Chapter 1

I’d been extraordinarily strong since childhood. I also happened to have a full bust and a narrow waist.

This year, His Majesty graciously opened the imperial examinations to women.

Mother sold two pigs to send me to the capital. Other candidates brought books. I brought three sacks of rice.

I ate ten bowls at a sitting, after all. An empty stomach was no use for heavy lifting.

When the results went up, my name stood at the very top.

The celebrated woman from another world, whose brilliance had dazzled the capital, tore down the list in front of everyone.

“I’ve read every classic and know five thousand years of history! How could I lose to a woman who does nothing but flaunt herself?”

Pointing at my chest, she shrieked, “You must have seduced the chief examiner and stolen my place as champion! I’ll beat the Drum of Appeals and ask His Majesty for a public rematch!”

People muttered around us. Someone spat toward me.

“With a figure like that, no wonder she came first.”

“Look at her. Who’d believe she was respectable?”

I merely protected my rice bowl and hurriedly swallowed the last mouthful.

“A rematch is fine. Though you might need both hands just to hold my bow.”

She sneered.

“Idiot! We’re testing scholarship. Why bring up bows? You can’t even tell music, go, poetry, and painting apart, yet you dare call yourself champion?”

I stared.

My examination had been riding, archery, stone lifting, and wrestling. Where had music and poetry come into it?

* * *

I set down my empty bowl and let out a satisfied burp.

Jiang Xueci laughed coldly, her eyes cutting into me.

“Nothing to say, you illiterate slut?”

The scholars around her immediately joined in.

“Miss Jiang is right! How could such a vulgar woman deserve first place?”

“Look at her seductive airs. She must have done something underhanded!”

“Shameless! She disgraces all of us who study!”

I looked down at my palms, thick with calluses from drawing a bow, then sincerely met her eyes.

“It’s true. I don’t know much about music, go, poetry, or painting.”

She pointed at me and laughed.

“You all heard her! She admits it! An empty-headed fool who doesn’t know the four arts has stolen my place!”

A young gentleman in white stepped forward, fluttering a folding fan.

His leering gaze swept over my chest.

“Why trouble yourself with a whore like her, Miss Jiang? With those breasts and hips, naturally the examiners couldn’t resist. I imagine she won her title in bed!”

I frowned. I was extremely displeased.

Mother had sold two pigs to get me here. They had no right to insult her pigs.

Still, I knew my figure attracted attention wherever I went.

Strength was the best answer.

I walked straight to the stone guardian lion beside the results board, gripped its base with my right hand, and lifted it.

Several hundred jin of stone rose in one hand.

I flung it down at the white-robed gentleman’s feet.

The paving cracked with a tremendous crash. Chips of stone flew.

He fell onto his backside in terror, dropping his fan.

Silence swept the square.

Everyone stared as though I were a monster.

Jiang Xueci paled briefly, then recovered her arrogance.

“Enough theatrics! That lion is obviously a hollow prop. You think a cheap trick can fool a modern person like me?”

I had no idea what a modern person was.

I only knew she was very noisy. Like the rooster that crowed every morning at the village entrance.

“What do you actually want?” I asked.

She glared through clenched teeth.

“To beat the Drum of Appeals! To see the emperor! I’ll challenge you fairly before the entire capital and tear off that hypocritical mask myself!”

I sighed and shouldered my three sacks of rice.

“All right. Let’s go. I’ve just eaten. A walk will help.”

Shaking with fury, she flung out her sleeve and marched toward the palace.

The crowd streamed after us until the street was packed solid.

Along the way, Jiang Xueci loudly recited poetry to display her brilliance.

“Have you not seen the Yellow River’s waters descend from heaven,
Rush to the sea, never to return?”

The scholars burst into applause.

“Miss Jiang is the immortal poet reborn!”

“A timeless masterpiece! That is a true champion’s talent!”

“That busty village girl ahead isn’t fit to touch her little toe!”

I chewed a rock-hard piece of dried sweet potato, grumbling inwardly.

The river here was plainly green. Why did she say it was yellow?

Terrible eyesight.

**2**

We soon reached the square before the palace gates.

