Chapter 34: A Step Between Us

Zhou Guo became my personal bodyguard.
A few days later, we returned to Qinglang Hotel together.
Though we’d only been away a short time, our room felt like an old house abandoned by its occupants. My uniform lay carelessly across the bed, just where I’d left it when I changed to go out with Weiwei that night.
A few unused tissues remained on the table. I’d pulled out too many, then Weiwei had hurried me along, and we’d slipped away without telling Zhou Guo.
We each packed our belongings.
Before leaving, we swept the floor and emptied the bin, restoring the room to how it had looked before we moved in.
Zhou Guo still smiled at me as she used to, but now there was deference in her smile. More often, her expression was serious. Her eyes were sharp as a leopard’s, constantly watching our surroundings.
As we passed reception, I saw three pretty girls at the desk.
“Will you miss how things used to be?” I asked.
Zhou Guo paused.
“No.”
“Why not?”
She looked at me, puzzled.
She probably couldn’t understand why a wealthy young woman would miss those days.
Of course she wouldn’t miss them. She’d known from the start that it was all a pretence. She’d never become emotionally involved.
She couldn’t understand how badly I wanted friends.
I appeared to have everything. But when it came to friendship, I had almost nothing.
Not one friend in the truest sense.
I hesitated over whether to say goodbye to Ji Feiyang.
Since I was already here, being afraid to see him would only prove how weak and self-conscious I was.
He wasn’t in his office.
Relief washed over me.
Just as I was about to make my escape, the lift doors opened.
Out stepped Ji Feiyang and Cao Jingyi.
“You came to collect your things.”
His eyes went to my suitcase.
“Yes. I went to look for you, but you weren’t there.”
I did everything I could to sound cheerful.
“You must be Yijun,” Cao Jingyi said. “Wenyuan often talks about you.”
My heart sank.
What good could Sun Wenyuan possibly have said about me?
My reputation was terrible.
I took a closer look at Cao Jingyi. Her skin was fair, her long black hair glossy. Quiet and gentle, she reminded me of a white orchid blooming in autumn—pure, elegant and beautiful.
Beside her, I felt hopelessly diminished.
Then I looked at Ji Feiyang.
Handsome and poised, he stood next to her as though they belonged together.
“I’ll be going. I won’t keep you.”
From the bottom of my heart, I wished them well.
Surely they would be happy.
Perhaps I should find a chance to explain things to Ji Feiyang. Tell him I’d never really liked him.
I didn’t want there to be awkwardness between us.
He was kind. If he knew he’d made me unhappy, he would feel guilty.

I returned to work in the design department.
Zhou Guo drove me to and from work. It seemed unnecessary, but Dad said he felt more at ease knowing someone was looking after me.
He was getting older.
I didn’t want to worry him.
One day, on the way home, I asked solemnly, “Zhou Guo, could we be friends?”
She glanced at me, considered it for a moment, then said, “Yes.”
“And if you stop being my bodyguard one day, we’ll still be friends.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I want us to be friends for the rest of our lives.”
“Why? What would you get out of being friends with me?”
“You could protect me forever, and I wouldn’t have to pay you a penny.”
I was joking.
She smiled.
“If I stop being your bodyguard, I’ll work for someone else. I’ll have another person to protect. However close we are, I won’t have time to look after you.”
“Would being my friend be so bad?”
“No. It’s just… not appropriate.”
“Then who is an appropriate person for me to be friends with?” I demanded.
“You really want to be my friend?”
“Yes.”
“You’re different from other people. You really are innocent. I’d be happy to be your friend. But let me give you some advice: don’t trust people too much.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re the chairman’s daughter.”
I gave a bitter little smile.
“Let’s go and see Weiwei.”
She turned towards me in surprise.
“Whatever happened, we were friends once. I haven’t seen her since. Even if it’s the last time, I should say goodbye.”
Weiwei and I looked at each other through a pane of glass.
She was pale and listless, her eyes dull. Seeing me seemed to surprise her.
Then she gave a faint smile.
It was still as pretty as it had always been.
“How are you?”
“All right.”
The smile looked strained.
“Why did you do it?”
Hurt and reproach mingled in my voice.
