Chapter 4

I looked at his pale face.

“You cannot protect Shen Xuerong, and you cannot control your own family. Don't use your so-called devotion to humiliate anyone else.”

I climbed into the carriage without looking back.

First, I went to the government office to change my household registration. Only then did I send for Mother.

She had already packed her clothes, account books, and the deeds belonging to her dowry.

She left behind nothing in the Lu residence that her dowry had paid for.

When my father, Lu Chong, returned from his duties and found the main courtyard half empty, he was furious. He brought Cheng Wanniang and her children after us to the south of the city.

The moment he entered, he began shouting.

“Lu Mingqi, you ungrateful wretch! Who gave you permission to divorce? Who gave you permission to incite your mother to leave home?”

Mother and I came out from the rear courtyard. Four guards borrowed from the princess's household stood behind us.

“What has my divorce to do with you?”

“I'm your father!”

“Then calculate how much of Mother's money you've spent over the years.”

Lu Chong pointed at Mother.

“You're going to let your daughter speak to me like that?”

Mother looked at him with an extraordinary calm.

“Has she said anything untrue?”

Cheng Wanniang immediately began wiping away tears.

“Sister, the master has his difficulties too. At your age, joining your daughter in this nonsense—aren't you afraid people will laugh?”

“Call me Sister once more, and I'll have you thrown out.”

Mother had never spoken like that before. Cheng Wanniang stood rooted to the spot.

Lu Zhao jumped forward.

“You've left home, Mother. Do you care nothing for the family's reputation? Taking so much away—do you expect the rest of us to live on air?”

I drew the dagger I had washed clean after the night before and pointed it at him.

“I haven't settled the debt for pushing my brother into the pond. Take one more step, and I'll cripple you.”

Lu Zhao went white and hid behind Father.

Lu Chong trembled with rage.

“Neither of you has a husband's family or a birth family to rely on. How many peaceful days do you think you'll have?”

Mother looked at the house behind her.

“For more than twenty years, I've lived on my own dowry and supported you and Cheng Wanniang's family into the bargain. I'll only live better without you.”

She stepped forward to stand squarely in the doorway of her own home.

“If I don't receive a divorce agreement tomorrow, I'll take everything to the Censorate: your persecution of your wife for the sake of your concubine, your shielding of a concubine's son who killed your lawful wife's son, your appropriation of your wife's property.”

Lu Chong's expression changed at once.

“More than twenty years of marriage, and you feel nothing for me?”

Mother laughed, but her eyes were utterly cold.

“When you protected Cheng Wanniang, did you think of me? When Zhao'er died in the pond, did you think of me? If you refuse to let go, I won't merely have you stripped of office. Your concubine and her son needn't hope for peace either.”

At last, Cheng Wanniang panicked. She tugged at Lu Chong, wanting to leave.

Lu Zhao was still defiant, but one step toward him from a guard sent him turning to flee.

Before they left, Mother spoke again.

“Before noon tomorrow.”

Lu Chong stopped cursing. He took his family away in disarray.

As soon as the courtyard gate closed, Mother's shoulders slumped.

I caught her arm.

“Were you afraid?”

“Yes.”

She gripped my hand.

“But I was more afraid of spending another twenty years in that room in the Lu residence, only to die there.”

9.

At midday the next day, the divorce agreement arrived from the Lu family.

Mother pressed it to her chest and wept for a long time.

Not because she could not bear to part with Lu Chong, but for more than twenty years of her life that had been worn away.

When she had finished crying, she washed her face. She gave me the largest room in the main courtyard and chose a small east-facing courtyard for herself, where she could catch the sun.

Mother had barely settled in when rumors about me spread through the capital.

Some said I had carried on an affair in the Gu residence, then killed my lover to silence him when we were caught.

Others said Gu Huaizhang had pitied me for spending three years alone in an empty bed, and had changed a letter of repudiation into a mutual divorce agreement to leave me one last shred of dignity.

When Pei Zhaochuan heard, he took men to the Gu residence and fought his way in.

By the time I arrived, Gu Huaizhang's face was battered and bruised.

This was not merely a story I had heard from someone else.

Early that morning, two men claiming to be former Gu servants had blocked the entrance to my shop. They pointed at the women coming and going and declared that I had betrayed my duties as a wife.

The shopkeeper detained them. In one man's sleeve, he found three taels of loose silver and a token used for purchasing supplies for the Gu residence.

