Chapter 5

“I promise it won't happen again.”

But what followed was one assault after another.

For almost a year, I tried to help him get better. His condition didn't improve.

It grew worse.

My love and patience were worn away.

At last, unable to bear it any longer, I decided to go abroad.

I had majored in Spanish and studied overseas before. Living abroad on my own would be easy enough.

But sooner or later, people come home.

And Mạnh Tuyền kept calling to tell me he had recovered.

A year later, I went back to him.

By then, he was a university lecturer.

He was delighted to have me back. For three whole months, he looked after me with extraordinary care.

It was the longest peaceful stretch we ever had.

Sometimes I truly believed he had changed.

Then one day, a journal rejected his paper.

It was a December evening, snowing heavily.

We were having dinner when his phone rang.

One moment, we were chatting and laughing.

The next, his smile disappeared. His brows drew together slightly, and a chill seemed to settle around him.

That familiar change made my heart clench.

After that, everything played out like a film I had seen over and over.

My life returned to hell.

That night, I lay on the freezing floor, cold seeping into my bones.

Even when he opened the door and went out, I didn't move.

There was only one thought in my head.

Divorce.

The next day, I sent him a message saying I wanted a divorce.

He didn't reply.

He didn't come home either.

That didn't stop me hiring a lawyer and having a divorce agreement drawn up.

My mind was made up. If he wouldn't consent, I would take him to court.

He was violent. My chances of winning were good.

For several days, there was no word from him.

Then, on the fifth night after he left, he suddenly called and told me to meet him at the university the following day.

He said he had been busy with experiments and wanted to talk in person.

I thought talking at the university would be better than at home.

At least he wouldn't dare behave outrageously there.

So I took the agreement to him the next day.

When I reached the laboratory, his class wasn't over.

Through the glass, I saw him in his white coat, his expression mild, a smile on his lips.

Students crowded around him, chattering and asking questions.

I had to admit it. In public, he really did look like a courteous, cultivated teacher.

A beast in human clothing.

That evening, we discussed the divorce in the lab.

He sounded utterly sincere. He even invoked his position as a university lecturer to persuade me to stay.

Only then did I understand why he had summoned me there.

He wanted me to see how admired he was at the university, hoping I would change my mind.

But I refused firmly.

I had a long life ahead of me. I wasn't going to bury it beside an unstable madman.

I took out the divorce agreement and pushed it toward him.

He went still, then ran his hands through his hair and clutched his head, his face full of anguish.

After thinking for a long time, he finally forced out a single word.

“All right.”

He began reading the terms carefully and asked me to tidy the lab while he did.

A weight lifted from my heart.

I gladly agreed.

I never imagined that such a small, seemingly unimportant favor would become a lifelong nightmare.

That it would take away every scrap of courage I had to escape, leaving me willing to remain in that cage of hell.

“Are you crying?”

The voice beside me pulled me out of my memories.

Only then did I realize Dương Trác was standing beside the bed.

The light was on.

“I...”

I started to deny it, but when I touched my face, I found it wet with tears.

I took the tissues he offered and wiped them away carelessly.

“I'm fine.”

“A dead person isn't much different from a dead pig.

“There's nothing to be scared of.”

I hadn't expected him to know how to comfort anyone.

Even if he was rather clumsy at it.

“Thank you,” I said.

Then I added, “But it doesn't change the fact that I still suspect Lâm Thanh Thần.”

“Do you have evidence?”

“No.

“But he did lie.”

What on earth had he bought a wig and makeup for on the night Mạnh Tuyền died?

I couldn't understand it.

All I knew was that something about him wasn't right.

“If you suspect him, prove it.

“If you don't have evidence, please don't spread stories when you return to the village.

“People there gossip.

“I don't want my friend hurt.”

“I won't falsely accuse an innocent person.”

He went back to the sofa.

We said nothing more.

Eventually, I drifted off.

When I woke the next morning, he had gone.

There were several missed calls on my phone, all from Mạnh Tuyền's mother.

I called her back.

His father had fallen and broken his leg. She wanted me to come and help for a few days.

For all my hatred of Mạnh Tuyền, his parents had treated me well.

They had just lost their son. I didn't want to be heartless.

I packed a few things and returned to the village.

After checking on my father-in-law and helping with the housework, I ate and sat talking with my mother-in-law.

From her, I happened to learn that Dương Trác had returned that day too.

And he had fought with Lâm Thanh Thần.

“That Lâm boy is a sly one.

“Always has such a cold face.

“Nobody likes him.”

Lâm Thanh Thần, sly?

I hadn't noticed that at all.

If anything, Dương Trác was the cold, taciturn one.

