Chapter 2: Medical Treatment Is Justice...!?

I took another good look at Kameyama-kun’s drawing.
It was a kissing scene.
It was still only a rough sketch, but Oda Nobunaga and the protagonist were pressed pretty tightly against each other.
The protagonist’s—meaning my—ample breasts were squashed against Nobunaga’s armor.
It was disturbingly realistic.
And these two weren’t just kissing.
There was tongue involved.
G-G-G-GYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
I never wrote anything about tongues!
What the hell are you doing, adding your own overblown fantasies?!
...Although, yeah.
If it was Oda Nobunaga, I could totally imagine him using tongue.
Historically, he wasn’t nearly as much of a tyrant as people make him out to be, but since I’d deliberately exaggerated him into an overbearing, hot alpha-male type, he would absolutely go for tongue.
But still!
Still...!
Do you normally draw something like that right in front of the girl you’re supposedly about to have your first kiss with?!
Not that I had any intention of kissing him.
Uuuugh.
Even as a rough sketch, it looked incredibly real.
The armor had weight to it.
You could almost intuitively tell how it moved.
There was no way you could draw something like this without knowing which parts connected to which and where all the cords were tied.
It was the culmination of knowledge and technique.
I had no idea you could communicate this much with nothing but lines.
Wait.
Now that I looked closer—
Nobunaga was touching her butt.
He was totally stroking the protagonist’s—my—butt.
Wasn’t this kind of erotic?
Kameyama-kun was drawing an erotic picture with the most serious expression imaginable.
Wait.
Could it be...
Kameyama-kun wasn’t a virgin?
Had he actually... done it before?
No, no, no.
He’d never given off that kind of vibe at all.
The Kameyama-kun from a year ago had been the definition of ordinary in class, and I’d only ever seen him talking with male friends.
There was no way he had a girlfriend.
If he did, the girls’ boyfriend-girlfriend information network would have picked it up.
And since it hadn’t...
He was probably a virgin.
Being able to draw something erotic didn’t automatically mean he had experience.
Right?
Although...
He could have done it back in middle school.
If that was the case, our school’s glorious girls’ relationship-information network would be completely useless.
Kameyama-kun had been so far off my radar that I’d never researched him at all.
Not that I normally had anyone on my radar or anything.
Judging by how good he was at drawing, he’d probably been doing it since middle school.
I wanted to believe the theory that he’d been too absorbed in art to have a girlfriend.
But the art club had a pretty high percentage of girls...
And could someone who worked this hard for another person really have gone this long without a girlfriend?
Plus, there was an entire year in the future that I had no way of checking!
Ahhh!
My optimistic assumptions were collapsing one after another!
And now part of me was actually starting to believe he really had come from the future!
I’m being fooled!
I’m totally being fooled!
Wait.
What did I mean, I want to believe he was too absorbed in art to have a girlfriend?
Hey!
Hey, me!
Whether Kameyama-kun was a virgin or not had absolutely nothing to do with me!
So why did I care this much?!
Ngggggggh.
I cared so much I couldn’t stand it!
I need to know!
It was my right to know.
Yes!
A right!
I hereby invoke my rights!
If you were going to kiss someone, you had the right to know whether it was their first time too.
Exactly.
That made perfect sense.
If I was giving him my first kiss, then I should at least know whether I was getting his too!
Except I’M NOT KISSING HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
WHY AM I ALREADY THINKING LIKE I’M GOING TO GIVE HIM MY FIRST KISSSSSSSSS?!
Ahhh...
I wonder who Kameyama-kun did it with.
Not that I cared.
It had nothing to do with me.
But who did he do sexy stuff with?
Was it someone I knew?
Someone I didn’t?
Please let it be someone I didn’t know.
No!
Actually, I hated both options!
I didn’t know why, but I hated them!
I just did!
Gah!
What the hell is wrong with this?!
Seriously!
Unbelievable!
...Why was I getting angry at a girl who might not even exist?
But, but, but, but!
Think about it.
The protagonist in this picture—meaning me—was currently having her butt touched.
Nobunaga was kissing her while touching her butt.
So.