The enormous Drum of Appeals stood in the center, imposing and solemn.

No one had struck it for ten years.

Jiang Xueci approached, took the great wooden beater in both hands, and tried to lift it high.

She only managed chest height. Her face turned red with effort.

Gritting her teeth, she brought it down.

A dull little thump emerged. It sounded like a fart.

The guards at the gate laughed. So did I.

Her face blazed. She spun toward me.

“What are you laughing at? Hit it yourself, if you’re so capable! Let’s see what a slut like you can do!”

She wanted to make me look ridiculous. With a waist as small as mine, she probably thought I couldn’t hold the beater.

I put down my rice sacks, took it in one hand, and swung.

The boom shook the drumhead and sent dust billowing into the sky.

It rolled across the capital. Even the paving beneath us trembled.

Jiang Xueci clapped her hands over her ears, crouching and shrieking in pain.

The guards went pale and stepped back.

When the sound finally faded, she stood and pointed at me.

“Crude! Barbaric! The examinations test learning and statecraft. What use is brute strength?”

At that moment, the palace gates slowly opened.

Lord Pei, the chief examiner, strode out in purple robes, his expression cold, a squad of guards behind him.

Jiang Xueci rushed forward, weeping prettily.

“Lord Pei! You must give me justice! This woman stole my place as champion, but she can’t even read!”

He frowned and looked at me. His gaze flickered at my figure, then quickly shifted away.

“The Drum of Appeals has sounded. There must be a serious grievance. What is this about?”

She held the torn results list up to him.

“My lord, I demand an immediate public rematch. Poetry, rhapsodies, policy essays, composition! I want the whole realm to see that she climbed to the top by selling her looks!”

His expression darkened at the shredded notice.

“A rematch in the street? Do you take the laws of the court for a children’s game?”

She straightened, radiating righteousness.

“My lord, I’m defending the fairness of the examinations! I’ve studied bitterly for ten years, waiting for women to be allowed to sit. How can I lose to a village girl who only knows how to flaunt herself?”

He turned his sharp gaze on me.

“Will you accept her challenge?”

I scratched my head. This was tiresome.

“Could we test something else? Writing makes me sleepy. Stone weights, perhaps? Or wrestling. I’ll give her the use of both hands and only use one myself.”

Wild laughter erupted.

“She really is empty-headed!”

“She can’t write an essay, so she suggests wrestling!”

“Lord Pei, throw this fraud into prison! Torture the truth out of her!”

Jiang Xueci lifted her chin triumphantly, looking at me as though I were already dead.

“You heard her, my lord. She knows she’s guilty. Seducing men is all she can do!”

Anger began to stir.

For years, people in my village had invented stories about me because of my face and figure.

Whenever I found out who, I went straight to their door and beat them until they behaved.

I had plenty of strength. I had very little patience for people discussing my virtue.

Frowning, I stepped forward.

“I didn’t seduce anyone. I passed on my own ability.”

Jiang Xueci sneered.

“Real ability? Very well. Bring paper and brushes!”

**3**

With Lord Pei’s permission, the guards carried two writing desks into the center of the square.

Jiang Xueci went to the left desk and picked up a wolf-hair brush.

Her movements were graceful, her brush swift. Soon, a poem titled “Ode to Plum Blossoms” appeared on the paper.

People craned their necks and gasped.

“Excellent verse!”

“Such elegant calligraphy, such depth! No wonder she’s the capital’s foremost talented lady!”

She put down the brush and gave me a challenging look.

“Your turn, Champion.”

I approached the right desk.

The brush seemed terribly flimsy. Like a toothpick.

Still, to answer her challenge, I carefully took the shaft between two fingers.

Crack.

Despite my care, it snapped in half.

Ink splashed across the white paper, leaving it black.

Thunderous jeers rose again.

“She can’t even hold a brush!”

“A seductress with straw for brains!”

“Get out of the capital! Stop fouling our city!”

I dropped the broken brush and turned to Lord Pei, perfectly serious.

“My lord, I didn’t use this little toy in my examination.”

Jiang Xueci came closer, her expression contemptuous.

She lowered her voice so only I could hear.

“Stop struggling, you inferior ancient native.”