Chapter 6

“As long as my conscience is clear.

“Besides... saving you was worth it.”

What I'd really meant was that saving her was the right thing to do.

I hadn't imagined those few words would restore her hope.

We hadn't been close before, yet I'd willingly risked my life for her.

“So... you didn't deserve to die!”

Liang Bo's words struck like lightning.

I sat stunned for a long time, then made one last attempt.

“If not for me, then for the others involved... I helped your daughter too...”

“So what? Are you sure you genuinely wanted to help me?

“Do I need to remind you how you got your position as department head?”

That position should have been Liang Bo's.

I'd secretly altered his report and made him commit an error.

Then the job had fallen to me.

I wasn't a bad person.

Only a little selfish.

I always tried to make amends!

Suddenly, I remembered us rewatching Infernal Affairs a few years earlier.

I'd asked him, “If you were Tony Leung, would you give Andy Lau a chance?”

He hadn't hesitated.

“No.”

So today, he wouldn't give me one either.

21

“Can I ask you one last question?

“A while ago, I received a letter Huo Ran sent me ten years ago.”

The date on the envelope was the day before she died.

In it, she'd honestly explained why she'd been acting strangely during that period.

She'd written that she hoped by the time the letter was opened, she and Liang Bo would have a family of their own.

She'd even mentioned me, hoping the friendship between the three of us would never change.

She'd never mentioned my stealing the exam papers.

And she hadn't known the person who'd caused her depression was me.

“The girl I loved... died the night before she was going to accept my confession.”

If she'd really intended to kill herself, she wouldn't have sent a letter into the future.

From then on, Liang Bo began investigating.

At first, he'd never thought I was involved.

He'd even suspected students from another class.

Or that He Ze had sneaked out of the internet café without my knowledge.

In short, among the people who could never hurt Huo Ran, he'd always counted me.

That was why he'd staged the reunion.

“When I said someone pushed her off the roof, the moment you and He Ze looked at each other... I knew I'd been wrong.

“I'd underestimated you. Even though... I didn't want to believe it.

“I gave you a chance. Until I discovered you intended to kill me in the car.”

Fuck!

Was that my fault?

Hadn't they all forced me?

“How many years has she been dead? She might've been reincarnated countless times, and you still won't let it go. What's the point?

“What's the point?

“You keep saying you love Huo Ran. Haven't you married and had a child? Stop pretending. Neither of us is a saint!

“Here's an idea. Let me go. We'll split He Ze's money. You pay for your daughter's treatment. I run. Everyone's happy.”

Liang Bo looked at me as though I were beyond saving.

He went to the coffee table, picked up his phone, and held it in front of me.

He was livestreaming.

Every word I'd said had gone out.

I had nowhere left to run.

“Not only that. Your daughter, wife, and parents... they'll all be cursed because of you.”

He thought that would hurt.

It did.

But at least he couldn't kill me now.

Only then did I understand.

At the boundary between life and death, my wife, child, future, everything else...

Came second.

I shifted in the chair, trying to get comfortable.

Liang Bo ended the livestream and looked at me coldly.

“Who said that means I can't kill you?”

22

By the time the police sirens sounded, Lin Fu was no longer breathing.

I'd beaten him to death with my own hands.

His face was a mangled mass of flesh and blood.

If I hadn't exhausted myself, I might have smashed his skull with the chair too.

The sirens drew closer.

Flashing lights came into view.

I took Ranran's photograph from inside my clothes and looked at it one last time.

Then, without hesitation, I stepped into the roaring flames.

In my daze, I saw her nearby.

Arms open.

Waiting for me.

23

The girl I loved died the night before she was going to accept my confession.

She never even had the chance to share our first embrace.

24

The day Ranran's letter arrived was a Friday.

I opened it on the bus.

To pay for my daughter's treatment, I couldn't even bear the expense of driving.

I don't remember how long I sat there.

Only that the sky went from light to dark.

Until the last driver reminded me, “Time to get off.”

Only then did I come to my senses.

I tried to thank him.

No sound came out.

That was when I learned overwhelming grief really could take your voice away.

The evening before she wrote that letter, we'd had a fierce argument.

I'd found her suicide note.

I blamed her for not telling me she was under so much pressure.

“What right have you got to interfere?” she'd demanded.

After a few exchanges, I'd finally shouted, “I like you! I like you, all right?”

Since it was out, I decided to say everything.

“I've liked you for a long time. Will you be my girlfriend? Of course, you don't have to answer right away. Even if you say no, I'll still treat you well. We'll still be good neighbors. Ah... what I'm trying to say is... I like you.”

She stood frozen.

After a long time, she said, “I'll give you my answer the day after tomorrow.”

Then she turned and ran.

In the letter, she'd written clearly:

【Tomorrow evening, I'll say yes. You'd better treat me very well!】

She'd told me many other secrets too.

What had happened that night.

Her hopes for the future.

I knew her too well.

If she'd truly wanted to kill herself, she'd never have sent it.

What I hated most was that I'd told the police she'd really considered suicide.

Without that statement, her mother might have requested an autopsy.

Perhaps they'd have found the true cause of death.

My parents thought I'd become quiet after Huo Ran killed herself.

No one knew that all those years, I'd believed I'd driven her to it.

My confession.

The confession of the boy next door.

Had killed her.

Almost every night, I dreamed of her telling me again and again, “I don't like you. Can you stop pressuring me?”

She was dead.

My heart had died with her.

There were times I wanted to go and find her.

But I couldn't.

I still had to care for her parents in her place.

My responsibility.

My debt to her.

25

After university, through our elders, I met my current “wife.”

At our first arranged date, she was already pregnant.

She told me honestly she didn't want to deceive me.

She'd only come to placate her family.

Looking at that helpless yet strong woman, I thought of Ranran.

I could never truly love anyone again.

I might as well find someone to set my parents' minds at ease.

“If that man won't take responsibility,” I said, “why don't we get married?

“The person I love is gone. We can shelter each other.”

After we married, I dreamed of Ranran even more often.

In those dreams, she no longer rejected me.

She questioned me.

“Why did you marry? Didn't you say you loved me? Why did you marry another woman?”

I wanted to explain.

But every time I tried, I woke.

I saw a therapist.

He said dreams were often the opposite of reality.

It meant she loved me very much and was happy I'd found happiness.

But I knew that happiness was false.

The only person I'd ever loved was her.

Then I received the letter.

And decided to find her killers.

To avenge her.

Before I began, I contacted my daughter's biological mother.

She thanked me again and again.

She promised that even after taking the girl back, she'd still bring her to visit my parents often.

For my parents, I sold the house and bought an insurance policy, trying to leave them as much security as possible.

Then only one thing remained.

Revenge.

Fortunately, heaven still had some mercy.

Every plan went smoothly.

Now she was avenged.

I thought...

It was time...

To be reunited with her.

The End