Chapter 1

For three years, my relationship with my boyfriend, CEO Pei Chuan, had been a secret. He always insisted he kept work and his personal life separate.

On the high-speed train taking our company on a National Day trip, the new assistant felt motion-sick.

Pei Chuan took my handbag and tucked it behind her back.

“She’s not feeling well. Let her use your bag for support.”

He never even looked at me.

Pain suddenly gripped my chest. I couldn’t breathe. Cold sweat soaked my clothes.

“Pei Chuan… my medication is in the bag…”

I held my chest and tried to reach him.

The assistant edged closer to him.

“Ms. Ye really doesn’t look well. Is she angry because you gave me her bag?”

Pei Chuan frowned and bent down, lowering his voice.

“I know you feel hurt, but I have to avoid gossip. Could you stop pretending to be ill and fighting for my attention in front of my staff?”

I could no longer speak. I could only grasp his suit jacket, begging for help.

He jerked it away and looked down at me.

“Go sit between the carriages. Come back when you’ve calmed down.”

My hand slipped from his jacket. I fell into the aisle, and my awareness began to fade.

At last, the love we had kept out of the sunlight ended with my life.

…

“Stop pretending. Isn’t that floor cold?”

Pei Chuan’s voice came from above.

I floated in the air, watching him seize my limp arm.

He dragged me toward the vestibule between the carriages.

“Mr. Pei, maybe Ms. Ye really is ill. Should we let her have my seat?”

Bai Meng settled into the seat he had just vacated, her voice timid.

Yet there was a hint of triumph in her expression.

“She thinks being a longtime employee gives her the right to be petty.”

He didn’t bother looking back.

“All this over lending someone a bag for a little back support. She’s been spoiled rotten.”

My colleagues turned away, avoiding looking at me.

A few new employees began whispering.

“Ms. Ye usually seems so generous. Why’s she making such a fuss today?”

“It’s just some old bag. Bai Meng feels so sick. What’s wrong with lending it for a bit?”

“Mr. Pei’s right not to play favorites. This company isn’t her home. Does everyone have to cater to her?”

“Exactly. Look how pale she is. Pretty convincing act.”

Floating above them, I reached for Pei Chuan’s face.

My fingers passed straight through the bridge of his nose.

During our three secret years together, he had tucked my freezing hands into his coat pockets to warm them in winter.

Now those hands, with their distinct knuckles, held only coldness. Work and personal life, neatly separated.

There was a heavy thud.

He threw my body onto the metal floor between the carriages.

He even lifted his leather shoe and kicked my curled legs straight.

“Lie there and think about what you’ve done.”

He stood over my closed eyes.

“You can return to your seat when you’ve learned to think of everyone else.”

A female attendant happened to pass with a refreshment trolley.

Seeing me motionless on the floor, she stopped in alarm.

“Sir, her face is blue. Is she ill?”

She bent down to check my breathing.

“Leave her alone.”

Pei Chuan knocked her hand away.

He pulled a hundred-yuan note from his wallet and tossed it onto the trolley.

“Two bottles of water. Keep the change.”

His voice was icy.

“My employee’s throwing a tantrum. Let her calm down. Stay out of other people’s business.”

Holding the money, the attendant looked at me uncertainly.

“But she really doesn’t look well. Her lips are purple…”

“I said she’s fine.”

He cut her off coldly.

“If anything happens, I take full responsibility.”

The train rounded a bend and shook violently.

My head struck the metal doorframe.

The dull impact was sickening.

The attendant cried out and covered her mouth.

Pei Chuan didn’t even turn around.

He unscrewed a water bottle and went back to the warm first-class carriage.

Passing Bai Meng, he handed her the opened bottle.

“Have some water. Settle your nerves.”

His voice was suddenly gentle.

“Don’t worry about her. She’ll come to her senses.”

Bai Meng took it and nodded obediently.

“Thank you, Mr. Pei. If Ms. Ye’s angry with me, I’ll apologize to her later.”

“There’s no need.”

He sat down and opened his tablet.

“The workplace isn’t somewhere to air your personal feelings. If she can’t take a little disappointment, she isn’t suited to her current position.”

“But she’s been with you for three years.”

Bai Meng bit her lower lip, seeming to hesitate.

“No one is irreplaceable.”

Pei Chuan swiped the screen.

“She’s getting worse at knowing what matters. She needs to be taught a proper lesson.”

I hovered between the carriages.

