Chapter 1

I'd liked him for seven years. To keep the girl he wanted from getting the wrong idea, he even encouraged his roommate to ask me out.

“My roommate's had a crush on you for two years,” he texted me. “Why not give him a chance?”

But once I was with his roommate, he came charging up to me, his eyes red.

“Did you make those chocolates yourself?”

I suddenly remembered telling him that he was the only person I'd ever make chocolates for.

1

When I heard that Xia Shen had confessed to Lin Manman and been turned down, I felt a little lucky.

So when he asked me to meet him at a café, I took particular care with my appearance.

After all, his disappointment was a good opportunity for me to slip into his heart.

Soft music played inside. From the doorway, I could already see he hadn't come alone. Lin Manman sat beside him, with his roommate Cen Xi opposite.

His lashes curved like crescent moons. A faint smile touched his lips, his eyes clear and his expression gentle as he talked to her.

My gaze dimmed. My heart sank.

He saw me at the door and smiled, but all the happiness in his eyes came from Lin Manman.

I didn't understand.

Hadn't she turned him down?

Why were they together?

Perhaps they couldn't be lovers and had become friends instead, I told myself. In that case, I still had a chance.

I walked over. The only empty seat was beside Cen Xi.

As soon as I sat down, he blushed, flustered and so tense he seemed unable to move naturally.

I looked across at Xia Shen and made myself smile as casually as I could.

“What did you want to see me about?”

His fond gaze passed over Lin Manman's face. He put down his coffee and took her hand, closing his free hand around it before turning to me.

“I just wanted to clear things up for Manman. You and I have always been friends. Buddies. Right?”

My eyes fell to their joined hands.

With a few easy movements, he laced his fingers through hers.

They gazed at each other, oblivious to everyone else. The sweetness in their smiles was unmistakable: a couple in the first flush of romance.

Pain stabbed through my heart.

Seeing that, even I couldn't fail to understand.

They were together.

I forced down the hurt and managed a strained smile.

“Of course.”

From the corner of my eye, I watched Xia Shen's face. His lashes lifted slightly, a bright smile flashing through his dark eyes. He tipped his chin at Lin Manman, looking pleased with himself.

“See? I wasn't lying. Tan Lu and I really are just friends. Buddies, that's all.”

He explained it again and again to the girl he loved, and each explanation made Lin Manman smile more happily.

I had never felt so awkward.

I'd liked Xia Shen for seven years.

He had been the light of my school days. I had never stopped pursuing him.

Yet in his eyes, all we had was friendship.

Watching their sweetness together, I almost thought I heard my heart break.

It had taken me seven years to build a castle with room for him alone.

Now it came crashing down.

2

A server brought me a glass of lemon tea. Cen Xi, who hadn't said a word since I'd sat down, suddenly turned to me, blushing.

“I ordered you lemon tea. That's what you like, isn't it?”

I stared at him, puzzled.

How did he know?

I knew he was Xia Shen's roommate, but we weren't close. Still, whenever we met, his face always seemed a little red, his expressions and movements especially nervous and awkward.

I had once teased Xia Shen about it.

“Your roommate Cen Xi is so big and strong. Why does he blush and get shy every time? The contrast is adorable.”

Xia Shen had merely smiled indifferently.

“Why are you so interested in him? Do you like him? Shall I introduce you?”

I had hurriedly waved the suggestion away and changed the subject.

Now Xia Shen gave a quiet laugh.

I was sitting right across from him, yet there was no trace of me in his deep eyes.

He shot Cen Xi a teasing look.

“He's asked me quite a lot about what you like…”

He raised his eyebrows at me.

I understood at once.

He was hinting that Cen Xi liked me.

Beside him, Lin Manman spoke in a half-joking tone.

“You certainly know a lot about Tan Lu's tastes.”

He rushed to explain.

“Not really. For a lot of it, I contacted an old schoolmate—Tan Lu's best friend from high school—and asked her.”

My face stiffened.

Only a few days earlier, my best friend from high school, Sisi, had texted me.

“Congratulations! After seven years of waiting, you've finally won Xia Shen over!”

“What are you talking about?” I'd asked, bewildered. “There's nothing between us yet.”

“How can there not be? He messaged me in the middle of the night yesterday with this enormous list of questions about everything you like. He must like you!”

I had nearly cried with happiness.

I'd thought my wait for Xia Shen was finally over.

But it had all been a ridiculous misunderstanding.

Beside me, Cen Xi drew a deep breath.

Then, summoning his courage, he looked at me with a flushed face.

