Someone Is Waiting for Me at Home — Chapter 1

For twelve years, I endured my stepmother's cruelty and memorized more than a hundred household rules. I was only waiting for the day I married into a powerful family, so I could finally put everything I'd learned to use.

Who could have guessed that on the second day after my wedding, my stepson would clutch the corner of my quilt and look up at me to ask, “Mother, may I sleep with you tonight?”

Before I had a chance to soften, the entire household joined in to make him take the blame for stealing the examination questions for the young master.

I slammed the book The Proper Way to Train a Stepson onto the desk and smiled at everyone. “I'm the person who cares most about rules. Anyone who dares to wrong my child can leave this residence according to the rules. Does anyone object?”

1.

My name is Wen Zhi. Before I married, the thing my stepmother devoted herself to teaching me was how to become a properly cruel stepmother.

She said a child left behind by the principal wife was the most unpleasant thing to have around. Beat him too hard and outsiders would call you vicious; spoil him too much and you would have no peace later. The best approach was to bind him with household rules, make him examine himself every day and take the blame for everything, until he was afraid even to breathe too loudly in your presence.

She also gave me a copy of The Proper Way to Train a Stepson, which she had copied out by hand. It contained more than three hundred rules, from “Pay your respects at dawn and dusk without missing a single moment” to “A child who cries or makes a fuss must be punished with copying books.” She told me it was a skill my birth mother had left me. A woman about to marry, she said, needed this kind of ruthless heart.

I accepted the book and thanked her sincerely to her face.

The truth was, when my birth mother was alive, she was the best maker of padded winter coats in the southern part of the city. She often mended clothes for poor children and never used household rules to oppress anyone. My stepmother said she had died of illness. I never believed her. Even now, I remembered my mother's last words clearly: “Don't trust the Liu family.”

Unfortunately, my father owed the Lius a debt, and my stepmother married me off to Xie Huaichuan, the Grand Secretary of the dynasty.

People said Grand Secretary Xie was almost thirty, cold as a frost-covered sword, and had killed his first wife. He had only one son, who had just turned seven. The Liu family had agreed to send me there because they wanted me to take a place from my stepmother's niece, Liu Yanjing. Once I earned a bad reputation, Liu Yanjing would enter the household with her gentle, virtuous manner and clean up the mess.

Sitting in my bridal sedan, I opened The Proper Way to Train a Stepson to the first rule:

“A new bride must first establish her authority.”

I thought, Establishing authority was fine.

But I would decide for myself who that authority was meant to impress.

The Xie residence was quieter than I expected.

The red candles had burned halfway down before Xie Huaichuan returned from the palace. He wore a dark-blue official robe, his handsome brows and eyes cool and refined. As soon as he crossed the threshold, he cupped his hands to me.

“I let you suffer a slight today.”

I lifted my bridal veil, waiting for him to continue.

“A Yan is sensitive, and there are many matters in this household. If you don't want to manage them, I'll send for another matron.”

I understood at once.

He did not want me involved with his child, and he did not want me involved in the affairs of his household.

That was a blessing, really. I could enjoy leisure and respect, and there would be no shortage of money. Whoever wanted to be another person's mother could have the job.

Before I could nod, a faint sound came from behind the screen.

It was as if someone had stepped on a shard of broken porcelain.

Xie Huaichuan's expression darkened. He hurried around the screen.

A little dumpling of a child was curled up in the corner, wearing a newly made moon-white sleeping robe and not even a pair of shoes. His face was pale, and his small hand clutched an old peace jade pendant.

When he saw us, he immediately knelt.

“Father, A Yan wasn't eavesdropping on purpose. A Yan only wanted to see Mother.”

Then he hurriedly added, “If Mother doesn't like A Yan, A Yan will move to the western courtyard. I absolutely won't get in Mother's way.”

The more than three hundred rules in my head suddenly grew noisy.

I closed the book, walked over, and brushed the dust from his knees.

“Rule One: The floor is cold. You mustn't kneel on it,” I said.

