Chapter 2

He took a tissue and wiped the sweat from Lin Manman's nose, then the grease from the corner of her mouth.

He looked exasperated, but his voice was full of indulgence.

I'd never seen him so attentive to any girl.

Clearly, she really was different to him.

Suddenly, a lettuce wrap appeared on my plate too.

I turned blankly to Cen Xi. He gave me a broad grin, open and innocent.

“Try it. I'll make you a few more.”

I smiled.

But when I turned back, I caught Xia Shen pausing as he brushed sauce onto the meat.

His cool gaze swept over me, then quickly withdrew.

I froze.

A moment later, I decided I must have imagined that look.

It was dark when we left the restaurant.

On the way back, Cen Xi offered to buy drinks for everyone. I immediately suggested going with him.

When we returned with the drinks, I saw Xia Shen and Lin Manman standing beneath a parasol tree in the distance.

His arm was around her waist, his head bent.

She rose a little on tiptoe.

They were kissing, deeply and lingeringly, oblivious to everything around them.

I stared.

Before I could brace myself, tears began to fall, beyond my control.

It felt as though a knife were gouging at my heart again and again. I hurt so much I shivered with cold.

Cen Xi saw my expression. Disappointment flickered in his eyes, but he quickly hid it.

He stepped in front of me, his tall frame blocking the scene.

Then he faced me with his warmest, brightest smile and spoke as naturally as ever.

“Finals are coming up. Shall we study at the library tomorrow? I can get there early and save you a seat.”

I looked at him in surprise.

Meeting his hopeful eyes, I nodded.

“All right.”

He broke into a grin, showing his white teeth, utterly delighted.

Sometimes feelings really are strange.

That night, watching Xia Shen and Lin Manman kiss romantically beneath the parasol tree, I had been heartbroken beyond hope.

Yet after that one night of misery, my heart suddenly stopped hurting.

4

Once I was with Cen Xi, I discovered he wasn't actually someone who blushed easily.

He was only cautious and hesitant around me.

That weekend, we arranged to study together at the library. He went early to save me a seat.

Our dorms were close to the side entrance, so I headed straight there. I found him outside, talking to a girl.

I didn't know her. She was quite pretty, but she looked upset.

“Why turn me down?” she asked. “Even if you don't feel the same, can't we at least be friends?”

I paused, a little surprised. In truth, I felt quite calm. We'd been together for a while, but if anyone had asked whether I had romantic feelings for him, I was still a long way from that.

Faced with a girl confessing to him, Cen Xi didn't even blink. His expression was distant, his manner unmistakably closed to her.

“I have a girlfriend,” he said seriously. “If she knew I was friends with a girl who'd told me she liked me, she'd be upset. And I don't want her to be upset.”

Standing a short distance away, I heard every word.

Something stirred in my heart.

It was like a stone dropped into a still lake: small enough to look harmless, yet powerful enough to send waves swelling out across the water.

His answer made the girl so angry that fat tears rolled down her cheeks.

He remained cool throughout, unmoved.

At last she covered her face and ran away.

She happened to run toward me.

Cen Xi turned and saw me. He stopped short, then his face lit up, his eyes clear and bright.

A moment later, apparently afraid I might misunderstand, he scratched his head. He looked flustered, growing more awkward by the second.

I smiled, walked over, and slipped my arm through his.

It was the first time I'd done that of my own accord.

He went rigid. His eyes widened, and color rushed into his cheeks. He looked adorably lost.

“Come on,” I said, laughing. “Finals are only a week away. Let's get inside and study.”

Still dazed, he let me pull him into the library.

When he finally recovered, the corners of his mouth wouldn't stay down. He wanted to laugh aloud, but being in the library, he had to hold it in without a sound.

5

I don't know what Cen Xi told Xia Shen after we finished studying that day and returned to our separate dorms.

But that night, a message from Xia Shen woke me from a sound sleep.

“Cen Xi's had a crush on you for two years. You two could give it a try.”

I read it drowsily, my mind too foggy to take it in.

Then a second message arrived.

“I hear things are moving forward between you. I hope you genuinely want to be with him, not for some other reason, or because you're upset and trying to make a point.”

That woke me up.

What did he mean?

What “other reason”?

What was I supposed to be upset about?

I almost laughed.

So he'd always known I liked him. Did he think I was dating Cen Xi to spite him?

I typed a reply.

In fact, I wasn't calm at all as I wrote it. Images of Cen Xi kept appearing in my mind, making warmth rise inexplicably inside me.

“You've got the wrong idea. I'm already a sophomore, and I've never dated anyone. It felt like time to start. Cen Xi just happened to come along at the right moment.”

After I sent it, his status changed to “typing.”

So I sent another.

