Chapter 1

By the time the marquis's household found me, I was twenty.

Other girls my age were already mothers. I didn't even have a marriage prospect.

Only after returning to the residence did I learn that I had been betrothed before I was born.

The girl raised in my place had married him instead.

She and the ducal heir loved each other and had children. Everyone praised their match as Heaven's own design.

When she met me, guilt overwhelmed her until she couldn't speak for crying.

My mother held and comforted her.

Before everyone, the heir promised that she would be the only woman he stayed with all his life.

I stood perfectly straight, as though I didn't care.

Only my hand, hidden in my sleeve, gripped the fabric until my knuckles ached and went numb.

That evening, Mother held my hand and advised me not to dwell on what could no longer be changed.

She had already considered several good families for me, she said. She would find me an even better marriage.

I looked at the fragrant osmanthus tree in the courtyard and thought of the pigs back home, with no one to feed them.

“Mother, I don't want to marry,” I said. “Let me go back.”

1

No one expected a chance encounter to uncover my birth.

The marchioness had traveled to a temple in Qingzhou to give thanks.

Caught in a sudden downpour, she sheltered in a roadside pavilion.

Just then, I passed outside carrying two baskets of pig fodder on a shoulder pole.

Through the rain, she saw my face and stared for a long time.

I looked very much as she had in her youth.

A few glances were enough to make her suspicious, but she said nothing then.

Back at the residence, she secretly had the past investigated.

Only when every clue fitted did she finally confirm that I was her biological daughter, lost for so many years.

Twenty years earlier, the marquis's position at court had been perilous.

Six months pregnant, she had taken her eldest son to Qingzhou for safety.

A sudden storm forced them to shelter in a ruined shrine.

Unexpectedly, she went into labor.

A lone peasant woman sheltering there also happened to give birth that day.

Seeing the woman helpless and crying out in pain, the marchioness told the midwife to attend her first and shared half her swaddling cloths.

The night was chaotic.

By dawn, both babies were wrapped in brocade, and the midwife could no longer tell which belonged to whom.

In a panic, she picked one at random and placed her in the marchioness's arms.

Only twenty years later did the midwife finally confess.

Then she died.

With her death, the marchioness had nowhere to direct her resentment.

She could only hold me tightly and weep.

“He'er, come back to the capital with Mother. I'll make it up to you.”

Standing in the leaky farmyard, looking at servants in silks and brocades filling the space, I couldn't think.

My adoptive parents had both died of illness when I was thirteen.

So I went with her to the capital.

She explained everything to the household.

Still half doubtful, the relatives took turns testing our kinship by mingling drops of blood.

The drops soon merged.

Father's eyes reddened. My elder brother sighed repeatedly.

Lin Wanrou, the young lady who had occupied my place, took my hand. After a long, choked silence, she said, “I'm sorry. I took twenty years that should have been yours.”

But my thoughts had wandered.

I could only study her face, which bore traces of both my adoptive father and mother.

Her palm was white and soft. Mine were rough, darkened, and callused.

Suddenly embarrassed, I instinctively withdrew my hand.

She paused. Her tears fell harder.

Mother gathered her close.

“Wan'er, this isn't your fault. The midwife was to blame. You're innocent too.”

Father patted her back.

“You're pregnant. You mustn't upset yourself and harm your health. Don't think too much.”

My brother agreed.

“Exactly. If Mother hadn't gone to Qingzhou, you'd still be the only young lady in this household.”

I stood alone beside them, not knowing what to do with my hands or feet.

As though I were the intruder who had ruined a harmonious family.

I understood their meaning: none of the living had done anything wrong.

So the twenty years of hardship I had endured could only be put down to bad luck.

There was nowhere to place my resentment.

If no one was to blame, perhaps I could blame only my own lack of good fortune.

Then the ducal heir who had married Lin Wanrou arrived.

He was handsome and refined, more striking than any noble young gentleman I had heard of in Qingzhou.

He sheltered her in his arms.

Standing together, they really did look like a beautiful couple from a painting.

“Jingzhao, my sister is the marquis's true daughter. The girl betrothed to you should have been her...”

