Chapter 3

She stared at me as if I were a fool who didn’t know what was good for me.

“Why not take this chance to marry into a prominent family? Are you afraid I won’t look after you later?”

We had fought and argued growing up, but in the end, we were sisters born of the same mother.

My elder sister studied me suspiciously, then asked, “You’re not plotting something else, are you?”

I told her my real intention outright.

“I want to find a husband who’ll marry into our family.”

My sister was so surprised she couldn’t speak for a long moment.

“Why would you come up with an idea like that?”

All these years, everyone had praised me for my virtue, and plenty of men had wanted to marry me.

But what they valued was simply that, once I became their wife, I could manage their household, honor their parents, raise their children, and let them live without a care.

I was tired.

I used to think I could remain untouched by anything.

It took living through one whole lifetime to realize that I wanted to be cherished, too. I wanted someone who would stand by my side even when I was being willful.

But perhaps there was no one in the world who would indulge me that way.

At the very least, I could start by loving myself.

So I decided to find a husband who would marry into our family.

This time, I wanted to live on my own terms.

5

When I told our parents, they were even more shocked than my sister.

“Qinghe, even if the Crown Prince didn’t choose you, there are plenty of decent families in Chengzhou who would ask for your hand.”

I answered calmly, “They want to marry me for the lives they want to lead. I want a husband to marry into our family for the life I want to lead.”

It was the first time since I had grown up that I had refused to yield.

“I’ve decided to find a husband who’ll marry into our family. You don’t need to talk me out of it.”

Mother thought the Crown Prince’s change of choice had hurt me. She pulled me close and tried to soothe me gently.

“Qinghe, marriage is for a lifetime. You can’t make a decision out of spite.”

“If I made a spiteful decision every time I was hurt, I wouldn’t have made it through all these years.”

Mother stared at me, stunned.

She knew perfectly well how differently she had treated my sister and me.

“Are you resentful of your sister?”

I had never blamed my sister.

The ones who had truly played favorites were our parents.

“Don’t worry, Mother. I don’t resent either of you, either.”

At least, they had never let me go hungry or cold. They had let me grow up safely in the Gu family.

“But I won’t change my mind about finding a husband to marry into our family.”

After my sister’s wedding date was set, our parents devoted all their attention to her dowry.

In this life, she was taking even more into the Eastern Palace than the dowry I had received in my previous life.

Our parents sold their most valuable shops for gold and silver, then packed every coin into her dowry chests.

“There are people to look after and expenses everywhere in the palace. Mingzhu can’t go in without money of her own.”

After they finished the inventory, they showed it to me as well.

“Your sister is the Crown Princess. The Gu family can’t let the imperial household look down on us.”

I didn’t even open the list.

“You and Mother can decide.”

The palace bestowed plenty of pearls and jewels, too. Our parents kept none of them and told my sister to take everything.

Perhaps she felt a little guilty toward me. She suggested that our whole family move to the capital with her.

“There isn’t much of our estate left in Chengzhou. We might as well all move to the capital.”

“Father and Mother can live there and enjoy the good life with me. Little Sister, if there’s anything you like, just ask me.”

Father looked troubled.

He was the prefect of Chengzhou. He could not simply move away whenever he pleased.

But for my sister, he was still willing to make concessions.

“Your mother and Qinghe can go to the capital with you first. When I retire, I’ll come join you.”

Mother could not bear to part from my sister and immediately agreed.

“Once you enter the palace, I won’t be able to see you whenever I want. It would be good for me to live nearby in the capital.”

I cut in.

“Where would we live in the capital?”

Land there was worth its weight in gold. With what the Gu family had left, we could not afford a proper residence. A humble little courtyard, meanwhile, would not suit the family home of the Crown Princess.

My sister replied without hesitation. “The capital is enormous. Surely there’s somewhere we can stay.”

There certainly was. I only feared we would move there and become an object of ridicule.

I reminded her, “The Emperor has already allowed you to leave the palace for your wedding, and the Empress herself will see you off. That is an honor beyond measure. If the Gu family rushes to move to the capital and settles in some inadequate place, people will say the Crown Princess’s maiden family is poor.”

Our parents understood. My sister, however, did not think it mattered.

“If we sell the ancestral home and all the farmland in Chengzhou, won’t we have the money?”

I looked at her and asked just one question.

“If we sell everything, what will I use to find a husband who’ll marry into our family?”

6

My sister opened her mouth, but in the end she had nothing to say.

Late that night, Mother came to see me alone and promised she would not give my sister the whole family fortune.

“Mingzhu has been spoiled since she was little and doesn’t know any better… Don’t hold it against her.”

“I know. I won’t blame her.”

After all, blaming anyone would not bring back what had already been given away.

Mother seemed reassured. She took a list of land deeds from a wooden box.

“Your father and I set this portion aside for you. It’s less than Mingzhu’s share, but it should still be enough to build a life in Chengzhou with a husband who joins our family.”

She had only half extended the list when she drew it back.

“Qinghe, I’ve thought it over. Mingzhu may have a point about our moving to the capital.”

It was not even winter yet, but my fingers began to grow cold.

Mother said that when Father retired, he would have to go to the capital to rely on my sister anyway.

“We’re alone in here, so let me tell you the truth.”

“When your sister becomes Empress, the whole Gu family will benefit.”

“If you want a husband to join our family, choose a capable young man from a poor household. Once he rises in the world, he won’t dare turn against you when your sister is Empress.”