Chapter 2

05

Mum called my name.

Then she stormed into my room and slapped me.

My ears rang. Darkness swam before my eyes.

When I could breathe again, I looked up at her, my eyes stinging.

“What have I done now, Mum?”

“Still playing innocent?”

Trembling with rage, she flung the things she’d found at my face. She made no attempt to hide her disgust.

“You shameless girl! Buying filthy things like these and hiding them in the bathroom!

“Tell me! You’ve been sleeping around, haven’t you? How many men?

“I should never have gone soft when you were born. I should have thrown you away!”

Oh, so she wanted to bring up my birth?

When she was pregnant with me, every supposed sign had pointed to a boy. She had been delighted.

Then I turned out to be a girl.

She had meant to leave me at the hospital.

Grandma stopped her. According to a fortune-teller, I would bring a younger brother into the family. And a daughter could always help look after him.

So they kept me.

Sure enough, my brother was born when I was one.

From then on, my life had one purpose: taking care of him.

Mum even delayed my schooling by a year so we would be in the same grade and I could watch over him.

I came first in the city in the midyear exams, but I was sent to a private school. Its headmaster had promised to admit my brother too if I enrolled.

Even then, I was grateful.

Without that little bit of “value,” I would probably have been sent out to work long ago.

I pulled myself out of the memory and met her eyes.

“Mum, those aren’t mine.”

Her face darkened. She raised her hand again.

“Only a girl would use these! If they aren’t yours, whose are they? Still arguing when the proof’s right here? I’ll teach you, you shameless little—”

This time, I dodged.

Her hand stopped in midair. Astonishment spread across her face.

It was the first time I had defied her.

Before, the slightest disobedience had brought the threat of taking me out of school.

To stay in class, to have a chance of escaping this house one day, I had endured her for more than a decade.

But I had already died once.

What was left to frighten me?

I held her startled gaze.

“I said they’re not mine. There are other people in this house. Why am I always the first one you suspect? Besides…”

I glanced at the things in her hand.

“Do you think I have the money to buy those?”

06

My brother’s allowance was a hundred yuan a day.

Mine was fifty a month.

We weren’t allowed to leave food uneaten at home. To save money, I skipped breakfast. When hunger made my vision blur, I drank cold water.

I bought the cheapest sanitary pads and counted them out to make them last.

I had thought about collecting recyclables after school to earn a little money.

But there was endless housework, and I had to help my brother with his homework.

I could barely scrape together enough time to sleep.

Still, Mum was always calling me an ungrateful brat.

The things she had found looked expensive. I might not have been able to buy them with a whole year’s savings.

Her expression changed.

She studied them, then seemed to remember something.

“So that’s it!

“Bringing some shameless woman home while I’m out! Just wait till I get my hands on you!”

She gathered everything up and rushed into the kitchen.

I followed quietly.

She searched the cupboards, found industrial adhesive and used it to tamper with the items. Then she added chilies.

A vicious little smile crept across her mouth.

“Seduce my husband, will you? I’ll make you regret it!”

When she had finished, she returned everything to its hiding place in the bathroom.

Then she spotted me at the door.

“If you breathe a word of this to your father, I’ll tear your mouth open and throw you out! Do you hear me?”

I nodded obediently.

“Don’t worry, Mum. I won’t say a thing.”

Oh, Mum.

I could hardly wait.

What would your face look like when you found out whose life you had ruined with your own hands?

07

My brother came home from next door again, bringing an unfamiliar smell with him.

This time, Wang followed him in.

He greeted Mum with a warm smile.

“Sorry to bother you so late. The power’s out at my place. The electrician says he can’t come till morning.”

Mum couldn’t have been more welcoming.

“Truyen Duc, don’t be silly. Gia Hao’s been looking so much healthier since you started helping him. I’m sure he’s grown taller too!

“Stay with us tonight. Phan Nhi!”

She glanced at me.

“You can sleep on the sofa. Clear your room for Uncle Wang.”

Before I could answer, Wang cut in.

“No need to put the girl out.”

He draped an arm over my brother’s shoulders.

“Gia Hao, how about I share your room? We can talk about training before bed.”

My brother flushed and nodded awkwardly.

“Yes, Mum. Uncle Wang can sleep in my room. Leave my sister alone.”

Mum saw nothing wrong.

“All right! Much simpler for two boys to share. Come and sit down. Let’s eat.”

Then she noticed me still standing there. Her face darkened, and she seized my arm and pinched it.

“Li Phan Nhi! What are you staring at? Get Uncle Wang a bowl and chopsticks!”

I swallowed the pain and went into the kitchen.

When I came back, I noticed Wang touching my brother under the table.

My brother stiffened and lowered his head, blushing. His chopsticks trembled.

Then he gave a startled cry and nearly jumped out of his chair.

“What is it, darling?”

Mum put down her chopsticks at once.

He stammered, panic in his eyes.

“N-nothing! Just… a cramp.”

Wang withdrew and smoothly supplied an explanation.

“Don’t worry. We worked his core too hard this afternoon. Didn’t stretch properly afterward. I’ll help him with that when we go back to his room.”

Mum was delighted. She placed a chicken wing in Wang’s bowl.

“Truyen Duc, you take better care of Gia Hao than his own mother does! Thank you.”

He glanced meaningfully at my brother.

“No need to thank me. Gia Hao’s practically my godson. Who else should look after him?”

He gave “godson” a peculiar emphasis.

Mum smiled and put the other wing in my brother’s bowl.

“Eat up, Gia Hao. Build your strength. You’ve been working so hard!”

Then she tossed the chicken’s fatty tail into mine.

“What are you waiting for? Eat. You can clean your brother’s room afterward.”

I took up my chopsticks in silence.

The corner of my mouth lifted.

Nobody would be sleeping tonight.