Spring Returns to Me

Whenever the young man smiled, his eyes curved into a gentle line.

I held the still-warm honey tangerine tightly and hid it in my sleeve.

I couldn’t bear to eat it, nor let anyone else see it.

And yet, I greedily wanted more.

No one gave me good things for no reason.

Unless I fought for them, took them, and schemed with all my might.

So I set my sights on Shen Xingyi, the most distinguished and gentle person in the Marquis’s residence.

But Pei Yunzhao always saw through my schemes with ease.

She was a princess born to wealth and honor.

Because her birth chart was said to clash with the emperor’s, the Marquis of Zhenyuan had adopted her and raised her in his household from childhood.

She wore the most dazzling red gauze dresses embroidered with gold and the brightest pearls.

Whenever she looked at me, she lifted her chin slightly, making no effort to hide the contempt in her eyes.

On the Qixi Festival, the residence built a tower covered in brilliant lanterns.

I had my eye on an octagonal revolving glass lantern.

So, before all the noblewomen, I took up a brush and wrote a poem full of delicate melancholy. Everyone sighed and praised it.

I had no poetic talent at all. I’d paid a scholar to compose the poem for me long before.

I had secretly memorized it over a long period, all to make sure I won first place that night.

I thought I could make Shen Xingyi notice me that way.

But before I could even see Shen Xingyi, Pei Yunzhao strode over, snatched the lantern, and smashed it to the ground.

The glass shattered into pieces, and the candle flames devoured the fine silk.

“Since when did this poem by the scholar Yi’an become yours?”

Pei Yunzhao sneered, the gold phoenix hairpin in her hair swaying. “The ugly duckling imitating the swan only makes a fool of herself.”

My eyes reddened, and I lowered my head.

My nails dug into my palm, leaving a crescent-shaped cut.

The crowd fell into a frightening silence.

But Shen Xingyi pushed through them and came over.

“Even if the poem is by Yi’an, doesn’t it suit this scene perfectly?”

He wore a white robe with wide sleeves. The night breeze lifted the hem, carrying a faint scent of medicine.

Shen Xingyi removed the white jade pendant from his waist and gave it to the servant beside him as a reward.

Then he turned and placed an even more exquisite jade-rabbit lantern in my hands.

His slender, pallid fingers glimmered in the candlelight as he quietly shielded me behind him.

“Miss Du is as graceful as an orchid. She only wanted to add to the beauty of the scene and share in everyone’s fun.”

Shen Xingyi’s voice was gentle, like a cup of warmed spring wine.

He turned his head and covered his mouth to cough twice.

I accepted the lantern. As he leaned closer, I heard him murmur comfortingly, “Zhao’er is still young. Don’t hold it against her.”

My heart suddenly skipped a beat.

Shen Xingyi was always like this.

Like a gentle older brother, he stood between Pei Yunzhao and me, always trying to smooth things over.

He understood that I was living under someone else’s roof and knew I didn’t dare argue with a princess. He was afraid I would be hurt.

Whenever Pei Yunzhao made things difficult for me, he would deliberately take my side, protecting me again and again.

It was only those eyes, so full of deep feeling whenever he looked at someone else,

that made me entertain thoughts I shouldn’t have.

Maybe he had feelings for me too?

But that secret joy was shattered half a month later.

I carried a bowl of lily and lotus-seed soup I had made myself and stopped outside the Marchioness’s main courtyard.

“That girl Yuning is clever and pretty. It’s a pity her birth is a little low, and she’s too calculating.”

She turned a page, lifted her teacup, and brushed aside the foam. “I’m afraid she isn’t suited to be the principal wife of the household. Prepare a little more dowry and marry her to some honest, reliable family in a junior branch of the clan, one that farms and studies.”

The old matron beside her smiled and echoed, “Madam is kind. And the heir’s marriage…”

“Xingyi?” The Marchioness’s voice softened with sincere affection. “He and Zhao’er grew up together. I think they have feelings for each other. After this year, I’ll go to the palace and ask His Majesty for permission.”

The cold wind slipped down my collar.

The wrist holding the tray began to ache and go numb.

The lotus-seed soup had long since gone cold.

The people of the Marquis’s residence had treated me very well.

They gave me new clothes, assigned a maid to serve me, and let me live amid all that splendor.

But in the end, I was still an outsider.

I simply couldn’t accept it.

Greedy, shameless, and determined to grasp what wasn’t mine.

04

In my previous life, I eventually found an opportunity and bribed a young servant to push Shen Xingyi into the water.

While he was drowning, I used my own body to save him, then arranged for everyone to see us both drenched and disheveled.

Just as I had hoped, rumors spread everywhere.

Shen Xingyi caught a chill. For half a month, he coughed as if his insides were tearing apart, yet he still forced himself to get up and knelt before the Marchioness to ask for my hand.

He said I had saved his life, and he couldn’t let me be slandered because of it.