Chapter 5

After that night, Pei Yan ordered the side courtyard sealed.

No one was allowed to come and go freely, but carts of gifts arrived one after another.

Today, a jade ruyi. Tomorrow, several measures of pearls. I didn’t touch a single item. I had Nanny Zhou stack them all in a corner.

I couldn’t guess what madness had seized him this time.

Before, I had waited outside the palace gates for him, and every time he used court affairs as an excuse to avoid me. Now he had locked me in the side courtyard, yet diligently sent these lifeless, cold objects every day.

The people in the palace were skilled at reading the wind.

A few days earlier, they had laughed at me for losing the phoenix-carved hairpin. Now, seeing the gifts arrive without end, they had begun guessing which woman His Majesty truly favored.

Just yesterday, they had taken the long way around to avoid Zhaohua Palace. Today, they tiptoed around the side courtyard.

Gu Yunshu finally couldn’t sit still. She chose a time when Pei Yan was at court and barged into the side courtyard.

She glanced at the chests stacked along the wall and sneered, “Little Sister’s status is so high now. You won’t even see your elder sister when she comes to pay her respects.”

Then she mocked me, “What? These lifeless things His Majesty sent still haven’t warmed your heart?”

I didn’t lift my head. I continued copying sutras.

When she saw I was ignoring her, she raised her hand and knocked over the inkstone.

Ink splattered over my clothes and ruined the scripture I had just finished writing.

She was about to continue when the door suddenly opened and Pei Yan stepped inside.

Elder Sister immediately put on a frightened expression. “Your Majesty, I only wanted to grind ink for Little Sister. Who could have expected her to…”

I couldn’t be bothered to explain.

In my view, Pei Yan would still take her side.

To my surprise, he didn’t even look at her. He stared only at the ink-stained clothes and said coldly, “Leave.”

Gu Yunshu froze.

Pei Yan ordered the palace attendants to escort her out, then turned to me as if waiting for me to complain.

He suppressed his anger and asked, “You’ve been wronged. Why didn’t you tell me?”

I threw the stained sutra page into the brass basin. “Why should I tell you?”

I wiped my hands with a cloth, still not looking at him.

At last, he lost control and grabbed my shoulders. “I’m standing up for you!”

He demanded angrily, “I’ve been sending you gifts every day. I just protected you in front of her. How much more do you want me to do?”

He forced me to look up at his furious face. “Were those gifts meant to buy my gratitude, or to buy Your Majesty some peace of mind?”

His pupils abruptly contracted.

I smiled. “This concubine is too lowly to bear such heavy guilt from Your Majesty.”

“Silence!”

I called him by his name. “But, Pei Yan…”

Seeing his face turn pale in an instant, I finished, “Even if you emptied the state treasury, you could never bring back the child who was never born. You could never undo the cold disease I contracted that rainy night on the steps.”

I pried his fingers from my shoulders one by one. “The young man who used to guess lantern riddles with me was killed long ago by your own imperial decree.”

I pushed his hand away. “My heart is already dead. What more do you want from this empty shell?”

He staggered backward, as if he had suddenly lost all his strength. His eyes slowly reddened.

12

After that, Pei Yan restrained his temper and continued sending things to the side courtyard every day.

Today, it was a new white fox-fur cloak from the tribute. Tomorrow, the pastries I had liked at my father’s estate. Even the incense before the Buddha statue was replaced with expensive agarwood.

I only found it absurd.

When he had me, he took me for granted. Only after losing me did he hurriedly use lifeless things to prove his affection.

I accepted all the gifts, then locked them away intact in the storeroom.

Whenever he left the morning court, he would stand outside the side courtyard for a while. Through the window, he could see that my candle was still lit. He would linger for about half an hour, then leave in silence.

I knew he was outside. But I never ordered anyone to open the door, and I never stopped writing to wait for him.

Everyone in the palace saw the change. On the surface, I was the one being neglected, but Pei Yan’s thoughts were fixed on the side courtyard. He visited Zhaohua Palace less and less.

There was movement at court too.

Censors repeatedly submitted memorials accusing him of doting exclusively on a consort and allowing the harem to lose its order. Some openly said Gu Yunshu was not worthy of her position.

One night, not long after Pei Yan had left, an unfamiliar young eunuch came in to replace the tea.

He lowered his head to set down the cup and seemed to ask without moving his lips, “Your Majesty, the Prince asked me to ask: has the time come?”

My hand, rolling the Buddhist beads, paused.

He was an informant planted in the palace by the deposed Crown Prince, Pei Shuo.

I looked at the crescent moon outside the window. “Tell him it still needs a little more time.”

Then I murmured, “The fire at court has already caught. It’s time to add another log to the harem’s fire.”