“Tan Lu, I've liked you for a long time. Would you be my… my girlfriend?”

While he spoke, Xia Shen lowered his head, lifted his coffee, and took a small sip. Then he turned to Lin Manman and smiled.

His eyes were impossibly gentle.

I looked at Cen Xi.

His face was scarlet. His bright eyes were full of hope.

His hands trembled, and he could barely get his words out. Yet he waited patiently for my answer.

Something tight inside my chest suddenly loosened.

“Yes,” I told him.

Across the table, Xia Shen's smile faltered, surprise taking its place.

A moment later, he was smiling as before.

Cen Xi stared at me, wide-eyed.

“You… you said yes?”

My lips curved, and I laughed.

“Yes. I did.”

He was beside himself with joy. Turning straight to Xia Shen, he said, “Thanks! Without your encouragement, who knows how long it would've taken me to find the courage to ask her?”

I looked at Xia Shen in astonishment.

At last I understood.

He had never felt even the slightest romantic affection for me.

To keep Lin Manman from misunderstanding, he had encouraged Cen Xi to pursue me.

He had even gone to all the trouble of asking Sisi about my tastes for him.

Across from us, Lin Manman slipped her arm through Xia Shen's.

“Didn't we say we'd see a movie? It's starting soon. We should go.”

He smiled, briefly pressing his lips together.

“Right. It's time.”

She looked at Cen Xi and me.

“Congratulations, you two. Stay and talk. Xia Shen and I will head to the movie.”

They had only gone a few steps when Xia Shen turned back.

A faint smile still rested on his face. His look was hard to read: perhaps a little guilty, perhaps wishing me well.

He walked up to Cen Xi and clapped him on the shoulder.

“You lucky guy! Treat her well.”

“She's my girlfriend now,” Cen Xi said, smiling. “Of course I will.”

I picked up my lemon tea and took a sip.

Perhaps there was something wrong with it today.

It should have tasted tart.

Instead, it was strangely bitter.

3

Not long afterward, Cen Xi said he wanted to thank Xia Shen for bringing us together by taking him and his girlfriend out for a meal.

He found a Korean barbecue restaurant near campus and suggested we go there.

My chest tightened. I meant to ask him to choose somewhere else, but in the end I said nothing.

Xia Shen and Lin Manman arrived hand in hand, laughing and talking.

I looked at him in surprise.

I'd asked him out for barbecue before. His answer had been, “I hate places like that. You come out smelling of grease and smoke.”

As soon as Lin Manman entered, she said happily to Cen Xi, “I love meat, especially barbecue. It hasn't even started cooking, and I can already smell it.”

Beside her, Xia Shen followed her every movement with gentle eyes, his smile indulgent.

Suddenly, I understood.

He had come for her.

I could almost understand it: he hated the grease and smoke, but with someone he liked, he was perfectly willing to put up with it.

My chest ached dully, sour and bitter.

Only when the meat began to sizzle on the grill did I slowly come back to myself.

As soon as the first plate of pork belly was cooked, Cen Xi hurried to put several pieces on my plate.

“You eat first,” he said, smiling. “I'll cook some more.”

Across from us, Lin Manman looked at me enviously and pouted.

“Tan Lu, Cen Xi's so good to you!”

Xia Shen merely curved his lips.

His gaze passed over the meat on my plate, cool and indifferent. There seemed to be a trace of mockery and disdain in his smile.

He picked up a clean, crisp lettuce leaf and laid it on a plate.

Then he placed a piece of cooked pork belly on it and carefully brushed on a little sauce.

He folded the lettuce around the meat and pushed the plate toward Lin Manman.

His eyes softened as he smiled at her, his slender fingers slowly withdrawing from its edge.

Her lips curved, her whole face sweet with happiness.

“I knew you liked barbecue,” he said, “so I looked up how to do it before we came.”

She ate several bites without hesitation, and her eyes lit up.

“That's exactly the taste! It's so good!”

His gaze was utterly indulgent, his voice touched with a quiet smile.

“I'll make you some more. Go on and eat.”

Lin Manman really was a barbecue enthusiast.

Her eyes shone as she ate. Before long, tiny beads of sweat dotted her nose.

She was fair and pretty to begin with. Now, even with sweat on her nose and grease all over her little lips, she didn't look messy or unappealing. Somehow, it only made her cuter.

Xia Shen's smile never left his face.

“Can't you slow down? No one's going to steal it. Look at you—one barbecue meal and you've managed to get it all over your face!”