Chapter 4

“But now fate has given you a second choice. You have a reason to keep living.”

He looked up suddenly, his longing impossible to hide.

“You said you'd help me. How?”

“I'm your defense lawyer. My duty is to obtain the best possible outcome for you within the law.”

I lowered my voice.

“Everyone else involved is dead.

“To a large extent, what the truth becomes depends on what we say.

“But first, I need to know all of it.

“Only then can I construct an account that's coherent and stands up to scrutiny.”

I held his gaze meaningfully.

“If you want to live, this is your only way.”

He lowered his head, looked at the handcuffs around his wrists, and exhaled as if an immense weight had lifted.

“All right… I'll tell you.

“There was no taking the blame for anyone. I killed Wang Kai.”

Then his voice changed.

“But there's another secret behind Jiang Nansheng's death.”

Word by word, he revealed a chilling truth.

“Nansheng didn't kill herself.

“My brother, Qin Zhu, killed her.”

I thought I was prepared. Hearing that cold conclusion still sent a chill through me.

I controlled myself and let him continue.

His account took me back to a night of evil more than a decade earlier. A night no one wanted to remember.

10

Qin Xuan's voice dropped as he entered that unbearable memory.

“My brother really did take the exam for me.”

My place at a prestigious university, my glittering student life—all of it came from his sacrifice.

I would owe him for the rest of my life.

It was the second semester of my first year, late spring turning into summer. Nansheng and I were in love, lost in a world of our own.

The worries back home, my brother far away—I pushed them all aside.

One day, Qin Zhu suddenly came to Jinghai University. He said he wanted to visit.

I was surprised and delighted. I had arranged to have lunch with Nansheng, so I brought him along.

She came running over and, without hesitation, patted his shoulder.

“Been waiting long?”

She had mistaken him for me.

He stiffened.

Looking at her lively, delicate face, he blushed scarlet. His eyes darted away, and he didn't seem to know what to do with his hands.

I hurried over and explained that this was my brother, Qin Zhu, visiting me.

She realized her mistake and apologized repeatedly. Studying us curiously, she said our resemblance was incredible.

During lunch, he said nothing. Now and then, he stole a quick glance at her and immediately looked down again.

I knew that look.

The startled admiration of a man looking at a woman.

That night, we squeezed into a narrow bed at a guesthouse outside the university.

In the dark, he spoke first.

Our father wasn't well. Something was wrong with his lungs. He coughed often.

But it was all right, he said. He would look after him. I wasn't to worry.

A weight settled on my chest.

As a son and an older brother, I had been living far too easily.

Then we talked about university, my classmates, and Nansheng.

Admiration filled his voice.

“Your life is so good. So interesting. Nansheng… she's wonderful too.”

Guilt grew inside me like a tangle of vines.

After a long silence, I spoke into the darkness.

“Zhu, all of this should have been yours. You took the exam and got me in. I'm the one enjoying the life here…

“Aren't you angry? Don't you resent me?”

He protested immediately, urgently.

“What are you saying? How could I be angry? I wanted to help! You're my brother!

“I… I just need one more year to study. Really!”

The more he said it, the more desperately I wanted to make it up to him.

An absurd, reckless idea had been forming in me for some time.

“Zhu, do you… like Nansheng?”

He sounded frightened and denied it at once.

“No! I don't! I…”

I interrupted, deliberately keeping my tone light.

“It's all right. It's natural to like her. She's wonderful.”

I paused, then offered the repayment that would drag us all into the abyss.

“How about this? Tomorrow… pretend to be me and go on a date with her. Just for a day.”

“What?”

He sat bolt upright in the dark.

“Have you lost your mind? We can't! It's wrong! Absolutely not!”

I sat up too and gripped his thin shoulders.

“What's wrong with it? We look exactly alike. She won't know!

“I owe you so much, Zhu. It's only a date. It hardly counts.

“Romantic love is something outside us. We're brothers. Blood is what matters! I don't mind at all!”

When he still hesitated, I pressed harder, half pleading, half insisting.

“Do it as a favor to me. Let me feel a little better. Please?”

At last, after all my persuasion, he fell silent.

I knew he was wavering.

Perhaps out of obedience to me. Perhaps out of longing for Nansheng.

The next day, I had him put on my clothes and imitate my way of speaking.

I asked Nansheng to come with me to see my brother off at the station.

When we met, she and my brother, pretending to be me, escorted me to the entrance.

Then he left with her, dressed as me, and began their date.

I wandered around the station all day, unsettled.

Part of me felt relieved, as if I had repaid a little of my debt.

Another part resented sharing someone and something precious.

That evening, as I was looking for somewhere to rest, my phone rang.

My brother.

His voice was choked, close to tears.

“Brother… I've done something! Something terrible!”

Dread rose in me.

“What happened? Where are you? Slow down!”

He gave me the name of a guesthouse and a room number. His voice shook so badly he could barely speak.

“I'm… I'm sorry…”

11

I ran there as fast as I could.

The sight inside the room left me cold.

Nansheng lay motionless on the bed, her face pale. She was no longer breathing.

My brother sat on the floor, his face smeared with tears and mucus. He lunged forward, clung to my legs, and sobbed incoherently.

“Hit me! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…”

My mind went blank.

I forced myself to stay calm, seized his collar, and growled under my breath:

“What happened? Tell me clearly!”

Piece by piece, his broken, remorseful account gave me the story.

The date had gone smoothly. Nansheng noticed nothing.

That evening, he brought her to the guesthouse.

Something in the room gave him away. He didn't know what.

She realized the man before her wasn't Qin Xuan.

Shocked and furious, she shouted at him. She would go to the police and report him for rape.

He panicked.

His university entrance exam was approaching. He dreamed of entering a prestigious university, just as I had.

If she reported him, his dream would be destroyed. He might go to prison. His whole life would be ruined.

In terror, he grabbed a pillow and pressed it over her mouth and nose.

By the time he understood what he was doing, she had stopped struggling.

I went cold.

I looked at her body on the bed, then at my brother, shaking uncontrollably.

After the first terrible surge of grief and fury, a dark thought rose from deep inside me.

All those years, I had owed him.

Now he had killed the woman I loved.

He owed me more.

I was no longer the useless older brother who depended on him for everything.

I too could make a tremendous sacrifice to protect him.

I drew a deep breath, pulled him to his feet, and slapped his face firmly.

“Listen, Zhu! Calm down! I don't blame you. I'll take care of it!”

I quickly checked the room and erased the signs of our presence.

Then I took Nansheng's phone and, imitating her voice, composed a despairing suicide note and saved it in her drafts.

By the time I finished, it was late.

We found an old sack used for bedding and put her inside.

My brother was stronger. He did most of the carrying.

Avoiding main roads and surveillance cameras, we went to the artificial lake.

The shore was deserted.

I watched carefully until I was sure no one was around. Trembling, my brother lifted her stiff body from the sack.

Without hesitation, I helped him push her into the black water.

A dull splash. Ripples spread.

Nansheng disappeared.

With the secret of that night, she sank to the cold bottom of the lake.