Chapter 1: The Year We Saved the Marquis's Daughter

That year, while fleeing disaster with Mother, I saved the legitimate daughter of a marquis's household.

She asked me, "Would you like a father?"

So her father became my father, and my mother became her mother.

Later, I secured the Empress's protection and became a Noble Consort. Then I pointed at the Crown Prince and asked her, "Would you like a husband?"

She gave me a home.

I gave her one too.

When I first met Gu Lingjia, she wasn't my little sister yet.

Her stepmother had deliberately had her pushed from a carriage. A group of refugees had caught her and were about to slaughter her like a two-legged sheep and cook her for food.

Terrified, I turned to pull Mother away.

But she was crying so pitifully. She looked only six or seven, even younger than me.

In the end, I couldn't leave her.

After a few steps, I told Mother to go ahead and find somewhere to hide, leaving marks along the way so I could find her.

She wanted to stop me. But after looking at Gu Lingjia's little figure and remembering what I could do, she let me go.

"Go. I'll wait for you."

I gripped the butcher's knife Father had left me and crept toward the men.

While they sharpened knives and gathered firewood, I quietly untied her from the tree.

"Don't make a sound. Come with me."

I pointed toward the river nearby.

She was so frightened that tears and snot covered her face, but she immediately fell silent and nodded.

I pushed her into reeds taller than my head, then dragged her forward as fast as I could.

"Even if you hear footsteps, don't look back. Run!"

"The little lamb's escaped!"

It didn't take them long to notice. They chased after the noise.

"This way!"

I pulled her on until we reached the riverbank.

Before us, a raging current. Behind us, a pack of vicious refugees.

"Big Sister, I'm scared!"

She trembled all over.

Such a little girl, standing at death's door. Yet instead of bursting into desperate sobs, she spoke to me with remarkable calm.

"Run, Big Sister. Don't worry about me. I'll only drag you down."

"We're going together!"

Without hesitation, I pulled her into the river.

It was late autumn. The water chilled us to the bone, but there was no time to care.

I wanted to live. I didn't want to watch her die either.

Instinctively, I held tight to her hand and swam toward the middle of the river…

"Two little lambs! They've jumped in! What now?"

"Wait! Wait for them to come ashore. Some of you, cross the bridge and block the other bank. Search upstream and downstream too. When we catch them, we'll cook them both. One isn't enough to eat. Two will be just right."

Their discussion carried from the bank, chilling me more than the water.

They were still waiting. I couldn't keep swimming across.

I pulled her into a spot hidden by water plants and whispered,

"Don't make a sound. We'll be all right after dark."

She nodded faintly. Shaking with cold, she didn't dare move, only clung to me like her last hope.

She was cold. So was I.

But I knew I couldn't panic. If even I lost my nerve, she would have no chance.

As the sky darkened, I realized we couldn't simply wait here to die.

The river kept getting colder. She was almost frozen.

I told her to grip a clump of reeds and not let go.

"Wait for me. I'll be right back."

Then I submerged myself and swam toward shore.

I slipped out of the water.

While two of the refugees had their backs to me, I drew my butcher's knife and stabbed them one after the other, from behind, into the waist and belly.

Sometimes killing a person wasn't so different from slaughtering a pig.

I'd begun helping Father slaughter pigs at eight.

This year, I was twelve. My knife rose and fell cleanly, without hesitation.

Then I dragged the two bodies into the river, letting the water conceal the evidence.

The others couldn't find their companions. Then they spotted blood on the reeds.

One was so frightened he wet himself.

"Blood! It's all blood! Run!"

Another took to his heels.

"Maybe some notorious bandit has come through! They're hidden, and we're out in the open. Forget those two-legged sheep. Run!"

They abandoned the fire and fled, scrambling over themselves.

Only after they'd gone far away did I bring the nearly frozen Gu Lingjia to the fire.

Its warmth slowly returned feeling to her limbs and clarity to her mind.

Her face was pale as she called to me.

"Big Sister, are we still alive?"

I nodded.

"We're alive."

After we'd warmed ourselves for a while, our clothes were almost dry.

Weak with hunger, she reached for the food in a chipped bowl.

I stopped her at once.

"Don't touch it. Whatever they've been cooking isn't anything good."

She drew back her hand and looked closely into the bowl.

Then she bent over, retching in horror.

It was a long time before she raised her head.

"Big Sister, what they cooked… could it be…?"

I nodded, put out the fire, and pulled her onward.

"Hold on a little longer. Let's find my mother. She still has some dry food in her bundle."

About seven minutes later, following Mother's marks, I found her in an abandoned temple.

She wasn't alone. Plenty of other refugees had taken shelter there.

Fortunately, none were the men I'd frightened away.