Was Kameyama-kun imagining what it would be like to touch a butt?
That was the important question here.
If it was purely his imagination, then fine.
Something about that still felt wrong, but for now—
Fine.
Way better than the alternative.
If he was drawing this based on experience with another girl, though...
Absolutely unacceptable.
Death penalty.
I would kill him.
I would make sure he could never do anything sexual ever again.
I was completely serious.
Mom. Dad.
Thank you for raising me all these years.
Your daughter is a sweet sixteen-year-old maiden in the bloom of youth.
And today, I will drive a pencil into the urethra of the boy I love.
I SAID I DON’T LOVE HIM!
Get a grip, me!
Using experience with some other girl to draw me...
Wasn’t that basically NTR?
No.
Okay.
Maybe it wasn’t NTR.
But the feeling was close!
I hated it.
I really hated it.
I couldn’t even put it into words!
And I write novels!
I don’t know!
I don’t know why, but it feels like my soul is being defiled!
Uuuugh.
None of this makes any sense.
What happened to my vocabulary...?
No.
It wasn’t my vocabulary.
It was my emotions.
My heart was the problem.
It had been swinging up and down so violently that everything inside my head had turned into a mess.
Was I...
maybe kind of a high-maintenance girl?
I wanted to talk to Kameyama-kun right now.
I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to say yet, but I wanted to talk to him.
No.
Hold on.
I should obviously sort out my thoughts before talking to him.
Okay.
Let’s organize this.
Organize.
What did I actually want to ask?
Right.
Have you ever had sex?
LIKE I COULD ASK HIM THAT, YOU IDIOTTTTTTTTT!!!
But!
I couldn’t allow him to draw me based on his experience with some other girl!
Absolutely not!
I had to find out whether that was true.
Actually, at the very least, he would need my permission!
If you were going to use your experiences with another girl to draw someone, you should ask that person first!
Exactly!
Permission!
Permission was required!
“Kameyama-kun, um... there’s something I want to ask you.”
“...”
“Um, Kameyama-kun?”
I shook his shoulder.
“Kameyama-kuuun!”
I shook him harder.
Back and forth.
He still didn’t come back.
Could someone seriously concentrate this hard?
Wasn’t there something slightly wrong with this guy?
“Come back to realityyy. I’m going to stick a pencil in your urethraaa.”
I slapped his cheek a few times.
Kameyama-kun kept drawing with an expression of terrifying concentration.
Now that I was looking closely at his face...
He was actually kind of handsome.
Maybe.
Apparently the working really hard at something buff was ridiculously powerful.
This guy was supposedly trying to stop the collapse of the world with a kiss—
not that I believed him—
so why was he completely obsessed with drawing pictures from my novel?
Nggggghhhh.
The fact that he was drawing something based on my work suddenly became embarrassing all over again.
UOOOOOOOH!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Why was I screaming like somebody from Dragon B—?!
I wasn’t a Super S—yan!
He wasn’t going to tell me that I needed to kiss him to bring his consciousness back to reality, was he?
Was this Snow White now?
Wake him up with a kiss?
Was that where this was going?
No, no.
He didn’t need a kiss.
He needed a doctor.
His ability to concentrate had broken straight through the normal human limit.
This was obviously abnormal.
Maybe he had some kind of medical condition.
Although...
If I called a doctor, I really didn’t want them seeing this picture.
I had a tongue in my mouth and someone squeezing my butt.
A minute ago Nobunaga had only been stroking it, but Kameyama-kun had added more detail and now he was definitely squeezing.
What if he just kept drawing and never regained consciousness...?
I’d heard that some people with extraordinary powers of concentration could think so deeply that they lost touch with reality.
Or maybe I hadn’t.
Either way.
Would a kiss bring someone back before that happened?
As a medical procedure?
Artificial respiration had turned into someone’s first kiss plenty of times in dramas.
Though honestly, the terror of the situation would probably outweigh any romantic feelings.
If a life was on the line, you had to throw away things like a maiden’s feelings and pride.
Obviously saving the person in front of you came first.
But that would mean sacrificing the one line you never wanted to cross—
your first kiss.
I really hoped I never ended up in a situation like that.
