Chapter 2

“Before the wedding, the palace will send someone to teach the Crown Princess proper etiquette. You needn’t worry.”

My elder sister smiled along with him.

“Father, Mother, are you really afraid I won’t be able to learn?”

Etiquette could certainly be learned. But Father and Mother and I had never been worried about a few rules of decorum.

I had lived to sixty before getting another chance. I didn’t want to watch my sister walk the same painful road.

That night, I went to her room and told her about every constraint of life in the palace.

“Just thinking about how many consorts the Crown Prince will have one day is enough to upset you.”

My sister propped her chin on her hand. After listening, she suddenly gave a smug little snort.

“So you finally can’t keep pretending.”

“You’re jealous of me, aren’t you?”

3

My sister listed every time I had stepped in to rescue her in front of other people over the years.

She thought every concession I had made was only to earn a good reputation for myself.

“I always knew you were jealous because I’m prettier than you. You deliberately act generous just so everyone will praise you.”

“Too bad the person His Highness the Crown Prince truly likes is still me.”

“Don’t worry. We’re sisters, after all. Once I’m Empress, I won’t leave you out.”

She spoke with such pride, as if the Empress’s throne were already hers.

“And don’t try to scare me with talk of consorts. There may be plenty of women in the world, but how many of them are prettier than I am?”

I had said everything that needed saying.

If she refused to listen, our parents could look after her from then on.

The Crown Prince had come to seek her hand, but he had only sent half the betrothal gifts. The imperial decree confirming the marriage had not yet been issued.

Our parents still hoped they could persuade her one more time before everything was settled.

My sister grew impatient with their repeated warnings.

“Heaven gave me this face so I could rise above everyone else. Why are you trying to stop me?”

If the Gu family had enough influence to support her outside the palace, she might have done well there. If she were careful and perceptive, if she knew when to advance and when to retreat, she might even have lived in peace.

But she was both proud and self-important. She had no idea how difficult the road beyond the palace gates could be.

Our parents could not persuade her, so they placed their hopes on me instead.

Father lowered his voice. “Qinghe, if someone from the Gu family must become Crown Princess, I would rather it be you. You’ve always been more sensible than Mingzhu.”

My sister happened to overhear him.

She stormed in and argued with our parents, accusing them of having never truly loved her.

“So now that we have a chance to rise to the heavens in one step, both of you still only care about your younger daughter!”

Mother was so anxious that tears filled her eyes.

“You silly girl. With your temper, how much hardship will you have to endure in the Eastern Palace?”

My sister immediately fired back.

“I’ll be the Crown Princess, and then the Empress. Who would dare make me suffer?”

“If you really love me, you should let me have what I want.”

When Xiao Chengjun returned to the Gu residence with the imperial decree confirming the marriage, he heard about their argument.

He frowned and asked to speak with me in private.

My sister immediately panicked, thinking he had changed his mind.

“Does Your Highness also think my younger sister would make a more suitable Crown Princess than I would?”

When I entered the front hall, Xiao Chengjun was brushing a stray lock of hair from my sister’s forehead.

“With a luminous pearl in hand, why would I need a fish’s eye?”

At those words, my sister was finally reassured.

He dismissed everyone else, leaving only the two of us in the hall.

Our decades as husband and wife had not been for nothing. He recognized me, too.

After a moment of silence, Xiao Chengjun asked, “Do you resent me?”

“I don’t.”

“I didn’t resent you in my previous life, and I don’t resent you in this one.”

He regretted only that he had not married my sister.

Aside from that, throughout the decades we had treated each other with formal respect, he had never deliberately made things difficult for me. I had never lacked the honor or dignity due an Empress.

He still did not understand.

“If you don’t resent me, why are you trying to stop Mingzhu from marrying me?”

I did not argue. I only said, “I was wrong.”

I had used the knowledge of a woman who had lived sixty years to decide for a teenage girl which path should make her happy. Wasn’t that just another kind of self-righteousness?

I had seen only that my sister lived comfortably after marrying a man who joined our family. I had never asked whether she regretted not entering the Eastern Palace.

Xiao Chengjun clearly misunderstood me. He thought I could not bear the difference between our two lives.

“If you’re willing, once I ascend the throne, I can bring you into the palace, too.”

“I don’t want that.”

4

Xiao Chengjun looked momentarily stunned. A little later, he asked, “Then whom do you want to marry?”

There was a hint of stiffness in his voice that he probably did not notice himself.

If I were merely the unmarried Gu Qinghe of this life, with no memories of rebirth, he might not have cared whom I married.

But I had once been his wife. Now I was about to marry someone else, and he felt unsettled.

I told him I had no intention of marrying out.

“In this life, I want to stay in Chengzhou with my parents.”

A hint of amusement appeared in his eyes.

“You really do seem like a girl in her teens now.”

“And you’re being childish.”

In Great Sheng, there had been women who never married and stayed home to care for their parents.

Before leaving, he still left me with one promise.

“If you change your mind later, there will always be a place for you by my side.”

I rubbed my ear, as if I had just heard an inconvenient buzzing sound.

As soon as Xiao Chengjun left, my sister began questioning me.

“What did he say to you? And what did you say to him?”

“Gu Qinghe, I will not share a husband with my sister. Absolutely not.”

I casually made up a reason, telling her Xiao Chengjun wanted to introduce a match for me.

“Perhaps His Highness thinks he shouldn’t slight his future wife’s younger sister.”

Only then did my sister nod in satisfaction.

“And what did you tell him?”

“I said I wouldn’t marry.”