Chapter 5 What I Could Take with Me

I could not entrust everything to them.

Back in my courtyard, I sent the other maids away and kept only Qinghe.

She had been part of my dowry and had served me for seven years. Quiet, sensible, and thoroughly familiar with the workings of the household, she knew her place. She was the person I trusted most.

“Qinghe, I’m going to take Dalang to Nanshan Academy to study with Grand Tutor He.”

I sat by the window, running a finger over the silk stitching of my sleeve.

“The road is long. The journey itself will take a month. I want to bring people south with us.”

Qinghe looked up at me. She was not alarmed, only concerned.

“My lady, are you really going so far? Here in the capital, the household is there to look after you. Nanshan is a thousand miles away, with unfamiliar people and places. I fear it may be dangerous.”

I nodded.

“But if I stay here and face his taking a concubine every day, I won’t be able to bear it.

“I can’t divorce him. This is the only other way I can find.”

She immediately knelt.

“I’ll go with you, my lady.

“But we must choose the maids carefully—who to take, and who to leave behind.”

I agreed.

Those going with us had to be wholly loyal. I would not take anyone who might harbor doubts.

“I’ll leave that to you.”

Then I told her what I needed.

“First, people we can trust, who won’t secretly report to the household.

“Second, people with practical skills. On the road, they must be able to look after the carriage, count the supplies, and see to Dalang’s everyday needs.

“Third, someone who knows a little basic medicine. A long journey brings unfamiliar weather, and children fall ill easily.”

Qinghe considered.

“Of the maids, Xiaotao would be a good choice. She’s quick and deft, knows how to pack clothes and bedding, and can treat small cuts and bruises. We could bring her.

“The others all have families in the capital. Their hearts would be divided. They wouldn’t be suited to a long journey.

“Of the older servants, there are some we must certainly not take.”

I nodded.

“What about someone who can cook?”

“Matron Zhang is a good cook, and she knows how to make medicinal dishes. She could look after your meals on the road.

“But she has a grandson here. We must ask her first, rather than force her to go.”

“Then we also need someone who can read, handle money, and keep accounts for the monthly allowance and supplies the household sends.”

“Very well. I’ll ask them.”

“Take only those who want to go south. Anyone attached to their family and unwilling to leave the capital may stay. Don’t force them.

“I’ll reward everyone who comes with us generously.”

In managing a household, compulsion was the one thing to avoid.

If their hearts were unwilling, they could easily cause trouble on the road.

Qinghe withdrew to make the arrangements.

I sat looking out of the window.

Flowers still bloomed in the courtyard, and the carved railings were as lovely as ever.

To me, it had become a beautiful cage.

I wanted to take more than clothes and money.

I wanted people I could depend on to live.

As I sat thinking, a servant came to announce someone.

My husband’s steward had brought a thick account book.

“My lady, the heir has had a list made of the supplies for your journey south.

“Some of them have already been purchased. They’ll be ready for you and the young gentleman to use on the road.”

I asked him to leave it and opened the book.

The writing was neat, each item clearly listed.

* * *

First came clothing, food, and other everyday necessities.

There were linen clothes for the warmer weather and heavy winter garments for Dalang, blankets, bedding, pillows, and felt padding for the carriage.

Even toys to amuse him and ink, brushes, and paper for writing practice were listed.

Next came medicines.

Remedies for chills and colds, stomach pain, fever, and travel sickness, along with ingredients for nourishing meals. Nothing appeared to have been overlooked.

There were arrangements for healers and stations along the route, and for dried food, preserved meats, and fruit.

Then came the escort.

The duties of all ten guards were set out: who would drive, who would watch the road, who would keep track of news along the journey.

A final entry was especially careful.

The household had sent someone ahead to find us a house in Nanshan, not far from the academy.

Its spacious courtyard would give Dalang and me somewhere comfortable to live.

The household would send money, rice, and supplies each month.

As my fingers rested on the writing, I felt many things at once.

He was careful and considerate still.

From the padding in the carriage to Dalang’s meals, he had thought of more than I had.

Anyone reading this list would see how much he cared for me and for his legitimate eldest son.

The steward stood respectfully beside me.

“If there is anything else you need, my lady, please say so. The household will provide it.”

“The heir has also asked Grand Tutor He’s people to look after you on the journey, and requested that the Grand Tutor pay particular attention to the young gentleman.”

I closed the book and smiled faintly.

“Please thank him for me. I’ve read the list. Everything has been very thoughtfully arranged.

“There are only a few things I’d like to make clear.”

“Please, my lady.”