Chapter 10

It illuminated the drunken figure on the floor.

And the wine-soaked brocade pouch and jade pendant at his waist.

Pei Yan suddenly remembered all the things Li Shenbi had once sent him.

He ordered the servant to bring them all. The young man hesitated, afraid to answer.

“After your troubles began, master, the matriarch hated your cousin so much that she ordered us to burn everything of hers…”

“What about this one?”

Pei Yan asked abruptly, “Did she really make this?”

He gripped the fan case. With those shadowed eyes, he looked like a vengeful ghost.

The servant’s legs gave way. He knocked his head to the floor again and again, confessing.

“Yes… yes. I was careless. A candle flame caught the late master’s keepsake. Then I told your cousin it was something you loved very much… She helped make an identical replacement…”

So she truly had never lied to him.

From beginning to end, he had been the one who looked down on her in his arrogance and lofty self-regard, saying one thing while secretly yearning for another.

The liar had been him.

Pei Yan covered his eyes. The sound he made was half laughter, half sobbing.

Once, when her maid came, he had overheard a conversation beneath the corridor.

The maid had said, “This pouch is embroidered with the bright moon and green bamboo. To my mistress, her beloved is like the pure, noble moon…”

But the true moon had gone.

She was no longer obscured by dust.

Nor did she shine for him alone.

Never again would he be able to reach her.

News always traveled quickly through the city.

One day, people said the head of the Pei family was sick at heart and had little time left.

The next, they said the youngest Pei daughter had gone shopping and seen a veiled woman in blue whose figure resembled her enemy’s. She had started hurling abuse.

The stranger turned out to be a wandering swordswoman. She knocked out Pei Shan’s two front teeth on the spot, then left at her leisure.

I no longer wanted to concern myself with the Pei household.

But there was one person I couldn’t forget.

As the autumn equinox approached, the results of the female officials’ examination were announced.

I had come first. With that achievement and my mechanical horse, the Empress generously awarded me a high official rank.

Our household was preparing a celebration.

I picked up my brush, then put it down, unsure whether to invite Pei Ying.

In the end, she came to me first.

We had always laughed and chatted in the schoolroom.

Now, face to face, I didn’t know how to begin.

Pei Ying smiled and told me why she had come.

The letter my brother received had indeed been sent through her.

“I found your mechanical bird that day. I must have touched something, because it released a letter.”

“I knew how badly you’d been treated at the banquet. Rather than return the letter to you, I thought I should find someone to send it. So I asked my maternal uncle.”

“Shenbi, I didn’t know whether it had arrived. If it did, could you consider it a favor and help me with something in return?”

I had never seen such a pleading look in her eyes.

She humbled herself so far, yet all she wanted was the notes I’d made while preparing for the examination.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I smiled and teased her.

“How could that count as repaying a favor? If you want them, I’ll give you everything.”

“Ying, I know your ability. The Empress is recruiting talented people now. If I have the opportunity, may I recommend you?”

Pei Ying laughed softly.

Then she said, “No.”

“Don’t underestimate me, top scholar Li. You passed despite all the difficulties you faced in my home. Am I supposed to be less capable than you?”

A cool breeze filled our sleeves, making them flutter together.

Pei Ying quietly apologized for her brother and sister, her grandmother and mother.

“Our great-uncles in Hedong have written. They’re thinking of sending someone to take over the Pei family’s property in the capital.”

“I will pass the examination and obtain a post. Then our home won’t have to change hands. My sisters won’t have to live under someone else’s roof, and their marriages won’t be controlled by others.”

She said, “Shenbi, I heard your brother refused my brother’s proposal. I truly envy you.”

Pei Ying had long understood that the world offered two kinds of love to sisters and daughters.

One wished them freedom to choose their own path.

The other chose a path for them.

The Empress had only recently introduced the system of female officials. Though their family had not stopped them from taking the examination, it had always regarded literacy and an understanding of propriety as no more than gilding for girls awaiting marriage.