Chapter 8

"Mother, don't go. I'll pour your tea. I'll listen to everything you say."

Chunxiu's hands stopped around the chest she was carrying.

I stopped too.

That word, "Mother," truly made my heart ache.

But once the pain passed, I walked on.

"I don't need you to obey me."

"Obey the court's judgment. Listen to the manager who hires you. Finish the work you're supposed to do."

Chu Xing stood dazed on the step.

The clan elder grew anxious.

"Lady Bai, you can't leave him without any way back!"

Chu Xing suddenly shook off his hand.

"Who said in the first place that I was the heir, so the estate naturally belonged to me?"

The elder's face changed.

"Wasn't I doing it for your sake?"

"For me? You won't even keep me for a meal!"

They began arguing loudly in the courtyard.

I lifted my skirt and stepped over the threshold.

This time, I didn't turn back to tidy up their mess.

I used only three carriages when I moved.

The accounts that had once supported the whole residence had been handed over. What remained were chests of clothes, books, a few old possessions, and the half of my dowry that was mine to keep.

Chu Xing chased me beyond the gates and grabbed the carriage shaft.

"Mother, just love me one last time."

I lifted the curtain.

The triumphant air of a privileged young man had vanished from his face.

I'd once taken pleasure in that confidence. I'd thought the money I earned could spare him from ever having to bow his head.

Only later did I understand: those who never need to bow are often the quickest to use someone else's spine as a stepping stone.

"I've loved you for twenty-one years."

I looked at his arm gripping the shaft.

"It's time I cared for myself too."

The driver flicked his whip lightly. Chu Xing had to let go.

I lowered the curtain. Chunxiu placed a soft cushion behind my lower back.

The injury had healed, but she still remembered.

I took her hand.

The small house in the south of the city was an old property from my dowry. An untended grapevine covered the courtyard wall.

That first night, I slept deeply.

No ledgers arrived at midnight. No relatives came asking for money before dawn. No one called through the door to tell me whose dignity I had to preserve that day.

In early winter, the Ministry of Revenue sent the final approved receipt.

The donated silver had entered the treasury. Grain had been distributed to the disaster-stricken regions. The land and shops had been inspected and accepted.

Then an imperial messenger arrived.

For donating wealth to aid the people, the court conferred on me the title of Lady Shushen.

Kneeling beside me, Chunxiu wept so hard that her shoulders shook.

I accepted the patent and slowly traced the name with my fingertips.

Bai Yahan.

This time, the honor written above it wasn't tied to a husband or son.

Later, Xu Cheng came to visit. He said Chu Xing was keeping accounts at a freight wharf. Enough of his wages was retained for food. Each month, the rest went toward restitution. With his debt still unpaid, the manager wouldn't let him play the pampered young master. One wrong entry, and he had to copy it again.

At last, he understood that silver didn't appear merely because he held out his hand.

Chu Chu gave birth in prison. The Zhou family took the child to raise, while she continued serving her sentence. She sent a letter asking me to intercede. I answered only that the judgment should be followed.

With no one to inherit it, the imperially granted residence was reclaimed under a court order. The clan relatives packed their belongings and returned to the ancestral fields they hadn't been willing to touch.

They still had their property.

They simply no longer had a Bai Yahan to fill every hole for them.

When spring came, I set several tables outside my little house and taught girls who wished to learn how to read contracts and keep accounts.

The youngest asked whose name should go at the head of the ledger.

I handed her the brush.

"It's your ledger. Write your own name first."

Outside the window, new buds appeared on the grapevine.

I opened my new ledger too and neatly wrote the three characters of my name.

Bai Yahan.

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