Chapter 5
Edward Quan ·
She didn’t know my new number, so she used my work email.
At first, she scolded me. Was I planning to disown my parents forever?
Later, her tone softened. Dad’s blood pressure was up. A pipe at home had broken, and she couldn’t find anyone to fix it.
Then she said Zhou Xu visited often. He’d lost a great deal of weight.
I didn’t reply.
In the third month, Dad called from an unfamiliar number.
“Your mother’s in hospital,” he said first.
My grip tightened.
“What’s wrong?”
“High blood pressure. Nothing serious.”
“What did the doctor say?”
“Two days’ observation.”
He paused.
“Could you come and see her?”
I took two days off and caught the last high-speed train home.
Mom’s eyes reddened as soon as she saw me.
“So you do remember the way back.”
I placed a fruit basket on the bedside cabinet.
“What did the doctor say?”
She didn’t answer. She only looked at me.
“You’ve lost weight.”
“Work’s busy.”
“What’s so wonderful about Nancheng that you don’t even want your family?”
I poured her water.
“It isn’t that I don’t want a family.”
“Then why won’t you come home?”
I looked at her.
“Because I’m not the person you wanted.”
She froze.
I didn’t go on.
What she’d wanted to keep was my baby. What she’d wanted to secure was a well-off son-in-law like Zhou Xu.
Not once had she asked what I thought.
**8**
Zhou Xu came the day Mom was discharged.
Carrying nutritional supplements, he efficiently helped Dad with the paperwork.
His steps faltered when he saw me.
“You’re back.”
I didn’t answer.
Mom immediately said, “He’s helped us so much these past few months.”
I nodded.
“Thank you.”
His face stiffened slightly.
Perhaps he hadn’t expected such distant politeness.
On the way home, he volunteered to carry Mom’s things.
Dad walked ahead. Mom deliberately slowed, pushing me toward Zhou Xu.
“Five months,” he said quietly.
“Mm.”
“You haven’t contacted me once.”
“We broke up.”
After a silence, he said, “Lin Wei moved out.”
I turned to him.
“Why should I care where she moves?”
“I wasn’t with her.”
“I know.”
“Then why—”
“Zhou Xu.” I interrupted. “We didn’t break up because of Lin Wei.”
He looked as though he couldn’t understand.
Perhaps all these months, he’d believed that proving he wasn’t involved with her would make me forgive him.
“Then why?”
I didn’t answer.
There was too much.
The code I hadn’t known. The stained sofa cover. Him telling me I’d grown boring.
And the first question he’d asked in hospital after my accident: was it because of Chen Yue?
Taken separately, none of these things seemed enough to end five years.
Piled together, they left no space in which to stay.
At home, Mom asked me to remain for dinner.
The food had just reached the table when the doorbell rang.
Lin Wei.
Her expression grew awkward when she saw me.
“Auntie asked me to collect something.”
Mom looked startled too.
“I thought Xiaowan would already have left tonight.”
Only then did I learn that Lin Wei had also been visiting my parents regularly. While Zhou Xu looked after them, she helped.
They were certain that treating my parents well amounted to making things up to me.
Lin Wei took her things, but didn’t leave.
Standing at the entrance, she said quietly, “Xiaowan, I really didn’t post that video.”
“I know.”
“I explained to the person who uploaded it afterward. People online just wouldn’t believe me.”
“Mm.”
The rest of her prepared speech died.
After a while, she asked, “Don’t you blame me?”
“I did.”
“And now?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Her eyes reddened.
She would rather I’d shouted at her. At least that would have meant she could still affect me.
Mom pulled me into the kitchen.
“I think he really regrets it. These past months, he’s visited more often than your sister.”
“And?”
“Everyone makes mistakes. You’ve been away for months. Surely your anger’s passed.”
“I’m not sulking.”
“Then are you determined to live out there alone?”
I looked at her.
“I’m doing well.”
“In a shared dormitory, working overtime every day? What’s good about that?”
“At least the door opens when I come home.”
Her voice caught.
No one spoke at dinner after that.
When we finished, I went to my room to pack the rest of my things.
A few old outfits still hung in the wardrobe.
Mom followed. Watching me fold them, she finally panicked.
“Why are you taking everything?”
“I won’t be coming back much.”
“This is your home.”
“It used to be.”
She stood in the doorway, tears falling.