The child stared blankly.

I turned to Xie Huaichuan. “Rule Two: A seven-year-old shouldn't have to learn to read adults' expressions.”

Xie Huaichuan's gaze rested on my face, as if this were the first time he had really looked at me.

I took Xie Yan's hand. His fingertips were icy, and he cautiously curled them into my palm.

“Rule Three: Now that you've called me Mother, if anyone hurts your feelings in the future, tell me first.”

His eyes reddened. He pressed his lips together and took a long moment before whispering, “Yes.”

I sighed inwardly.

For a child this well-behaved, the dragon-slaying skill I'd spent twelve years learning might have to be used against a pack of wolves instead.

2.

On the third day after my wedding, Xie Yan was punished by being made to stand outside the ancestral hall.

The one who had punished him was Old Madam Xie, Xie Huaichuan's paternal aunt.

She had lived in the Xie residence for ten years and held the keys to the inner household. She managed everything down to how many pages Xie Yan had to write each day and how many bites of rice he was allowed.

When I hurried over, a fine rain was falling.

Xie Yan stood ramrod straight, his back unbent, though one sleeve was soaked. A cracked blue-and-white porcelain cup lay at his feet.

Liu Yanjing stood beneath an umbrella, gently advising him. “A Yan, hurry and apologize to Old Madam. Your new mother has only just entered the household. It wouldn't be right for her to offend her elders over such a small matter.”

At the words “your mother,” I knew who the woman beneath the umbrella was.

Liu Yanjing was my stepmother's niece. She had a delicate face and liked to wear pale-colored clothes. She looked at Xie Yan with a little pity in her eyes, but a trace of smugness tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Old Madam sat beneath the corridor. The moment she saw me, she scolded, “Madam Wen, your timing is perfect. The child broke an imperial tea cup. If we don't punish him severely, how will he learn to conduct himself?”

I did not answer immediately. I crouched in front of Xie Yan and asked, “Did you break it?”

He lowered his head. “I did.”

“Look me in the eyes and say it.”

He raised his face. Fear filled his dark eyes, but he still forced out the words: “A Yan did it.”

I picked up a shard and examined it. A fresh ring of ink marked the bottom of the cup. Xie Yan's hands were clean, without a trace of ink. Liu Yanjing's fingertips, on the other hand, were stained blue-black beneath her sleeve.

I set the shard down and stood to salute Old Madam.

“Old Madam is quite right. A mistake must be punished.”

A spark flashed in Liu Yanjing's eyes.

I continued slowly, “But if the Xie family values its rules so much, we should first establish who actually broke them. A Yan lied just now, so he will copy the Admonitions for Young People ten times. As for the person who broke the cup and dared to push the blame onto a child, she will stand in the rain for two shichen and apologize to A Yan herself.”

Silence fell over the corridor.

Liu Yanjing's face turned white. “Cousin-in-law, I was only passing by. How could it have been me?”

“Then where did the ink on your sleeve come from?”

She instinctively clutched her sleeve.

I turned to the stewardess. “Bring all the maids from the tea room here. The records will show where the imperial porcelain is usually kept and who has touched it.”

“If we discover someone tried to establish her authority by using A Yan as a scapegoat, then the Xie family should let outsiders know what happens to people who use a child as a shield.”

Liu Yanjing finally panicked. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I… I only knocked it over by accident. I was afraid Aunt would punish me, so I asked A Yan to help me hide it.”

She made it sound as if Xie Yan had willingly taken the blame for her.

I looked at her. “You were afraid of punishment, so you let a seven-year-old stand in the rain?”

Liu Yanjing opened her mouth, but no words came.

Xie Yan tugged at my sleeve. “Mother, A Yan doesn't hurt.”

I bent down and stroked his head. “The fact that you aren't hurt doesn't mean the other person did nothing wrong.”

Old Madam Xie's expression was as ugly as it could be. She clearly wanted to bury the matter.

