Chapter 7

"You haven't smiled at me like that in so long either."

"What were you talking about that made you so happy? Could you tell me?"

He spoke slowly, as though afraid to startle me.

An unhealthy flush colored his face.

I sighed.

Apparently, he had nothing else to say.

My car had arrived.

I got in and left.

14.

A few days later, I went for a follow-up appointment.

The doctor said I was recovering very well.

The sounds I could hear were growing clearer.

Ji Anyan waited by the entrance.

He came forward.

"How was it? What did the doctor say?"

"Very good."

"You don't need to follow me anymore."

His expression stiffened for an instant.

He hid it quickly.

"Guess who I saw today."

"Zhang. Our old classmate, whose family runs hotels. He's opened a noodle shop on his own. Says he wants to make his own way."

"Still as funny as ever…"

I looked down at my phone.

He paused, rallied, and kept smiling.

"He told me to bring you along for noodles. Asked when you were free."

"Xiao Cun, when…"

My driver called.

"Hello. I'm right by the entrance… Yes, I'm coming."

Then I hurried into the car.

Through the window, I saw Ji Anyan still on the steps.

People passed back and forth around him.

He didn't move.

The following evening, my friends celebrated my recovery.

We went out for a big meal.

It was very late by the time I got home.

As I approached my door, I heard hoarse coughing.

The corridor light was on.

"Xiao Cun."

Ji Anyan smiled at me.

"Why are you home so late?"

I looked at the roses in his arms.

They'd wilted.

I frowned and sighed helplessly.

"What do you want now…"

Sadness flickered in his eyes.

"Xiao Cun, I know I was wrong. Forgive me."

He kept pleading.

"Forgive me."

"I really know I was wrong."

He drew a deep breath and covered his face.

Moisture shone between his fingers.

I frowned.

"Xiao Cun, stop tormenting me."

"What are you imagining?"

I looked at him, baffled.

He froze and raised his head.

I watched him.

"I've never tried to torment you. You've been putting on this one-man show from the start, constantly circling me. What are you doing?"

"You're being a nuisance."

"Can't you see I don't want to deal with you? Why do you keep clinging to me, talking about one thing after another without stopping?"

He stared, pain slowly filling his face.

"Don't say that, Xiao Cun."

"I love you. I want to marry you. Didn't you want to marry me too?"

"We could…"

"Enough!"

My patience ran out.

"Stop bringing up the past! I don't want to marry you anymore. I don't love you anymore. Can't you feel that?"

He fell abruptly silent.

"How can that be…"

"We love each other…"

I rubbed my forehead.

"Ji Anyan, stop lying to yourself."

"You don't love me anymore. You're only doing this to prove something to yourself."

"That Mu Xueqing didn't seduce you. That you didn't cheat."

"No!"

He denied it at once.

"Xiao Cun, I love you."

"I love you…"

A violent fit of coughing doubled him over.

I stepped back in distaste.

Then quickly went around him and into my apartment.

15.

He stayed outside my door all night.

When I came out the next morning, he was still sitting there.

I didn't know what he was thinking.

The roses were still in his arms.

They'd long since lost every trace of life.

He looked sicker than ever.

Dazed.

Barely aware.

It took him a while to lift his head when he saw me.

He tried to take my hand, speaking almost deliriously.

"Xiao Cun… don't ignore me…"

His hand touched mine.

Startlingly hot.

I frowned at once.

"Xiao Cun… Xiao Cun…"

"Look at me… Xiao Cun… Talk to me. Please…"

His eyes were red.

He wasn't thinking clearly anymore.

I sighed.

"Ji Anyan, don't die outside my door."

"It's bad luck."

He froze.

Then suddenly burst into tears.

"Xiao Cun…"

I rubbed between my brows and called a friend of his to come and take him away.

Then I pulled my suitcase out and left.

16.

I went to the Arctic.

I saw glaciers.

Arctic foxes too.

It was every bit as beautiful as I'd imagined.

Half a month later, my trip ended and I came home.

A dried rose petal lay beneath my door.

Ji Anyan became a name other people occasionally mentioned.

From now on, he had nothing to do with me.

The noisy summer had passed.

My friends urged me to hurry out for hot pot.