Chapter 2

One kick sent the covers tumbling onto the floor, and I sprang out of bed.

Big Brother would be leaving soon!

Barefoot, I raced out of my room and stopped by a floor-to-ceiling window. Settling onto the floor, I cautiously lifted a corner of the embroidered beige curtain.

Morning sunlight struck my eyes. One hand stayed on the curtain while the other shielded my face.

Outside, Dad and Big Brother were walking toward the gate together. Only their backs were visible: crisp black suits, not a hair out of place. Down the steps they went, each getting into his own car. First they vanished from view, then their cars followed.

Poor me, left watching them go. Without even noticing, I’d craned my neck out like a giraffe.

“Bye, Mom!”

My sister’s voice. So ladylike, just as everyone always said.

Looking down, I saw her smile and kiss Mom’s right cheek—the very spot I’d kissed yesterday.

Anger flared inside me.

Mom smiled happily. Then came something even worse: she kissed my sister’s right cheek in return.

She hadn’t kissed me yesterday!

They exchanged a knowing smile. Such a warm, cozy little scene, just like the morning sunlight on my face.

My fist came down hard on the floor. What else was I supposed to do with all that frustration?

Then I scrambled up and stormed downstairs.

Mom had just seen my sister off and was coming back inside when we met.

“You’re up early!” she said in surprise.

A glare was all she got. The urge to yell at her was strong, but a bite of my lip kept it in check. I did know how to respect my elders, after all.

Straight to the dining table I went. Up came a glass of milk, down went a few gulps—and then it hit me.

My teeth. I hadn’t brushed them.

The whole mouthful came spraying out. Milk splattered over the food on the table. Furious, I flung the glass at the wall, where it shattered with a crash.

Mom froze. So did Mrs. Zhuang and Auntie Lan.

“What’s the matter now?” Mom finally asked.

The other two wouldn’t come anywhere near me.

“You know perfectly well!”

With a stamp of my foot, I ran back upstairs.

Back in my room, every thought made me angrier. I sank into a crouch against the wall and cried, feeling terribly wronged. After a little while, the cold began to creep in.

Mom hurried in soon afterward. She’d come with a stern expression, but the sight of me crying so hard turned it to concern.

“Yijun, what’s wrong? Tell Mom, sweetheart.”

“You’re a horrible mom!”

That was supposed to be a shout. Unfortunately, all the crying had left my voice barely working. So much for deafening her.

“What have I done, my little darling? You know how much I love you.”

“You love her most. I saw you.”

“What?”

She looked utterly bewildered.

“You’re both grown women! Don’t you find all that kissing disgusting?”

Mom laughed.

“Oh, you silly girl. She’s your own sister! Honestly, what am I going to do with you? Stop being so jealous of her. She loves you.”

“Hmph!”

More tears, more wiping them away.

“All right, all right. I’m a horrible mom. I’m sorry. Don’t be angry anymore.”

Auntie Lan and Mrs. Zhuang stood outside, peeking into the room.

“I’m eating in here. Tell Mrs. Zhuang to bring my breakfast up. And I’m sleepy, so I’m going back to bed. Nobody’s to disturb me.”

That settled, I gathered up the covers from the floor, climbed into bed and pulled them over my head.

“Madam, is she all right?”

“She’s fine. Just leave her be. Mrs. Zhuang, bring up some breakfast, please. Be careful not to wake her.”

Mom was a woman of firm principles—except where I was concerned. What could she do? I was Dad’s only daughter and her youngest. Everyone knew parents tended to favor their youngest children.

Sleep soon took me.

Then Tong Xueyou appeared.

Mom held her, smiling. Dad held her, smiling. Even my beloved Big Brother had his arms around her.

They were all smiling at me.

“Mom… Dad… Big Brother… Big Brother… Come back… Come back…”

“Come back…”

The words woke me from the nightmare.

When had these dreams started? I couldn’t remember. But they came often now.

After getting up and washing, I asked Mrs. Zhuang to pack two lunches. Big Brother was getting a visit from me at noon.

There was still plenty of time before the lunch break when I reached Feifan Bank’s head office. His secretary told me he was out.

“When will he be back?”

“He should be back soon.”

“Good.”

In his office, I settled into a chair and rocked happily from side to side. Just imagine how pleased he’d be to see me there with his lunch!

His desk was perfectly tidy. So like him. Even the desk was lovable. The whole office was, really.

Waiting was a pleasure for once. Back and forth I wandered, picturing the surprise on his face.

Then something on his desk caught my eye: a photo frame, turned away from me. Curious, I went over and picked it up.

A sharp crack.

The frame was on the floor, a long fracture running across the glass.

No. That couldn’t be right.

My whole body began to shake. Surely my eyes were playing tricks on me. Yes, that had to be it.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

A few deep breaths, then I slowly crouched down and retrieved the frame with trembling hands.

The crack cut across their bodies. Their faces, though, were perfectly clear.

Our backyard. Big Brother standing behind Tong Xueyou, his arms around her. Both smiling at the camera, looking so sweet together they might as well have been dripping honey.

Just like my dream.

Panic took hold. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and the frame went crashing to the floor again.

His secretary rushed in, her eyes wide with alarm.

“What are you looking at? Get out!”

One fierce glare sent her away. The door closed, leaving me to cry.

“Tong Xueyou, I hate you. I hate you!”

Then, in a fit of rage, I smashed both lunch boxes.

“Yijun…”

Big Brother came rushing in a little later, out of breath. His secretary must have told him what was happening.

His gaze moved over the shattered frame and the ruined food. Then he spoke as though he didn’t know the reason.

“Lost your temper again? What a shame. Mrs. Zhuang must have put a lot of work into those lunches. You came all this way to bring them, and now they’re all over the floor.”

“Big Brother…” The words caught between sobs. “You like her… don’t you?”

“Don’t you like your sister? She’s so—”

“Enough! I don’t want to hear it. How can you like her? What about me?”

“Yijun…”

His hands rested on my shoulders. Even now, he was so patient, so gentle.

“I still love you just as much as I always have. That won’t change, no matter who I fall in love with, who I become friends with, or even who I marry someday.”

“Are you going to be with Tong Xueyou?”

He looked at me and nodded, his gaze steady.

“Do Mom and Dad know?”

“Yes.”

My mouth fell open.

“They’re letting you two be together?”

Another nod.

“So you’ve all been keeping this from me! Every single one of you! What do you take me for, an idiot?”

Anger surged up again, and I shouted at him.

“Yijun, calm down. I told you, I love you just the same. I’m still your big brother. Your sister and I will always love you.”

“I don’t want that kind of love! If you love her, you won’t love me anymore. Is Tong Xueyou really so wonderful? Why do you have to like her too?”

“Your sister is a very understanding person. You’ve pushed her away ever since you were little, but she’s never held it against you. She’s been a good sister to you.”

“Big Brother…”

“Yijun, please. Stop this. I’m asking you, and you know I hardly ever ask you for anything. If you need someone to blame, blame me. If you’re angry, take it out on me. Just don’t blame your sister. If you want to hit someone, hit me.”

My right hand rose.

But this was Big Brother. The person I loved and admired most. How could I hit him?

Slowly, my hand fell back to my side. After one last resentful look at him, I ran home, heartbroken.