My chest no longer rose or fell. The hem of my clothes trembled in the cold draft.

Pei Chuan, you always said I didn’t know what mattered.

To protect your reputation, I had moved every hospital follow-up appointment to the weekend.

To help you look fair in front of your employees, I had voluntarily given up two promotions.

Now you had taken even my right to breathe.

“Hey, look. Why isn’t Ms. Ye moving?”

A male colleague leaned out toward the vestibule.

“Has she really fainted?”

“She’s pretending.”

Pei Chuan didn’t look up.

“She’s pulled this before. Ignore her. When she’s lain there long enough and gets embarrassed, she’ll crawl up herself.”

The vestibule was bitterly cold. Wind kept whistling through the gaps around the door.

I floated above my body, watching my skin change in the cold air.

Purple-blue patches of lividity appeared on my pale cheeks and the backs of my hands.

Bai Meng strolled over with a steaming cup of hot water.

She stood above my body and studied it for a while.

“Ms. Ye, the floor’s cold. Have some hot water to warm yourself up. Stop lying there.”

She wasn’t loud, but everyone in the carriage could hear her.

I didn’t answer.

The train gave a slight jolt.

Bai Meng smiled coldly and tilted the paper cup.

Scalding water poured over the purple back of my hand.

“Oh! I’m sorry, Ms. Ye! I didn’t mean to!”

She cried out theatrically, making everyone turn.

Blisters rose across my hand. My body didn’t react at all.

Bai Meng crushed the softened paper cup and took half a step back.

A trace of panic entered her voice.

“Ms. Ye… don’t scare me…”

Pei Chuan rushed over at the commotion.

He immediately pulled Bai Meng behind him, shielding her without giving me a glance.

“Were you burned?”

He asked her quietly.

“I’m fine, but Ms. Ye…”

Her trembling finger pointed at me on the floor.

His gaze followed it and stopped on my blistered hand.

He frowned deeply.

“Ye Tingxue, haven’t you caused enough trouble?”

Pointing at my motionless body, he shouted, “You’re even hurting yourself just to target a new employee?”

Colleagues crowded around.

At the sight of my lifeless body, someone muttered, “That’s blistered. Anyone else would’ve jumped up by now. Why hasn’t she even moaned?”

“Has something really happened?”

“What could possibly have happened?”

Pei Chuan sneered.

“You don’t know how many times she’s tried this.”

In front of the entire staff, he tore open my wounds without restraint.

“For three years, whenever I compliment another employee, she starts complaining of chest pain.”

“Faking illness during meetings, pretending to faint on company trips. Isn’t she just trying to get my attention?”

I floated above him, listening as he turned my desperate pleas to stay alive into tricks to win his affection.

My heart had stopped, yet I still felt an indescribable suffocation.

Pei Chuan, the pain had been real.

Every time I collapsed clutching my chest, I had been struggling on the edge of death.

You thought it was merely a clumsy performance for your attention.

A male colleague passed on his way to the toilet.

He tripped over the arm I had stretched into the aisle.

At the touch of its ice-cold skin, he fell to the floor in terror.

“M-Mr. Pei… why is Ms. Ye’s arm as cold as an ice pop?”

He stammered, his face even paler than mine.

Pei Chuan grabbed his collar and hauled him up.

“You’re acting along with her too?”

He glared at the employees around him.

“Is the whole company conspiring with her to challenge my authority?”

He let go and straightened his suit.

“Let me make this clear. Anyone who helps her up today needn’t come to work tomorrow!”

The man backed away, too frightened to say another word.

The crowd fell silent. No one dared look at me.

Behind Pei Chuan, Bai Meng secretly smiled in triumph.

Bending to adjust her skirt, she kicked my fallen handbag away.

It slid across the smooth floor and caught in the gap beneath the toilet door at the end of the aisle.

“Mr. Pei’s right. No one is to help Ms. Ye up without his permission.”

She announced it loudly.

He gave her an approving look.

“You’re the only one who understands the rules.”

He turned and walked steadily back to the carriage.

I watched his tall, straight back.

Then I looked at my blistered hand, which could no longer feel any pain.

Even my last ridiculous hope turned to ash.

The train entered the mountains and jolted sharply.

My body slid across the dirty metal floor.

My head struck the edge of a rubbish bin, leaving a dark red smear.

Pei Chuan, who had been resting with his eyes closed, woke at the sound.

He loosened his tie and approached the vestibule with his hands behind his back.

Seeing my wretched state, he paced in irritation.