with me.

Gradually, we grew closer.

He was extraordinarily patient when he pursued me. Knowing I liked books, he remembered authors I had mentioned in passing. He never chased me for replies when I was working. If overtime suddenly forced me to cancel dinner, he didn’t get angry.

Once, after three straight days working on a piece, I left the editorial office after nine at night.

He was waiting downstairs with hot congee.

I asked why he hadn’t told me.

He smiled.

“I didn’t want you abandoning a half-finished revision and rushing down just to see me.”

The wind was strong that night. He sat with me in a little restaurant downstairs while I finished my late supper, then walked me home.

Near the entrance to my housing complex, I suddenly asked:

“Xue Shiye, do you know I was engaged before?”

He stopped.

“Zhixia told me a little.”

“And you still want to date me?”

He looked at me for a long time.

“Shen Wangshu, I want to be with you because I like you. Not because of who you did or didn’t love before.”

My tears fell without warning.

Alarmed, he reached out to wipe them away, then stopped halfway, afraid I wouldn’t want him to. Finally, he took a tissue from his pocket and offered it.

“Did… did I say something wrong?”

I shook my head.

In that moment, I wanted to try loving someone again.

Not to forget Xu Cheng’an. I was truly moved by the man Xue Shiye was then. He was so kind that, for the first time, I thought I might still have another future.

—

### 7

For the first two years, we rarely argued.