Chapter 9

“Elder Cousin Huaijin told me something before he died.”

“What was it?”

He said, “‘If someone ever brings Father a land deed, help them—whether they’re a man or a woman, young or old.’”

My hand holding the wine cup stopped.

“He was waiting for me.”

“He was waiting for you. He didn’t know whether you were a boy or a girl, what you would look like when you grew up, or even whether you’d live to adulthood. But he knew that if you came here with that deed, you must have found a clue to the truth.”

Pei Yuanbai looked at me. “I’ve been at the Hanlin Academy for six years and haven’t been promoted once. It isn’t because I’m incapable. I’ve been waiting all this time.”

“For what?”

“For you to come.”

I tipped my head back and drained my cup.

It burned.

But it was warm, too.

“Pei Yuanbai, you’re an honest man.”

“I’m not honest. I just made a promise to someone who was dying.”

“Then you’ve repaid your debt now.”

He shook his head. “Not yet. Elder Cousin Huaijin told me to help you—not merely help you uncover the truth.”

“What else did he ask you to do?”

“He said, ‘If that person doesn’t want to stay with the Pei family…’” Pei Yuanbai paused, as if recalling Huaijin’s exact words. “‘Then see her off on my behalf. Take her wherever she wants to go.’”

My nose stung again.

This time I couldn’t hold back.

Tears fell straight into my empty wine cup.

The next day.

I strapped my bundle to my back and stood before the main gate of the Grand Preceptor’s residence.

Pei Yanchu came out to see me off in person.

The Grand Preceptor’s wife didn’t come.

But as I passed the main courtyard, I saw the door of the Buddhist shrine standing ajar. The eternal lamp inside was burning again.

Matron Zhou waited by the side gate. She handed me a parcel wrapped in oiled paper.

“Osmanthus-scented lotus root stuffed with glutinous rice. I told the kitchen to make it the way you showed me. There are little pieces of red date inside. Eat it if you get hungry on the road.”

I took it with a laugh. “Matron, shall I read your fortune again?”

“What fortune?”

“I’ll predict when you’ll finally be at ease.”

I counted on my fingers. “From today onward, you can rest easy.”

Matron Zhou’s eyes reddened, but she waved her hand with a smile. “Your readings are just as inaccurate as your father’s.”

“Then pretend my father asked me to read it for you. His fortunes may be wrong, but his intentions are good.”

Pei Yuanbai waited outside the gate with a horse.

“I told you there was no need to see me off.”

“I have to carry out Elder Cousin Huaijin’s promise properly. I’ll see you to the city gate.”

Pei Yanchu stood on the steps and looked at me.

He didn’t cry.

He only said, “Qingping, if you ever pass through the capital again…”

“Just come for a meal,” I finished for him. “But the accounts I settle are for fortune-telling, not for claiming kinship.”

Pei Yanchu laughed.

He truly laughed.

It was probably the first time he’d smiled during all the days I’d spent at the Grand Preceptor’s residence.

Pei Yuanbai saw me to the city gate.

There, he handed me the reins.

“This horse used to belong to Elder Cousin Huaijin. It’s old and can’t run fast, but it has a gentle temper and doesn’t bite.”

“If you give me the horse, how will you get back?”

“I’ll walk.” He said it as if it were obvious. “I walk back to the Pei residence from the Hanlin Academy every day. I’m used to it.”

“Pei Yuanbai, have you ever thought of leaving the Hanlin Academy?”

“I have. But I can’t yet. My uncle is getting old. The Pei family needs someone with a place at court.”

I nodded.

He might call himself a distant cousin, but in truth he was shouldering the entire Grand Preceptor’s household as if it were his own family.

Pei Huaijin had judged him well.

“Then I’m off.”

“Where are you going?”

I swung up onto the horse and looked back at the city gate.

The banner above it snapped in the wind.

“Father once said the farthest he’d ever traveled was to Shu. There’s a small town in Shu called Heming, and in that town there’s a temple called Qingfeng Temple. He said that was where he learned Taoism.”

“Although what he learned there wasn’t much good.”

“But I want to go and see it.”

Pei Yuanbai stood beneath the city gate and looked up at me on horseback.

The sunlight cast his shadow long across the ground.

“Qingfeng Temple. I’ll remember that.”

“Why bother?”

“If my uncle ever misses you, I’ll know where to go looking.”

“He won’t miss me. He’ll miss Lingge.”

“What about me, then?”

He spoke very softly.

So softly that I almost mistook it for the wind.

I didn’t answer.

I only smiled and lightly nudged the horse.

It ambled forward.

It really was old. It couldn’t run fast.

But its steps were steady.

Just as Father had taught me—

It doesn’t matter if you can’t run fast. What matters is that you keep your footing.

Keep walking, and you’ll get there.

The day I left the capital was beautiful.

Blue sky, white clouds, and green wheat fields on either side of the road, their ears just beginning to fill.

I rode along, eating the osmanthus-scented lotus root Matron Zhou had given me.

The sweetness of the broken red dates melted in my mouth.

It tasted exactly like Father’s cooking.

I suddenly remembered what Father had said before he died.