Chapter 2

I held her arm tightly.

It was not that Mother had no spirit. My brother's death and more than twenty years of injustice had worn her down until she no longer dared hope for anything.
Now, if she would only take the first step, I could walk the rest of the way with her.

Mother summoned the old nurse who had come with her when she married. She took the deeds to her land and shops from the bottom of a chest and spread them on the table, one by one.

Before, she had never dared touch them, afraid Father would accuse her of guarding against her husband's family.
Only now, as we took stock, did she discover that three years' rent from two shops had never reached her accounts. Lu Chong had ordered the household accountants to give it all to Cheng Wanniang.

Mother gripped those thin sheets of paper until her knuckles whitened.

“All these years, I told myself he merely favored her. That he wasn't deliberately mistreating me.”

I made a separate list of the missing sums.

“When he takes his wife's property to support a concubine, that favoritism is mistreatment. Mother, you don't have to make excuses for him anymore.”

After a long silence, she handed me her seal.

“Then we'll recover every last payment. Zhao'er never had the chance to grow up. These things must never fall into the hands of the people who harmed him.”

It was the first time since my little brother's death that she had spoken his name of her own accord.

I did not tell her not to grieve. I simply sat with her, working through the accounts until night had fully fallen.

As I left the Lu residence, I ran into Lu Zhao coming home.

He wore a newly made blue robe and a jade token at his waist of the kind reserved for men who had passed the provincial examinations. When I failed to greet him, his face darkened.

“Stop. You see your own brother and can't even say hello?”

“What brother are you to me?”

He strode over to block my carriage.

“A woman about to be thrown out by her husband's family, still putting on airs as the eldest young lady! You don't imagine Father will actually take you in?”

“I have a house and shops. I don't need the Lu family to feed me.”

“All that property went out with you when you married. If you're cast off, won't it have to come back for the clan to manage?”

I laughed.

“Can you do anything besides covet my money and Mother's?”

Lu Zhao flushed.

“Over ten years of study, and you've barely passed the provincial examinations before you think the family estate is yours to inherit. Pity you have neither character nor judgment. Even the clothes on your back are paid for out of my mother's dowry.”

“You… Who are you to lecture me?”

Furious, he raised a hand to slap me.

I had been watching for just that. I stepped back, and Qingdai moved in front of me.

His hand struck empty air. He stumbled.

“So this is how Concubine Cheng raised her son. Can't win an argument with a woman, so you hit her. All those teachings of the sages you've swallowed seem to have turned to cattle fodder.”

His eyes reddened.

“Lu Mingqi!”

“Why are you shouting? You dared push your little brother into a pond at five. A rotten child only grows into a worse man.”

Alarm flashed across his face. Then he vehemently denied it.

“It was an accident!”

“You know better than anyone whether it was.”

Cheng Wanniang had always wanted him registered as Mother's son, to give him the status of a lawful wife's child. Then he could claim the connections and property my grandfather had left with every appearance of legitimacy.

I had never agreed.

He was vicious to the core. Having him registered as Mother's son would only make it easier for him to drain the last of her lifeblood.

Lu Zhao started toward me again, but the gatekeeper had poked his head out to look.

Mindful of his dignity as a provincial examination graduate, he stopped.

I climbed into the carriage and lifted the curtain to look at him.

“Tell Concubine Cheng that if I do divorce, not a single coin of the dowry she's hoping to divide up will return to the Lu household.”

Even after the carriage left the lane, I could still hear him swearing behind us.

The angrier he grew, the more reassured I felt.
At least Mother's departure and mine had touched on what they truly feared.

4.

The lamps in the Gu family's main hall were still burning when I returned.

Laughter drifted out. I went straight to the West Courtyard without entering.

Late that night, Gu Huaizhang came.

He stood in front of my desk for a long time, neither sitting down nor speaking.

I went on turning the pages of my account book, waiting for him to lose patience with the silence.

“Whether we divorce by agreement or I repudiate you, it's your reputation that will be ruined.”

At last, he spoke.

“Xuerong won't compete with you. The children will respect you too. If you'd like a child to keep you company in the future… I can have my eldest son registered as yours.”

I looked up.

“What do you take me for? A steward to raise your children?”

“I'm thinking of your future. It's hard for a divorced woman to make her way, and you have no brothers to rely on.”

“I have money, a house, and two working hands. Why must I rely on you?”

He frowned.

“You were the one who refused to break off the engagement. You knew I loved Xuerong, yet you insisted on marrying into the Gu family. You've brought all this on yourself—”

“Our elders arranged that engagement. You were the one who fell for someone else, and now you blame me for not helping you break it?”

“You… Don't even think about it!”

He slammed his hand on the desk.

“You cannot come and go from the Gu household as you please.”

“Is it me you can't bear to part with, or my dowry and the connection to the Lu family?”

His face was ugly. He did not answer.

“If Shen Xuerong truly loves only you, why was she so determined to cling to Prince Ning three years ago? When you pleaded for the Shen family, did you ever consider how many people might want them silenced over the position of Prince Ning's consort?”

Gu Huaizhang stared.

“What do you mean?”

“The Duke of Anguo's household didn't want someone entangling their future son-in-law. And the Shens happened to become embroiled in an examination fraud case. Your father rushed you into marriage because he was afraid you'd keep throwing yourself onto the blade.”

“Impossible. Xuerong said Prince Ning had coerced her. She never wanted to marry into his household.”

“You don't even know who defeated you, yet you have the gall to call those three years in Lingnan a tale of love forged through hardship?”

His face went from white to red.

Nothing offended him more than being called a fool.

“I promised I wouldn't let her suffer over her status.”