I had the token taken to the Capital Prefecture to open a case. Then I sent Qingdai to find out who had spread the rumors in the teahouses.

Within an hour, the trail led to a maid serving Gu Mingzhu.

But Pei Zhaochuan was quicker still.

The moment he heard I was being slandered, he stormed into the Gu residence without even changing out of his Ministry of Works robes.

I hurried there because I was afraid he would be so busy hitting people that he would forget to preserve the evidence.

Pei Zhaochuan seized Gu Huaizhang by the collar.

“Three years ago, you left her to live like a widow. Three years later, you smear her name. How many lives does she owe the Gu family that you're determined to drive her to her death?”

Gu Huaizhang wiped blood from the corner of his mouth.

“I didn't spread the rumors.”

“Your family did. What difference does that make?”

Pei Zhaochuan pointed at Shen Xuerong.

“First you tried to steal the Duke of Anguo's daughter's marriage. Now you're trampling on Mingqi to set yourself up as a paragon of virtue. Didn't the Shen family learn anything the first time?”

There was a handprint on Shen Xuerong's face. She wept.

“Young Master Pei, how can you ruin my reputation without cause?”

“So you do know a ruined reputation can destroy someone?”

At the sound of my voice, Pei Zhaochuan released Gu Huaizhang and turned.

His face was injured too, and one sleeve was torn at the corner. All his furious bravado vanished.

I went up to Shen Xuerong.

“Did you spread the rumors?”

“No.”

“Who let that man through the west side gate last night?”

She refused to admit anything.

“I don't know.”

I slapped her.

“Three years ago, you also tried to ruin the Duke of Anguo's daughter with an accusation of illicit relations. That failed, and the Shen family was exiled. Do you want to try again?”

She covered her face. At last, she said nothing.

Gu Mingzhu suddenly blocked the door.

“And you still claim there's nothing between you and Pei Zhaochuan? If you weren't having an affair, would he come here and beat people up for you?”

Pei Zhaochuan laughed coldly.

“By your reasoning, anyone who demands justice for someone else is having an affair with them. You chase after me with embroidered sachets every day. Does that mean you're already carrying my child?”

“You… That's nonsense!”

“You're happy to dump filth over other people, but you can't bear a little on your own head?”

My mother-in-law stepped in front of Gu Mingzhu.

“Pei Zhaochuan, you're a grown man. How can you bully an unmarried girl like this?”

“She's unmarried, so Mingqi no longer deserves to be treated as a woman of virtue? You've raised fine children, Madam Gu. One uses his fists, the other spreads rumors. A matching pair.”

Gu Huaizhang looked at me, his face gray.

“Mingqi, I'll investigate these rumors.”

“No need.”

I walked past him.

“I want no more involvement with the Gu family.”

I laid the token in front of him.

“You know whose courtyard these rumors came from. The Capital Prefecture has opened a case. If I hear another word tomorrow, I'll take the whole matter before the authorities, along with the man who broke into my courtyard last night.”

Gu Mingzhu stared at the token, her face livid. My mother-in-law no longer dared speak in her defense.

Shen Xuerong suddenly began to cry. She said she and her children were living on another family's charity; without her reputation, she could not survive.

I looked at her.

“If you want to survive, hold on to Gu Huaizhang's heart. Stop trampling on me.”

Gu Huaizhang instinctively reached to support her. She moved away, as though she had finally tired of a man who could give her neither prestige nor protection.

Pei Zhaochuan followed me out.

At the gate, he asked quietly, “Are you angry?”

“Angry you went fighting without asking me. If I'd come sooner, I could have made the other side of Gu Huaizhang's face match.”

He stared, then laughed. It pulled at the wound by his mouth, and he hissed in pain.

I glared at him.

“Go home and put some medicine on that.”

10.

As I wiped the blood from the corner of Pei Zhaochuan's mouth, he kept staring at me.

“Say so if it hurts. Don't pretend.”

“I'm not afraid of the pain.”

He sat a little straighter. His ears were bright red.

“Mingqi, will you marry me?”

The medicine spoon in my hand stopped.

Pei Zhaochuan was the Pei family's youngest son. We had known each other since childhood.

He worked at the Ministry of Works and was skilled at architectural drawings. He often helped revise clothing designs for my embroidery workshop as well.

During the years I was trapped in the Gu household, he had never said anything improper. He had simply appeared when I needed someone.

Only now, with the divorce agreement in my hands, did he speak.

When I did not answer, he hurried on.

