Chapter 1

Before bed, I texted my online boyfriend:

【Babe, if anyone asks to add you, could you just say you’re my older brother?】

I fell asleep.

He, meanwhile, lost his mind.

At one: 【Am I number three or number four?】

At two: 【Don’t tell me I’m number five? You’ve never made me take the lower spot before.】

At three: 【Let’s break up—unless you make me your number two… At least number three. I can’t go any lower.】

At four: 【No, no, don’t break up! I just want to move up a few places in line. Honestly, being number five is fine too. Five blessings at the door, five harvests, five brilliant colors… Babe, please answer me, okay?】

At five in the morning, a top celebrity posted a demand for justice—and shot straight to the trending list.

#GiveMyOfficialGirlfriendBackToMe

1

I was woken up by a call from my manager, Sister Li.

“Stop sleeping! This has nothing to do with you, but stop sleeping!”

“Get up and enjoy the show! The domestic entertainment scene hasn’t been this lively in ages!”

Still groggy, I opened the trending list.

The number-one topic was #GiveMyOfficialGirlfriendBackToMe.

What the hell?

I tapped it and saw that top star Shen Qi’an, who usually only posted advertisements, had put up a Weibo post at five in the morning:

【Give me back my beautiful girlfriend! Give me back my official girlfriend! Give me back my adorable girlfriend! ‘Moments of Attraction,’ I’m not letting you off the hook! Damn it, before she joined the show, my girlfriend said she only loved me. After she joined, I became number five! Give me back my official girlfriend!】

He’d attached a selfie.

Shen Qi’an’s eyes were red, and his hair was a mess.

He held up a blank sheet of paper with six blood-red characters written across it:

【Give My Official Girlfriend Back】

It got even more confusing.

Wasn’t “Moments of Attraction” the dating show I was on?

I read through the comments, baffled.

【Who made him so mad?】

【Come on, man. You’ve got the face of a devoted lover, but you’re sneaking around as number five?】

【I’m dying. You can literally watch someone get cheated on and then cyberbully the show on Weibo.】

【I wish I could be this shameless my whole life.】

So trendy. So abstract.

I didn’t get it.

I was too sleepy.

Sister Li’s voice pulled my consciousness back from the edge of a dream.

“Weren’t you on that show? Help me figure out who Shen Qi’an’s girlfriend is.”

“He announced six months ago that he had a girlfriend, but no one’s been able to find out who she is. I’m dying of curiosity!”

I gave a distracted “Mm,” then opened WeChat without much interest.

The loading wheel spun twice, then a glaring red “99+” appeared.

“???”

2

My barely awake brain tried to work it out.

Last night, before bed, I’d texted my online boyfriend:

【Babe, if anyone asks to add you, could you just say you’re my older brother?】

The moment I sent it, sleep won.

Granted, he could be a little dramatic—crying and fussing, trying to argue me into things, even tearing up if I forgot to reply to a message.

But surely he wouldn’t send this many messages over something so trivial!

I scrolled up.

I’d sent my text at eleven-thirty.

He didn’t reply until one in the morning.

【Babe, just tell me straight.】

【I’m prepared, I really am.】

【Am I number three or four?】

At two:

【Don’t tell me it’s number five?】

【Haha, just kidding. How could it be?】

【You’ve never made me take the lower spot before.】

【…Right?】

【Lu Yumian, your appetite is huge.】

【I’m about to make a scene. You picked the wrong guy—I’m not as easy to push around as you think!】

At three:

【Let’s break up.】

【Unless you make me your official boyfriend.】

【At least number three. I can’t go any lower.】

【Do you really think I’m the kind of guy who’d meekly settle for being number five?】

【Let me make this clear: I’m not!!】

At four:

【No, no, don’t break up.】

【I just want to move up a few places in line. Honestly, number five is fine too. Five blessings at the door, five bountiful harvests, five brilliant colors…】

【Babe, please answer me, okay?】

【I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to let you go on that dating show! This is all the show’s fault! Those awful men are trying to seduce you!】

【I’m going to demand compensation from the production team right now! What a bunch of crooks! Give my girlfriend back!】

“…”

Something about this felt… off.

My brain stalled. Trembling, I switched to Weibo.

After refreshing, I saw Shen Qi’an had replied to three comments.

【Anyone in the industry know who his girlfriend is? She must be wild!】

Shen Qi’an replied: 【If you knew who my girlfriend was, you’d think I was lucky too.】

【Bro, if a woman treats you like that, expose her name! We’ll make sure she’s ruined.】

Shen Qi’an replied: 【Who said you could insult her? What do you know! She only made one little mistake—the kind every woman in the world makes! In the end, isn’t this all the fault of the men who tried to seduce her? Besides, I’m not number five. Yesterday, I got promoted to number one!】

【Oh my god, this love-struck idiot is beyond saving. Why are you demanding justice? Just break up with her!】

Shen Qi’an replied: 【You want to take the top spot too? I’m not breaking up! I’ve already made it to number five. If I break up now, when I get back in line, will I have to start at number eight or sixteen?】

Eventually, the internet gave up trying to talk sense into him.

【He’s hopeless. Everyone, stop wasting your time. Spit on the ground and move on.】

A string of 【hahahahaha】 followed.

I was the only one who couldn’t laugh.

I cleared my throat and forced myself to speak.

“Sister Li, I think I know who Shen Qi’an’s girlfriend is.”

“Who?”

“Me.”

