Spring Returns to Me

Even when Pei Yunzhao pointed at me and accused me of using the debt of saving his life to demand repayment, warning that I would suffer retribution one day, Shen Xingyi still stubbornly shielded me, blocking every word that could have put me in an awkward position.

The red candle suddenly crackled with a sharp pop.

On our wedding night, Shen Xingyi lifted my red veil.

He did not reach for the nuptial wine.

In the flickering candlelight, he watched me quietly.

His gentle phoenix eyes held none of the joy of a wedding night. Only pity.

“It’s a pity that with all your cunning and all your tricks, you still only know how to entrust your future to a man.”

My whole body stiffened. My nails dug into the elaborate embroidery of my wedding gown.

So he had known everything all along.

So the young servant I had bribed hadn’t disappeared because his elderly mother at home had fallen seriously ill.

And the moss by the pond hadn’t been cleared by good fortune.

Shen Xingyi knew it all.

He knew my hidden thoughts, the ones I could never bring into the light, and all my shameless schemes.

He had simply chosen not to expose me. He had even helped clean up after me.

For a moment, I froze, my expression ugly, unable to find an answer.

But Shen Xingyi’s eyes held no reproach.

He sighed, picked up the fox-fur cloak beside him, and gently draped it over my shoulders.

“Let it be. You had your reasons…”

“But I have no interest in fame or an official career, and I possess no great talent. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you one day.”

“As long as I’m here, I’ll do my best to protect you. You won’t need to use those tricks anymore.”

He turned away and coughed softly.

His slender silhouette beneath the red candlelight looked desolate.

How could there be a person like this in the world?

He had clearly seen how despicable I was, yet he didn’t blame or hate me. Instead, he pitied the circumstances I had been forced into.

The days after our marriage were like a gentle dream.

I put away all my thorns.

I began learning to be a virtuous mistress of the household.

In the morning, I served food to the Marquis and his wife. At night, I tended the red clay brazier in the small kitchen and brewed medicine for Shen Xingyi.

I also learned to stop clashing with Pei Yunzhao and treat her like a younger sister, the way Shen Xingyi always did.

At last, the Marquis’s residence truly accepted me.

The Marchioness would take my hand and patiently teach me how to manage the household.

Pei Yunzhao still avoided me, but her manner softened considerably.

On New Year’s Eve, I could finally sit beside Shen Xingyi, accepting the chestnuts he had peeled for me.

Then I would trade a few half-hearted jabs with Pei Yunzhao with a smile, and roast honey tangerines to place in Shen Xingyi’s palm.

Everything I had was thanks to Shen Xingyi.

Even if I had schemed to get it.

I didn’t regret it.

I had only forgotten that the Bodhisattva looks down upon all living things and never favors one person alone.

He was gentle with me because gentleness was simply his nature.

And how could happiness built on schemes ever last?

Pei Yunzhao had been right. Sooner or later, I would face retribution.

05

The second year after our marriage.

Envoys from Mobei came to the capital to seek a marriage alliance with a Great Yan princess.

Princess Pei Yunzhao was personally chosen for the alliance. She had to marry an old khan, over fifty, and live in distant Mobei, where the people followed the custom of eating raw meat and drinking blood.

Pei Yunzhao was not a favored princess. She had no choice.

So she wept and made a scene, refused to eat, and smashed every porcelain object in her room.

In the end, she tried to take her own life.

When I kicked the door open, Pei Yunzhao was standing on a round stool, her slender white neck inside a white silk noose hanging from a beam.

I rushed forward with all my strength and clung to her legs.

The stool toppled over.

Pei Yunzhao fell hard on top of me, and we rolled through the shards of broken porcelain scattered across the floor.

The white silk tightened around her neck, leaving a horrible purple bruise.

She gasped for breath, then suddenly rolled over and clamped her hands around my neck.

“What are you pretending to be a good person for? Who asked you to save me?!”

Pei Yunzhao’s eyes were bloodshot, tears spilling down onto my cheeks.

“You schemed your way into my place and stole Brother Xingyi from me. Now you’re pretending to be benevolent?”

“This is all your fault!”

She shoved me to the floor. My palm landed on broken porcelain.

Fresh blood immediately spilled out.

When Shen Xingyi ran in, he saw only the chaos in the room.

He carefully lifted Pei Yunzhao, who was crying uncontrollably.

His gaze passed over my bleeding palm, but he said nothing.

That night, Shen Xingyi sat in his study until dawn.

Early the next morning, he put on his court robes and went to the palace to see His Majesty.

He volunteered to escort the marriage mission and the princess on the distant journey to Mobei.

When the news reached the Marquis’s residence, I dropped the bowl of pregnancy-soothing medicine I had just prepared.

The dark-brown liquid spilled all over the floor, filling the air with its bitter smell.

I was pregnant then.

I had just reached my third month, and the pregnancy was still unstable.

Shen Xingyi wore a dark blue fox-fur cloak. His face was pale.

I caught the hem of his robe and looked up at him, pleading.