Preferably ever.
Maybe I really should take Kameyama-kun to a hospital.
What if he never came back?
No.
Actually, probably not.
My novel did have a proper ending, after all.
Kameyama-kun might draw another picture after this one, but considering how little of the story remained, the next picture after the kissing scene would probably be the last.
Once he ran out of material to draw, he should naturally come back to reality.
I’d wait.
Modern people needed to learn how to give things time.
For some reason my phone wasn’t in my pocket, so I had absolutely no way to kill time, but still.
I’d wait.
Now then...
What scene came next?
If I remembered correctly, the final scene was Nobunaga and the protagonist entering the bedroom and having sex.
...
I HAVE TO BRING THIS GUY BACK RIGHT NOW.
“SNAP OUT OF IIIIIIIT!”
Divine punishment by fist.
I punched Kameyama-kun straight in the face.
“BWOAH!”
He toppled off his chair.
“H-Huh... Nobunaga...?”
Even sprawled across the floor, Kameyama-kun was still somewhere in another dimension.
“Please! Come back to reality!”
One more to the stomach!
Emergency-resuscitation punch!
“GUAAAH!”
Kameyama-kun cried out as my fist hit his stomach.
This was medical treatment!
Same basic principle as CPR!
If someone might never regain consciousness, you had to wake them up somehow.
Sometimes that meant opening their clothes and exposing their chest.
If that was acceptable, then being punched was obviously acceptable too!
Perfect logic!
UOOOOH!
JUSTICE!
I AM JUSTICE!
“I-I’m awake! I’m conscious! Stop hitting me!”
Kameyama-kun thrust both hands out in front of himself, desperately trying to stop me.
“Are you okay?! Stay with me! How many fingers am I holding up?”
“ZERO! YOU’RE MAKING A FIST! WHO ASKS THAT WHILE HOLDING UP A FIST?!”
Once I confirmed that he could communicate properly, I lowered the fist I had raised.
Phew.
Kameyama-kun got back to his feet, lightly brushed the dust from his clothes, and sat down again.
“Thank goodness. I thought you might never come back.”
And then he would’ve drawn me naked.
Disaster successfully prevented.
Now that Kameyama-kun was awake...
What was I going to do again?
I had definitely been thinking about something.
Oh!
Right!
“There’s something I want to ask you. Kameyama-kun, have you ever... s-se... se... se...”
“Hm? Se?”
“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
“WHAT?!”
Out of sheer embarrassment, I screamed like somebody from Dragon B— again.
THIS IS WAY TOO HARD TO ASK!!!
Was asking a boy about this always such a terrifying hurdle?!
There was no way I could look a boy I had basically just met in the face and say:
Have you ever had sex? Are you a virgin?
Any girl brave enough to pull that off was probably already out there fighting evil as a Pretty C—.
Kicking monsters while wearing heels that looked completely unsuitable for combat.
Calm down, me.
Today was the first time I’d ever had a real conversation with this boy.
Of course it was difficult to ask.
Actually, if I did ask him, there was approximately a hundred percent chance he would be creeped out.
I looked down at the unfinished drawing.
It was still just a rough sketch, but even an amateur like me could tell it was genuinely good.
Realistic, while also knowing exactly where to exaggerate.
Right.
This.
This was why I wanted to ask in the first place.
I pointed at the picture.
“This! There’s a lot here that’s... um... not actually written in the novel. You know? Like... this?”
“Oh. Yeah, you’re right.”
Kameyama-kun nodded as though he understood exactly what I meant.
Not even the slightest trace of embarrassment crossed his face.
Wait.
Had this guy actually done it?
He looked way too comfortable.
Like, Sexual stuff is perfectly normal to me. There’s nothing worth making a big deal about.
“That sort of thing works better if you exaggerate it a little. A picture contains less information than reality, so if you don’t increase the impact, it can be hard to get the feeling across.”
“Impact. Right.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re surprisingly good at drawing women’s bodies.”
“Thanks. I’ve practiced quite a lot. Studied references and stuff. There are anatomy books made for artists, you know. I learned the human body mostly by copying those. It’s not like I could exactly study a real one.”