I held the broken cup before her. “This was bestowed by the Emperor. Your granddaughter-in-law doesn't dare decide on its own how to handle it. Shall we invite Grand Secretary Xie back and ask him what should be done?”

What Old Madam feared most was Xie Huaichuan interfering in the inner household. In the end, she could only sentence Liu Yanjing to kneel in the Buddhist hall for two hours.

The rain stopped.

Xie Yan stood outside the door holding the dry clothes I had ordered someone to bring him. He did not leave.

“Is something the matter?” I asked.

He took a warm pine-nut candy from inside his sleeve and placed it in my palm.

“This is A Yan's favorite candy.”

I unwrapped it, broke it in half, and put one half into his mouth.

“If there's something delicious, eat your own portion first. Mother won't steal candy from children.”

A soft cough suddenly sounded outside the door.

I did not know when Xie Huaichuan had arrived. Rainwater still clung to his shoulders.

“I heard about what happened today,” he said after looking at us for a long moment.

I thought he was going to accuse me of overstepping, so I spoke first. “If you think I punished her too harshly, you can shorten Liu's time by one quarter-hour. I will personally settle the remaining time with her.”

The corner of his mouth actually lifted.

“No need,” he said. “From today on, you may decide the rules of the Xie residence yourself.”

3.

I soon discovered that Xie Yan's obedience was not something he had been born with.

He ate only the dishes placed directly in front of him. If he had a nightmare, he never called for anyone. Even when he had a fever, he endured it until his face was burning before telling his pageboy, “It's nothing.”

He was afraid of troubling others, afraid of making a mistake, and even more afraid that everyone might suddenly stop liking him.

I replaced The Proper Way to Train a Stepson with A Yan's Survival Guide.

Rule One: If you're hungry, eat.

Rule Two: If you're sick, say so.

Rule Three: If someone forces you to take the blame for him, remember his face and tell me when you get home.

At first, Xie Yan refused to write anything. He said Old Madam had taught him that a gentleman had to learn to endure.

I asked, “If your father is wronged at court, will he endure it too?”

He thought seriously for a long time, then shook his head.

“Exactly. Endurance is what you do when there's no other way and you have to get through it. It's not an excuse for other people to bully you.”

From that day on, he began setting a small desk beside mine whenever he did his lessons.

I checked the household accounts; he worked on his studies.

Sometimes he brought me a sheet of paper to ask how to write a certain character. His voice grew louder, too.

Xie Huaichuan returned very late, but he always passed by the study to look in.

Once, Xie Yan fell asleep face-down on his desk, half a page of essays pressed against his cheek. Xie Huaichuan tried to carry him back to his room, but I stopped him.

“Turn the lamp down first. He's been sleeping poorly lately.”

Xie Huaichuan did as I said, so awkwardly it was almost funny. He turned the lamp down until only a tiny flame remained, leaving the study darker than before.

I could not help laughing. “My lord, are you afraid the lamp will see him sleeping?”

The tips of his ears reddened. After a long silence, he said, “I'm not good at this sort of thing.”

“Then learn.”

I handed him the thin quilt that had been covering Xie Yan.

“A father has lessons to learn too.”

He took it and answered seriously.

A few days later, the Imperial College held its early-spring examination.

Xie Yan, Prince Xiao Jingheng, and Liu Ting'an, Liu Yanjing's younger brother, had an altercation at the Minglun Hall. Xiao Jingheng was two years older than Xie Yan and liked to order people around, relying on his status as a prince. He and Liu Ting'an both insisted that Xie Yan had copied Liu Ting'an's essay.

By the time word reached the residence, Xie Yan had been detained at the college while the director and several teachers examined the matter.

Old Madam was so anxious she kept pounding the table. “I told you long ago he shouldn't compete with those nobles! Now look, he's disgraced the entire Grand Secretary's residence.”

I tightened the sash of my cloak and turned toward the door.

Behind me, she shouted, “Madam Wen, where are you going?”

I did not look back.

“To bring home the dignity they took from my child. And to ask which person threw his own face on the ground for someone to step on.”