Chapter 1

My dad was a dyed-blond troublemaker, and my mom was the “girlboss type.”

When I was six, they suddenly discovered that I was the heroine of a tragic web novel.

Dad slammed a hand on the table.

“Our daughter has to be the heroine of a feel-good story!”

Mom clenched her fists. “We have to give her several tall, handsome older brothers who’ll spoil her rotten!”

Me: ?

1

After my parents found out I was the heroine of a tragic story, the way they looked at me changed completely.

Their eyes held both concern and a touch of awe.

“I had no idea our three-bedroom, one-living-room home was hiding such a formidable talent.”

Dad, a cigarette between his lips, corrected her. “It’s a two-and-a-half-bedroom place.”

Mom looked away and sighed again. “Old Lin, our daughter is as beautiful as a fairy and so delicate. She’s clearly the kind of pure-hearted first love a Buddhist young master from Beijing’s wealthy circles would fall for. But those first loves always have tragic fates. What are we going to do?”

“No way!”

Dad thought for a moment, then slapped the table.

“Our daughter has to be the heroine of a feel-good story!”

“I agree!” Mom clenched her fists. “We need to give her several tall, handsome, dominant older brothers who’ll love her to pieces!”

I was sitting beside the bed doing homework. Me: ?

Could you two turn off that Tomato Novel playing out loud first?

Luckily, Dad hadn’t completely lost his mind. He said that if they had another child now, it could only be a younger brother.

Mom immediately looked disappointed. “A younger brother wouldn’t be good. He’d team up with outsiders to bully his big sister. You know those stories about the real and fake heiresses, right?”

“What about a younger sister?”

“Even worse! She’d steal her sister’s fiancé and sell her off!”

“Looks like we’ll have to find another way.”

While they were thinking, I finished my homework.

They checked it. Every answer was right.

I’d even caught a few mistakes in the test questions.

Dad slapped his forehead. “Honey, our daughter’s a genius. Could she be the legendary—Phoenix Proud Heaven?!”

“That makes sense…” Mom murmured. “No wonder she was reborn into our family. This has to be a poor-family comeback story.”

So in their eyes, I went from the tragic heroine to the overpowered heroine of a no-brainer wish-fulfillment novel.

My parents decided not to give me an older brother after all.

They wanted to send me to a top university—Tsinghua or Peking University—so I could make them proud and marry into a wealthy family.

But there was one problem—

How did you even take the college entrance exam?

2

My parents had never seen a college entrance exam room.

One was a bleached-haired factory worker who’d dropped out of high school.

The other was a girl from a hair salon who’d gone to vocational school.

They’d fallen in love at first sight, and I’d arrived before they got married.

Their favorite pastimes, aside from listening to Tomato web novels, were doing finger dances together on Douyin.

You could say they had nothing to do with feel-good fiction.

One day, I came home from school and found them arguing.

Mom pointed at Dad. “You should quit smoking first! The money you’d save in a year could take the whole family to Disneyland.”

Dad protested. “Then you can’t get your nails done anymore either. What you spend on manicures every week could buy new clothes for our darling.”

It turned out Mom had been reading melodramatic period dramas lately and suddenly wanted to open a shop.

But she needed startup capital and was trying to figure out where to get the money.

“Wait. Why do you have to open a shop?”

“Because your dad and I thought about it. Heroines like Phoenix Proud Heaven are beautiful, clever, and rich. You’re already beautiful and clever. You’re only missing the money.”

As she spoke, Mom gazed wistfully at her colorful manicure.

“If you really want to start a business, Dad has to stop smoking, and Mom has to stop getting her nails done for a while.”

“Why?!” they cried in unison.

“Because I’m the heroine. You have to listen to me.”

I straightened my back.

“Boo-hoo…”

The couple mourned into their handkerchiefs for a while, then reluctantly gave in.

For the first time, I felt the heroine’s aura of a feel-good story. Even my dizziness seemed to ease.

After my parents “turned over a new leaf,” people around them started whispering.

Mom stopped going to the nail salon with the aunties after work. They laughed with fake sweetness.

“Oh my, Ms. Su, you’re finally saving money and taking care of your family. So virtuous!”

Dad started using toothpicks instead of cigarettes. His coworkers rolled their eyes.

“Look at you pretending. I bet you won’t last two days.”

I encouraged my parents. “Do you know what makes a protagonist a protagonist? They never follow the crowd. A hero’s path is always a lonely one.”

Their eyes filled with tears. “That’s right. We’re brave heroines.”

More than half a year later, they finally saved enough startup money and opened a tiny breakfast shop.

To be honest, Mom was a wonderful cook, but none of us knew anything about running a business.

Then Dad rolled up his sleeves and pulled a book out from under the coffee table…

A web novel set in another world.

“I’ve been following this author for years. They describe everything in such detail—from choosing a location and decorating to buying supplies and running the business. It’s more useful than a textbook.”

“You don’t understand actual textbooks,” Mom called him out.

Dad blushed and muttered, “I used to be top of my class when I was little… I only had to drop out because things happened at home.”

Anyway, that was how our family business got started.

We didn’t know whether it would make money, but I was happy.

The shop was right under our old apartment building, so I could see my parents every day on my way to and from school. I could cling to them during holidays too.

I didn’t have to sit alone, staring into space for half a day anymore.

Running a small business wasn’t easy. My parents were always rushing around, and I helped whenever I had free time.

Mom was constantly hurrying me away.

“Oh, what are you doing?”

“You’re going to marry into a wealthy family someday. Don’t waste your time stuck in the kitchen like me.”

I laughed helplessly. “Mom, there aren’t that many wealthy families in the world.”

In response, my parents teamed up to scold me.

I behaved after that.

One evening, I was doing my homework on a little stool when I heard them whispering behind me.

“Our daughter’s hands are so pretty. It would be a shame if they were scarred like yours.”

“Don’t move. I haven’t finished applying this part yet…”

“You’re so slow.”

“Your hands are pretty too, honey.”

Tsk.

My family was so poor that all we had left was love.

As it turned out, opening the breakfast shop had been the right decision.

Our place was busy, and there wasn’t any competition nearby.

On top of that, Mom’s steamed buns really were delicious. Word spread around the neighborhood, and we started making a profit before long.

I did the math. Our net income had doubled compared with what my parents used to earn working for others.

Dad was so moved he cried. That night, he stayed up writing a thousand-word review for the author.

Once we had money, the next step was to spend it.

My parents still wanted to spend it on me.

But they couldn’t agree on whether I should learn a craft or take up martial arts.

One day, I slowly walked out of my room, clutching my head.

“Take me to the hospital first.”

Then I collapsed to the floor with a thud.