“Then give her the position of lawful wife. As long as you refuse to let me leave, this coequal wife of yours will never be more than an empty title.”

He came partway around the desk, as though searching my face for signs that I was merely sulking.

“You used to hope I'd come back. The winter clothes and medicinal supplies sent back from Lingnan each year—weren't you the one who prepared them?”

“We were still married, and you'd been demoted over official business. I didn't want outsiders laughing at either the Gu or the Lu family. I was doing my duty, not agreeing to spend my life alone in an empty room for you.”

He lowered his voice.

“I was ill once. Xuerong nursed me for three days and nights.”

“Then she suffered with you, and you should marry her. I'm not stopping you.”

“But why must you leave?”

I pushed the page I was holding toward him.

It recorded every sum the Gu family had taken from my dowry over the past three years. Even the medicinal supplies he had used in Lingnan were carefully listed.

“Because you all take my sacrifices for granted, while hers are proof of undying love. If you cannot see me, I needn't stay here waiting for you to notice.”

He stared at the page. His lips moved several times. In the end, all he managed was, “We're husband and wife. Why keep such exact accounts?”

I took the book back.

“When you need my money, we're husband and wife. When she needs a title, I'm supposed to know my place. Gu Huaizhang, your principles only apply when you stand to gain.”

“Lu Mingqi, you're as bitter as ever.”

“If I were a little gentler and more obedient, I'd have to raise your children, pay your bills, and bear the disgrace for you. Is that it?”

Unable to answer, he turned away in anger.

I followed him to the door.

“Gu Huaizhang, this marriage saved you too. Do you really mean to keep me trapped here for the sake of your reputation until I die?”

He paused, but never turned.

“Behave yourself, and life won't be difficult.”

The courtyard gate closed behind him.

This was the life he offered me: no arguments, no resistance, no leaving. I was to watch him live as husband and wife with another woman.

Unfortunately for him, I did not want it.

5.

Early the next morning, my mother-in-law summoned me to discuss the wedding feast.

Six days hence was an auspicious date, she said. The Gu family would invite their friends and relatives and formally announce Shen Xuerong's position and acknowledge the children.

“You will arrange the feast.”

Her voice was unusually gentle.

“Borrow the cooks from Linjiang Restaurant, and take a little more money from your shops. If the Gu family does this properly, it will reflect well on you as the eldest daughter-in-law.”

“Linjiang Restaurant does not belong to the Gu family,” I reminded her. “To borrow its cooks, we'd have to ask Princess Changning…”

The restaurant was a business Princess Changning and I had opened together.

The Gus knew only that I managed its accounts for the princess. They did not know I owned a share.

I sipped my tea.

“Closing Linjiang Restaurant for a day would cost at least eight hundred taels. Add ingredients, wine, an opera troupe, and the banquet itself, and it will take no less than eight thousand.”

My mother-in-law's expression changed.

“All we're doing is borrowing a few cooks. Why should it cost so much?”

“A few tables for a family meal would cost much less, of course. But what you want is a show of prestige for the whole capital to see.”

Gu Mingzhu interrupted.

“You manage the restaurant. What's so difficult about borrowing it for a day? Money you earn after marrying into the Gu family ought to belong to us anyway. Our family protects your business. Isn't it only right to repay us?”

“When has the Gu family ever protected it?”

I opened my account book.

“When people caused trouble at my shop, Princess Changning sent someone to deal with them. When a cargo boat was detained, my uncle intervened. The Gu family has never contributed a single person or coin. On the contrary, Gu Mingzhu took six sets of clothes from my shop last year, and the bill remains unpaid.”

Gu Mingzhu flushed.

My mother-in-law hurried to smooth things over.

“We're all family. Why keep such exact accounts?”

“All the more reason to settle them, since we won't be family much longer.”

She froze.

“What do you mean?”

I smiled.

“I can pay… in exchange for a divorce agreement signed by Gu Huaizhang.”

Everyone's expression changed.

“Eight thousand taels for a little prestige. The Gu family wouldn't lose out. You can use my money to welcome Shen Xuerong into the household, and I can take my divorce agreement and establish a home of my own. We'd each get what we wanted.”

My mother-in-law's fingers shook with anger.

“You insist on a divorce?”

“Yes.”

“I… I only asked you to help the family once, and you threaten us with your marriage!”

“Yesterday you wanted me to accept this woman and her children. Today you want my money. Prestige, reputation, silver—you can't bear to give up any of it. Yet you have no difficulty letting me suffer every indignity.”

Gu Huaizhang had been silent all this time. Now he spoke.

“I'll find the money for the feast.”

“I know exactly how much your salary is. Don't end up taking it out of my accounts.”

Shen Xuerong bit her lip, her eyes red.

But the look she gave me did not seem sorrowful. It seemed she hated me for exposing the hollowness of the splendor she wanted.

I closed the book.

“After today, a divorce agreement will no longer be worth eight thousand taels. Think it over.”

Gu Mingzhu followed me into the corridor and muttered that I cared for nothing but money.

I stopped and turned.

“You marry next month. If your husband's family took your dowry to help him acquire a concubine, would you agree?”

For a moment, she could not speak. Then she said stiffly, “My husband would never do that.”

“Before your brother came home, I never imagined the Gu family would force me to use my dowry to help him marry someone else either.”

My mother-in-law heard us from inside and immediately called her back, plainly afraid I would take the opportunity to add the debt for those six sets of clothes to the wedding bill.

As I passed through the moon gate, I heard Gu Huaizhang say he would borrow from his colleagues.

Minister Gu immediately forbade it. His son had only just been reinstated; he did not want him acquiring a reputation for extravagance and factional dealings.

Then Shen Xuerong softly offered to sell one of her gold hairpins.