She went on, “He started that fire at our house too.”

The fire.

I remembered.

A few years earlier, their house really had caught fire.

I had just lost my baby and was recovering, so I hadn't paid much attention.

I hadn't realized Lâm Thanh Thần had caused it. I'd always thought it was an accident.

“Is there any evidence?” I asked, borrowing Dương Trác's tone.

My mother-in-law waved a hand.

“The police investigated.

“They couldn't find anything.

“That's why I say he's sly.

“And this time, with Tuyền Tuyền... I wonder...”

She began wiping her eyes again.

I offered a few words of comfort, then took my phone and went out.

Cicadas filled the summer night in the countryside.

Beyond the houses, the road was pitch-black.

Following my memory, I found Lâm Thanh Thần's home. I wanted to talk to him.

The iron gate stood ajar.

A light was still on in the courtyard, its warm yellow glow spilling through the gap.

I called several times.

No answer.

For some inexplicable reason, I pushed the gate open and went in.

Passing through two successive doorways, I finally saw him in the bedroom.

“Lâm—”

I had barely begun before I clapped a hand over my mouth in alarm.

He was sitting in front of a mirror, wearing a long black wig and applying lipstick.

Several lotus flowers stood beside the table.

He wore a blue floral dress.

The bruises on his arms stood out starkly.

The sight of him carefully putting on makeup before the mirror was deeply unsettling.

I stared, my heart pounding, then began backing away as quietly as I could, afraid to alert him.

Crash!

I accidentally knocked a bottle of liquor off a table.

The breaking glass immediately drew his attention.

He turned slowly and looked expressionlessly at me, his uninvited guest.

Then he lowered his gaze to the table.

A gleaming fruit knife lay there.

He looked at it for several seconds, but didn't pick it up.

His bedroom was brightly lit. The living room where I stood was completely dark.

Cold sweat broke out all over me.

I wanted to disappear into that darkness.

“Mrs. Mạnh...”

He spoke first, as politely as ever.

I wanted to ask why he was dressed like that, but fear left me speechless.

He rose.

“Please sit down for a moment. I'll go wash my face.”

The moment he left, I rushed into the bedroom, intending to put the knife away.

But something else caught my eye.

A color photograph of a girl.

Almost against my will, I picked it up and studied it.

She wore a blue floral dress, her hair in two braids, and stood beside a lotus pond, beaming at the camera.

This girl...

This girl...

That single smile struck me like lightning. The shock went on reverberating through me.

Fortunately, after all the recent upheavals, I had grown better at keeping calm.

By the time he returned, I had composed myself.

“I'm sorry. Did I frighten you?”

He had changed and removed his makeup, once again the bright, gentle young man I knew.

“Why were you dressed like that?”

I didn't understand.

He poured me a glass of water. As he handed it over, I noticed him avoiding my eyes.

“Just for fun. It doesn't mean anything.”

“So the night Mạnh Tuyền died... were you having this sort of ‘fun’ too?”

He nodded.

“You could call it a hobby.”

He looked out into the darkness, his turned back somehow lonely.

He really wasn't good at lying.

I didn't press that question. Instead, I spoke plainly.

“The truth is, I came tonight because I still think you're the killer.”

“I know. You've suspected me all along.”

His response made me feel awkward.

I looked at the bruises on his arms.

“You fought with Dương Trác? Why? Aren't you close friends?”

“What's so strange about a couple of guys having a fight?”

At last, I understood that I would never get what I wanted out of him.

He was polite and quite mild, but that calm evasiveness was precisely what made him impossible to deal with.

Perhaps that was why my mother-in-law called him “sly.”

I asked nothing more and got up to leave.

That night, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

I kept imagining that he had lied to me, that he might even try to kill me before morning.

But the night passed, and I lived to see the dawn glow red.

Soon afterward, the police called again.

Officer Trần's low voice came down the line.

“Ms. Lý, do you know about a first-year student at A University who died seven years ago? We understand Mạnh Tuyền taught her.”

I took my phone out of the courtyard.

After a long silence, I answered, “No.”

“The girl's name was Ngô Duyệt. Are you sure you don't remember anything?”

The hot summer wind tossed my hair.

I pushed it aside and shook my head again.

“No. I've never asked about Mạnh Tuyền's work at the university.”

He didn't question me further.

After I hung up, I fell apart.

I followed the concrete road to its end and turned onto a path through the fields.

Around one bend after another, my pace quickened until I was running like a madwoman.

Wind roared in my ears.

I had never felt so free.

I knew.

This day had to come.

The truth could be concealed for a while, but eventually it would come to light.

It was me.

I had caused that girl's death.