3

Sister Li’s voice came through full of sympathy.

“Go back to sleep. I’m sorry. You’re not exactly the brightest, and I still woke you up at six.”

The call ended.

That was almost considerate of her.

I was speechless.

For a moment, I didn’t know how to answer the pile of messages.

Shen Qi’an and I were in an online relationship.

We’d been dating for half a year without ever meeting in person.

He’d sent me one photo once, but only half his face showed.

He was handsome and looked strangely familiar.

My heart skipped a beat.

Then I calmed down.

All handsome guys look alike, right?

Dating my very own “Shen Qi’an look-alike” was already a win!

So I happily accepted, then asked him to send a slightly more revealing picture.

Who could’ve guessed a top celebrity would be secretly dating someone online?

Well, this was great.

The whole internet was trying to figure out who Shen Qi’an’s girlfriend was.

I let out a breath.

Whatever happened, I needed to explain things to him first.

I’d barely typed “Hey” when he messaged me first.

【Babe, I’m boarding a plane. Wait for me. I’m coming to rescue you from that evil production team.】

【Whether it’s number two, three, or four, I’ll beat every last one of those guys for you!】

Wait.

He was coming to the show in person?!

I hurriedly tried to stop him, but he’d already gone offline.

It was too late.

I sat on the bed, stunned.

Normally, it wouldn’t matter if Shen Qi’an came to a dating show.

But among the guests was someone…

My older brother.

The next second, there were two knocks at my bedroom door, and then it swung open.

Xie Sinian stood there, furious.

“Lu Yumian! Is that Shen guy talking about you being his girlfriend?!”

My vision went dark.

That was it.

I was finished.

4

I’d been dating Shen Qi’an online in secret from my family.

When I was little, I was kidnapped by a stranger after an accident. The Xie family didn’t find me until I was six.

My family felt unbearably guilty about it. They treated me as if I might break if they so much as touched me.

At home, there was a nine-o’clock curfew. At school, Xie Sinian followed me around like a guard dog.

Any boy who showed even the slightest interest in me got a warning from my brother and quickly gave up.

After graduation, I followed him into the entertainment industry.

I spent twenty-four hours a day under the spotlight. The moment I stepped outside, paparazzi were waiting. Dating was practically impossible.

So, reluctantly, I started an online relationship. I just never dared tell Xie Sinian.

“Maybe Shen Qi’an’s girlfriend is one of the other female guests?”

I gave a strained smile, making one last attempt to wriggle out of it.

Xie Sinian rolled his eyes.

“Who are you trying to fool? At that awards show, you happened to sit next to Shen. He spent ages bragging to me about his girlfriend—that she was as beautiful as a goddess, unmatched in heaven or on earth.”

“Long hair, peach-blossom eyes, a beauty mark under one eye. If that isn’t you, who is it? I’ve suspected this for ages. I thought I was overthinking it, but no—it really is you!”

Xie Sinian poked me in the head, frustrated that I just wouldn’t get it.

“You hopeless romantic. I don’t even know what to say to you!”

My heart sank.

Shen Qi’an, you’re really good at this.

Why didn’t you just post my national ID number too?

I let him poke me over and over, numb with shock.

“Okay, it’s me. But actually, he…”

“Stop! Are you going to tell me he’s nice to you, handsome, generous, that you’re soulmates, and that I’m your brother so I should learn to let go and bless your relationship?”

“Well… can’t you?”

“No! You’re young. You don’t understand. One look at Shen Qi’an’s face and I can tell he’s a flirt. He’s only treating you well to keep up the act. Once the novelty wears off, he’ll show his true colors…”

Xie Sinian lectured me earnestly for ages.

When I still looked dazed, he sighed.

“Give me your phone. I’ll see how he’s manipulating you.”

I handed it over reluctantly.

“Do you really have to look?”

Xie Sinian unlocked my phone without another word.

He skimmed through the chat history, then fell silent.

Boyfriend: 【Babe, I miss you.】

【I’m Emo now.】

【Do you know why I’m Emo?】

【Because I’m E-mo-missing you so much.】

【Want to see a selfie?】

Me: 【Send me a spicy one.】

Boyfriend: 【Abs.jpg】

【I was looking in the mirror just now and had a thought. Do you like me, or do you like my body?】

【It’s me, right?】

【Though my body’s pretty nice too.】

【But it’d be better if you liked me for who I am.】

【Babe, what are we now?】

【Answer me.】

【I’m about to make a scene.】

Me: 【Stop fussing.】

Boyfriend: 【Hehe, I knew you liked me.】

“Is he manipulating you?” I mumbled.

“He… never mind. That’s not the point.”

Xie Sinian cleared his throat, awkwardly changing the subject.

“If Shen wants to show up, I’ll meet him in person. I’ve seen plenty of people. One look and I’ll know if he’s a player.”

He walked to the door, then turned back to add:

“Don’t tell that kid you’re my sister!”

5

Because of the buzz Shen Qi’an had created, the production team quickly added an interview segment to the beginning of the dating show.

“Tell us your impression of Shen Qi’an. What’s one thing about him that left the strongest impression on you?”

The other guests gave polished, professional answers about work.

I was the only one, under the murderous glare of my brother across from me, who made a miserable face that shot straight to the trending list.

【I don’t know him, I’ve never met him, I didn’t do it, it wasn’t me, definitely wasn’t me, okay?!】

The livestream comments went wild with laughter.

【We know, it wasn’t you. Go on, get out of here.】