“You’ve never... seen a real one?”
“Of course not.”
Ooooooooooooooooooooooh.
I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
So you haven’tttttttttttttttt.
It wasn’t NTR.
Thank goodness.
Not that it could have been NTR in the first place, since we weren’t even dating.
“And this kiss... I don’t know how to put it, but it’s really... intense. And realistic. It’s still just a sketch, but I can already tell it’s going to be an amazing drawing. Is this all imagination too?”
The area where their lips met had far more detail than anything around it.
You could tell he was putting special effort into that part.
“This is... well...”
Kameyama-kun’s eyebrows tilted awkwardly.
He looked like he didn’t quite know how to answer.
Hm?
Well?
What did well mean?
What?
What what what what what?
W?
What?
W?
What?
W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W?!
Had he kissed someone before?
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey HEYYYYYYYY?!
Who?!
Who did you do it with?!
Who who who who who who who?!
And don’t you dare tell me, after all this, that you kissed your mother when you were little.
I wouldn’t forgive that.
Society wouldn’t forgive that.
You’d be convicted of insult, perjury, and whatever other crimes I could come up with!
Life imprisonment!
Death penalty!
Waaaah, wait!
I’m completely freaking out over this shocking possibility, but why does my mind immediately jump to death penalty?!
Is it because I like Sengoku warlords?!
I sound completely unhinged!
The ABCs of romance are supposed to be kissing, petting, then sex.
Mine have become love, violence, murder.
The Japanese psycho-girl ABCs!
Except I don’t love him.
I’m not even in love with him!
“Kameyama-kun... h-have you... ever kissed someone?”
“Huh? No. Never. I’d never drawn a kissing scene before either, so I wasn’t really sure how to do it and ended up putting too much detail into it... Honestly, I don’t think it came out very well, so getting complimented feels kind of complicated. Sorry. It’s your novel, after all.”
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
So you’ve never kissed anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Neither have Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Ah!
Danger!
The corners of my mouth were about to rise!
A stupid grin had already reached my throat!
Hold it in!
Control yourself, me!
Ahem!
Okay.
Contained.
Excellent work, me.
“I’ve never kissed anyone either. I kind of hid the kissing part here behind metaphor because... well, I don’t actually know what it feels like.”
“Yeah. I guess maybe it’s something you only understand once you’ve experienced it...?”
“Hm. Yeah. Maybe.”
Hm?
Hey.
Wasn’t this conversation heading somewhere dangerous?
“Hamori-san... do you want to... try it? Just a little?”
The moment I heard those words, an unbelievable wave of heat rushed through my face, my ears, and my entire head.
That poof effect in manga where someone’s head practically explodes from embarrassment?
Apparently that was based on reality.
“J-Just a little? A little? What do you mean, just a little...?”
Not a proper one?
HEY!
ME!
DID YOU WANT A PROPER ONE?!
WHY WERE YOU DISAPPOINTED?!
Obviously your first kiss should be a French kiss!
A light kiss!
Wait.
No.
Not French kiss.
A light kiss!
“Since it might help both of us improve how we express it... I thought maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
Y-You bastard...!
So that was his plan!
He was using improving our artistic expression as an excuse to kiss me!
U-Unforgivable!
That was wrong!
At the very least, you should have some ulterior motive!
No.
Actually, having an ulterior motive would be a problem too.
But wasn’t that basic courtesy toward the other person?!
That’s right.
This guy had been like this from the beginning.
He’d started with some incomprehensible excuse about the world collapsing just to try to kiss me.
Enemy!
Kameyama was the enemy!
“And besides...”
My sworn enemy Kameyama looked away.
His cheeks were slightly red.
“A-Actually... I’ve kind of been interested in you for a while. And I don’t think having my first time with you would be... bad...”
Huh?
“No. Not not bad. I mean... I’d rather it was you, Hamori-san. Or maybe... I don’t want it to be anyone except you. Sorry. I’m getting worked up. Give me a second.”
Kameyama-kun took a deep breath.
Then slowly let it out.
And finally said it.
“I came here because I like you, Hamori-san.”
“...”
Agh.