“It's late. Get some sleep. You don't need to worry about me. Cen Xi and I are doing well. I'm going to bed too. Bye.”

A little later, he replied.

“Okay. Good night.”

Those last two words startled me.

Some people said a good night between a man and a woman always held a little something more.

I had always been the one to say it first, carrying a small, carefully hidden hope each time.

His reply had invariably been a perfunctory “bye,” if he replied at all.

Of course, I wasn't going to read anything into his sudden good night.

That chapter of my life was over.

I tossed my phone aside and closed my eyes.

Then I slept very well.

6

Cen Xi and I studied together at the library every day. During that time, we grew close quickly.

The evening before our exams, it was nine by the time we left.

He held my hand, his face flushed, and spoke a little nervously.

“The dorms don't close for another two hours. Shall we walk around a while?”

It was summer, and quite hot.

Although finals began the next day, I felt I'd prepared well and was confident about the exams, so I readily agreed.

He kept hold of my hand as we walked and talked.

After a while, he spotted a bubble tea shop nearby. Only then did he let go of our sweaty hands.

“Wait here a moment.”

He ran to the shop, bought me a strawberry yogurt drink, and got himself peach-and-watermelon juice.

When he ran back and handed me my drink, he explained casually, “Milk tea has caffeine. It can keep you awake at night. I remembered you liked this strawberry yogurt too.”

He'd only run a short distance, but a line of sweat dotted his forehead.

Smiling, I took a wet wipe from my bag, tore it open, and handed it to him.

“Wipe your face.”

He wiped off the sweat while I lowered my head and sipped the cool strawberry yogurt.

I always remembered the peculiar taste of that night's drink.

It was extraordinarily sweet, like rich honey.

A little later, I noticed sweat running down his neck.

Without thinking, I took out another wipe and reached over to wipe it away.

He went still.

He stared at me, his Adam's apple bobbing several times, his gaze growing more intense.

I hurriedly drew my hand back.

But he suddenly caught my wrist, blushing.

“A little more?”

I pressed my lips together.

I kept feeling something was brewing between us.

My heart beat faster and faster.

Even the air I breathed seemed sweet.

Only after I had wiped his neck dry did I shyly withdraw my hand.

My cheeks burned.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him swallow again.

He wasn't doing much better than I was.

His hands trembled with nerves, and his gaze was unusually heated.

His tongue seemed tied in knots. The words came out in a jumble.

“Um… I… could you… could you…”

Unable to finish, he grew anxious.

“No, no. I mean… could I… could I kiss you?”

I lowered my head, feeling as though my heart might leap out of my chest.

Nervously biting my lip, I blushed, my cheeks hot.

When I said nothing, he pressed his lips together in confusion, then gathered his courage again.

“If you don't say anything, I'll take that as a yes.”

His hands trembling, he drew me into his arms.

Then he bent his head and kissed me, very softly and very briefly.

Immediately afterward, he let me go in a panic.

For an instant, my lips felt as though a current had passed through them: soft, tingling, numb. It was a very strange sensation.

Suddenly, someone rushed at us.

He grabbed me and yanked me out of Cen Xi's arms.

A hard punch followed, aimed straight at him.

I turned in shock.

Xia Shen stood there, his face dark, his eyes clouded.

He glared at Cen Xi.

“What are you doing?”

7

Without a word, Cen Xi stepped forward and punched him back.

Once I came to my senses, I hurried between them and pulled them apart.

Confused, I confronted Xia Shen.

“You should be asking yourself that!”

He looked at me in a way I couldn't understand. Unreadable emotions churned in his eyes, as though I had done him some terrible wrong.

“Cen Xi is my boyfriend,” I told him. “We were doing what any couple might do.”

Shock and panic flashed across his face.

I frowned at him, utterly bewildered.

What was wrong with him?

Cen Xi took my hand firmly. His cold gaze passed over Xia Shen's face, a mocking smile touching his mouth.

But when he turned to me, all the gentleness returned to his eyes.

“It's late, and we have exams tomorrow. I'll walk you back to the dorm.”

He led me past Xia Shen.

Suddenly, a light came into Xia Shen's vacant eyes.

He caught my wrist, his voice as low as ever.

“Tan Lu, Lin Manman and I broke up.”

8

I paused and looked at him in surprise.

He raised his eyes to mine, full of hope and pleading.

“I regret pushing you toward him.”

Hearing that, I froze.

He had never liked me. Could he really regret it?

Yet for the first time, I saw myself reflected in his deep eyes.

He stared at me intently, a deep, fervent affection surging through his gaze.

I had never expected to see him look at me with such feeling.

But facing him now, I felt nothing stir inside me.

Beside me, Cen Xi flared up.

“Xia Shen, what do you think you're doing?”