I brought Gu Lingjia to Mother and called softly,

"Mother, I found my little sister."

Mother didn't expose the pretense. She drew us into a corner.

Feeling our icy hands, she said with aching tenderness,

"I'm glad you found her."

The three of us huddled together beneath the thatch Mother had gathered.

Wind blew through the ruined temple from every side. At least there was a little warmth. We wouldn't freeze tonight.

Once the other refugees were asleep, Mother shook us awake. She secretly took half a large flatbread from her bundle and divided it between us.

"Eat quickly. Don't let anyone see."

Gu Lingjia was ravenous. She took great bites, crying as she ate.

Perhaps she'd lived in luxury from birth and never eaten such coarse food.

Perhaps it was because she'd nearly died that night.

Mother thought she was too hungry and afraid there wouldn't be enough. She took out a small piece of dried sweet potato and offered it.

"If you're still hungry, I have this. There isn't much, though."

Gu Lingjia shook her head and hugged Mother, speaking in a low voice.

"I've had enough. I'm just so miserable. My mother died, and Father remarried. My stepmother wanted me dead, so she deliberately ordered someone to push me off the carriage on the road."

Mother sighed and stroked her head.

"Poor child. If you don't mind, you can think of me as your mother for now."

Her eyes lit up.

"You'd be willing to be my mother?"

Mother nodded, only meaning to comfort her.

"Just for now. If you don't mind, you can pretend to be my daughter, and we'll travel together."

She turned to me.

"Then can you be my big sister? I don't have a sister or a younger brother. My own mother's gone, and Father's always busy with official business."

She looked so pitiful that I nodded.

"All right."

She stopped crying and smiled.

"From now on, I have a mother and a big sister!"

She told us many things that night.

Her name was Gu Lingjia. She came from the capital.

Her father was the reigning Marquis of Chong'an. Her late mother had been the legitimate daughter of a duke's household.

Mother and I were startled and hastily warned her,

"Keep your voice down. Don't let anyone hear!"

She looked disappointed.

"You don't believe me?"

I leaned close to her ear.

"I do. But you mustn't announce it. If people find out, that identity could get you killed."

She was only seven, after all. Some things she couldn't understand until I explained them.

Once she did, she grew afraid.

"What should I do now?"

I asked,

"Does your father have any close friends nearby? Or do you have relatives around here?"

She thought before answering.

"I don't know. I only know Father and Grandfather are both in the capital."

The capital was another two months' journey away.

Mother looked at me. I nodded.

"Mother, she's too young. I wouldn't trust her to anyone else. Let's take her back to the capital. We have nowhere to go anyway. We can try our luck there. Perhaps we'll find work."

Mother had always followed my wishes.

"All right," she said. "You decide."

So we called one another mother and daughters, smeared mud on our faces, and mingled with the refugees heading for the capital.

No carriage. No horses.

Only our feet.

We traveled by day and rested at night.

When tired, we stopped at a ruined temple or in the woods.

When hungry, we dug up roots and stripped bark to boil, barely managing to fill our stomachs.

On and on, we struggled along the edge of starvation.

At last, before hunger killed us, we reached the capital.

When we found the marquis's residence, Gu Lingjia was about to knock.

I pulled her back immediately.

"Don't. Your stepmother wanted you dead. She had a carriage, so she must have returned long ago and made her arrangements. You may not be able to enter safely. Let me ask around first."

After hiding her, I questioned people nearby.

"Why haven't I seen the marquis's daughter going out lately?"

A vendor answered,

"You're not from around here, are you? She died of illness in Jiangnan a few days ago. The household even erected a cenotaph for her. I hear the marquis fell ill over it and is still recovering. His wife runs everything now."

I repeated this to Gu Lingjia.

She burst into tears.

"What do I do now?"

I led her and Mother toward her maternal grandfather's home.

"We'll find your grandfather. They'll certainly want you alive."

After winding through the streets, we reached the duke's residence.

Again, I didn't let her immediately step forward to identify herself.

Instead, we waited for an elderly attendant who served the duke's wife to go out on an errand. We followed her quietly, then brought her before Gu Lingjia.

The old woman recognized her.

She cried the moment she saw her.

"You're alive, young miss! Thank Heaven you're alive! His Grace and Her Ladyship kept saying they must see you alive or see your body. Come back to the residence with me!"

Reassured, I let go of Gu Lingjia's hand.

She immediately took hold of mine and Mother's.

"Big Sister, Mother, come with me!"

Mother refused.

"No need. You go in."

But I had a selfish thought.

I'd saved the marquis's daughter. If the duke's or marquis's household was grateful enough to keep Mother and me as servants, that would be an incredible stroke of fortune.

I caught Mother's arm.

"Mother, she's frightened. Let's take her inside."