“I can set up a separate household. I could even move into this house of yours. Our children can take my surname or yours. My parents won't make things difficult for you.”

“You have no bedchamber maids?”

“None.”

“And there mustn't be any in the future.”

“Agreed.”

“Mother lives with me. You mustn't resent her.”

“I'd welcome someone else to keep you in order, so you don't go risking your life with a knife in the middle of the night.”

I glared. He immediately corrected himself.

“I don't mean to control you. Carry a knife if you like. Just bring me along.”

I could not help laughing.

“Then go and discuss it with your elders. You'll move in here, and we won't share a courtyard with your parents. If they agree, I'll marry you.”

He stood stunned for a long moment, then leaped to his feet.

“You said yes?”

“I've only set my conditions.”

“I'll go home now.”

He ran so fast that he caught his foot on the threshold and stumbled. Even as he steadied himself against the doorframe, he turned back to smile at me.

When Mother heard, she did not object.

The very next day, Pei Zhaochuan's parents came to ask for my hand. The wedding was set for a month later.

On the day the betrothal gifts arrived, Madam Pei personally handed Mother the gift list and invited her to take the seat of honor to receive them.

Mother held the list, a little flustered, and asked me in a low voice, “Will it embarrass the Pei family to have a divorced woman like me sitting here?”

Madam Pei heard first. She smiled and took Mother's hand.

“You raised such a fine daughter. It's our family's good fortune to become your in-laws. If anyone dares bring up your past, I'll be the first to object.”

Mother stared for a long time. Her eyes reddened.

“I was only afraid… afraid I would be a burden to Mingqi.”

“Mother, leaving that house was how you stood behind me.”

She lowered her head to wipe her tears. When she looked up again, she finally sat secure in the seat of honor.

That day, everyone treated her as my mother. They asked her to help choose my wedding clothes and take stock of my dowry.

She tasted one of the wedding cakes and even complained that the ones Pei Zhaochuan had bought were not sweet enough.

The rumors that Gu Huaizhang had cast off his wife, together with the attempt to catch an adulterer in his household, led a censor to impeach him. He was punished with a beating, and his prospects of promotion were cut off.

My former mother-in-law blamed Shen Xuerong for all of it.

Shen Xuerong was finally entered in the Gu family register. But she never received the splendor she had imagined.

After Pei Zhaochuan and I married, we continued to live in the south of the city.

A year later, we had a son.

Mother could hardly bear to put him down. Day by day, her expression grew more relaxed.

Pei Zhaochuan did not compete with her for the baby. But he always waited until our son was asleep before pulling me away, complaining that Mother spoiled her grandson too much.

As for the Lu family, Lu Chong would occasionally come to beg Mother to return.

Each time, Cheng Wanniang would follow to make a scene. The two of them no longer looked like such devoted lovers.

The same was true of Gu Huaizhang and Shen Xuerong.

After years without a promotion, he began blaming her for ruining his career.

She resented his incompetence, his inability to give her wealth and honor with a proper title.

The ill-fated lovers everyone had once praised grew to detest each other when they actually lived together. Their quarrels were uglier than anyone else's.

At a celebration, Pei Zhaochuan and I came upon them arguing.

The moment they saw us, they suppressed their anger and pretended to be happy together.

Once the men and women had gone to separate tables, Shen Xuerong came to me. Her eyes were red.

“Lu Mingqi, you're delighted to see me unhappy, aren't you?”

“What has your happiness or unhappiness to do with me?”

She had no answer. After a long pause, she said, “If you hadn't forced us into corners at every turn back then, Huaizhang and I would never have come to this.”

“You've made a mess of your own lives, and now you want compensation from me?”

Pei Zhaochuan came over from the men's table and sat down beside me.

“This is the women's table,” I reminded him.

“I'm not drinking. It makes no difference where I sit.”

Shen Xuerong looked at him, found no satisfaction there, and left.

After the feast, Pei Zhaochuan and I walked home.

As we reached the mouth of the lane, Mother's laughter drifted out of the courtyard. Then came our child's lisping call for Mama.

Pei Zhaochuan quickened his pace, grumbling that our son knew only how to call for his mother, never his father.

I followed him, suddenly thinking how very much those two divorce agreements had been worth.

Mother no longer had to wait for an unfaithful man. And I no longer had to be punished for someone else's devotion.

As the gate opened, Mother came to meet us with the child in her arms.

This was the home I wanted to return to.