She fell silent.
I still believed she wasn’t a bad person.
After a long while, she said, “I’m sorry.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“Please forgive me.”
Her words came haltingly through the tears.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just wanted a better life. I was pregnant once, but he wouldn’t let me keep the baby. We couldn’t afford to raise her, so I had an abortion.
“I wanted her so much. She’d already begun to take shape.
“I thought your family was so rich that even a tiny amount to you would be enough for us to live well. I never intended to hurt you. I only wanted the money so I could marry him and have a child.
“I didn’t know he had another woman.
“After we got the money, he tried to give me a share and get rid of me. He knew I was involved. He was certain I wouldn’t dare make trouble.”
She broke into sobs.
For a long time, she cried, pouring out everything she’d been holding in.
My eyes grew wet too.
Eventually, she sniffed and gave a self-mocking smile.
“It happened so suddenly that I panicked.”
Her gaze flicked towards Zhou Guo beside me.
“Otherwise, I wouldn’t have left you anything to catch me with. I’d already guessed she was a professional bodyguard.”
I’d never even heard Weiwei mention a boyfriend.
Her story stunned me.
What else hadn’t I known?
She was always smiling. I’d always thought she was happy.
“You never told me about him.”
“That was private. He’s a petty criminal. Hardly something to be proud of. I didn’t talk about him much.”
After a pause, she asked, “Could you do something for me?”
“What?”
“I put up a memorial stone for my baby. Could you visit her for me during Qingming this year?
“Everyone thinks I’m mad. They say a child who was never born doesn’t even count as a person. But to me, she was my daughter.
“If she’d lived, she would be walking by now. Calling me Mum.”
Weiwei wasn’t a bad person.
Zhou Guo said there was only a step between being a good person and being a bad one.
“Then I’d better keep my distance,” I told her. “In case you take that step.”
“That would be sensible. But not too far. I still have to protect you.”
I asked my sister to help me find a way to help Weiwei.
She was pitiable, and she was still young.
Her whole life couldn’t end like this.
After she was released from prison, she sent me a letter.
On a blank sheet of paper, she had written only two inadequate words.
Thank you.
I asked someone to find her.
If I could help, I wanted to try, however little I might be able to do.
We found her at the place she was renting.
Things weren’t going well. She had no job, and her relationship with her family was strained.
She looked at me for a long time, her eyes bright and intent.
“I envy you. You have a wealthy family, and… someone who loves you. The first part of your life has been so good. With him, the rest will be good too.”
Tears came again.
Perhaps she was thinking of her own unhappiness.
With him?
Who did she mean?
“He… Who are you talking about?”
“The general manager.”
My heart began to race.
Why would she say that?
Had she noticed something? Did she know something?
Could it be true?
“Him? How could he possibly like me? Don’t you know he and Cao Jingyi are about to get engaged?”
I tried to sound composed.
Weiwei thought for a moment.
Then she said firmly, “You’re the one he loves. Perhaps something’s holding him back. Or perhaps… he hasn’t realised it himself.”
“After we came back from seeing the lanterns that night, I went to find you. You weren’t in your room. Zhou Guo said you and the general manager were lighting lanterns on the roof.
“I was curious, so I went up.
“I’d never seen him playing around with a girl like that. I could hear you both laughing from a distance.
“Then you came running downstairs in tears.
“He stayed up there for a long time. When he finally came down, he looked troubled.
“After that night, things weren’t right between you two.
“Before, I’d thought he might have feelings for you, though perhaps he only treated you like a younger sister. After that night, I was sure he liked you.”
“He stayed up there for a long time?”
“Yes.”
“He must have felt guilty.”
“Even if he did, why stay on the roof freezing? He really likes you. Hurting you hurt him too.”
I didn’t know whether she was right.
But I trusted her judgement more often than not. She was usually perceptive.
“Thank you for telling me.”
True or not, hearing someone say he liked me made me happy.
“You need to do something. Otherwise, you’ll both regret it.”
I looked at her uncertainly.
“A friend found me a job,” she said. “I’ll be leaving in a few days.”
Weiwei left.
She went in a hurry and left no way to contact her.
She was a clever woman.
Surely she would find a way to live well.