Her voice grew smaller. Her eyes reddened.

Jingzhao immediately took her hand and drew her protectively toward him.

“What happened then had nothing to do with you. You needn't blame yourself.”

His voice was wonderfully gentle with her.

When he looked at me, his disgust was undisguised.

Perhaps he thought that after twenty years of suffering in the countryside, I had returned to reclaim my birthright and would naturally want this powerful marriage too.

He didn't see someone who had only just learned her origins and had scarcely caught her breath.

He saw a hostile intruder ready to take everything from Lin Wanrou.

His expression chilled. He pulled her farther behind him.

“The old betrothal may have been made with you, but Wanrou is the woman who married me and is entered in our genealogy. I respect and love her. The exchange of babies wasn't her fault. My family won't mistreat her for it.”

He paused, his gaze warning.

“If you insist on pursuing this, you'll only bring yourself misery. If you know your place, I won't withhold any compensation you're owed.”

I lowered my eyes to their clasped hands and felt only absurdity.

I hadn't even seen what that betrothal agreement looked like.

Yet he had already convicted me of returning to seize the position of his wife.

I looked up and answered calmly.

“You worry too much, my lord. You and Miss Lin have performed the wedding rites. She's your wife. I don't think so little of myself that I'd fight for another woman's husband. As for compensation, you needn't trouble yourself.”

Apparently not expecting that reply, he frowned slightly.

He said no more, but remained wary, as though convinced I was retreating to advance.

Lin Wanrou gently tugged his sleeve.

“Jingzhao, let's go. My sister has only just returned. She must already be distressed. Don't press her further.”

Only then did his face soften.

He put an arm around her shoulders, murmured comfort, and took her away.

After they disappeared, Mother took my hand and sighed.

“He'er, Jingzhao and Wan'er grew up together. Their feelings run deep. A marriage must depend on mutual affection. Outsiders can't force it.”

When he had humiliated me, she hadn't spoken one word in my defense.

Now they were gone, she was advising me not to persist.

I slowly withdrew my hand.

“Don't worry, Mother. I've never intended to force anyone.”

At last reassured, she patted my shoulder.

“Good. I knew you'd always been a sensible child.”

I lowered my eyes and said nothing.

We had known each other only a few days. How could she know whether I was sensible?

What she meant by sensible was that I should swallow every grievance, neither compete nor complain.

And so I stayed.

I wore brocades I once wouldn't have dared touch, and delicate, soft embroidered shoes.

Mother brought fine scented creams and face powder, saying a girl should cherish her looks instead of leaving herself exposed to sun and wind.

Everything in the residence was good.

Yet at night, on the broad, soft bed, I lay awake until dawn.

Mother came to talk again, delighted to tell me she had chosen a fine young man.

Listening, I looked at the fragrant osmanthus beyond the window and thought of my unattended pigs.

“Mother, I don't want this marriage. Please let me go home.”

2

She wouldn't let me return to Qingzhou.

“Those animals would hardly fetch any silver. Before we left, I gave them to your neighbors.”

But I had raised every pig myself.

I knew which was greedy and which liked to butt the pen at night.

I wanted to explain that it wasn't the sale money I missed.

But I didn't know how. I could only bow my head and remain silent.

Seeing my reluctance, she softened.

“If you truly can't let go, I'll send someone to bring them here. You can still raise them. This residence is large enough. We'll find somewhere.”

Put that way, she really could be considered thoughtful.

If I still insisted on leaving, I would seem ungrateful.

I had to nod.

She watched me a while, then suddenly asked, “He'er, are you finding it hard to adjust to life here?”

I shook my head.

It wasn't that.

Here, I didn't have to work in the fields or rise before dawn to feed pigs.

Fine smokeless charcoal burned endlessly in my room. The table held dishes I had never seen.

Even the maids knew more than the local landowner's daughter back in the county.

In their free time, they gathered beneath the covered walkway to read storybooks.

Once, curious, I joined them.

The pages were crowded with characters.

I couldn't recognize a single one.

They smiled and comforted me.

“No one taught you before, miss. It doesn't matter that you can't read. Now you're here, you can learn little by little.”