Chapter 7

I had thought he saved her out of genuine feeling. I hadn’t imagined this was his plan.

After a long hesitation, I asked:

“Qingyi, what do you think about this?”

She lowered her eyes, her lashes moving softly.

“He saved my life. I ought to repay him.”

Despite her words, the melancholy between her brows deepened each day.

At night, beneath the lamp, she would write for a while and fall into a trance.

The day before the wedding, red silk filled the courtyard, bright as fire from a distance.

I carried water in and found her sitting blankly by the window again. She held her brush tightly, its ink long dried.

I stood at the door a moment, then went over and set down the basin.

“Qingyi, if you don’t want to marry, don’t.”

“Don’t trade your whole life for a debt of gratitude.”

Her lips moved, but she stopped herself.

I stepped closer, my voice firm.

“I’ll take you away.”

She stared.

“We can repay what we owe him gradually. Together, we’ll manage somehow.”

She watched me. Her cool eyes were first bewildered, then slowly softened and filled with a thin mist of tears.

At last, she smiled.

It was the first smile I had seen since meeting her.

“Awan, you understand me best.”

“Since I was little, my parents told me I would marry when I grew up. I obeyed and became a dutiful young lady. But I never wanted to marry.”

She hesitated, speaking very softly.

“Marriage is only going from one cage into another. But I couldn’t resist. I didn’t know what a woman could do besides marry.”

I reached for her hand.

“From now on, you can live for yourself.”

15

I packed two changes of clothes and some dried food into a small bundle and hung it over my arm.

At the door, I peered through the crack.

The men in black still stood beyond the courtyard wall like pillars. Flickering torches stretched their shadows.

To escape, we had to lure them away.

Hiding behind the door, I thought briefly and soon had an idea.

I put the bundle in Gu Qingyi’s arms and lowered my voice.

“I’ll draw them away. Watch for your chance and leave through the front gate.”

She gripped the bundle and frowned.

“What about you?”

“Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.”

I patted her hand and went into the courtyard before she could ask more.

Some clothes washed that day still hung on the rack. I pulled them down, balled them up, and threw them over the wall under cover of darkness.

They fell into the fields.

Then I went to the gate, looking troubled.

“Gentlemen, the wind blew my laundry over the wall. I need to fetch it.”

One immediately offered, “Stay here, miss. I’ll get it.”

“No, no.”

I waved quickly and blushed.

“They’re… personal things. I can’t trouble you.”

The men paused and exchanged glances.

Their leader coughed.

“Then… be quick.”

I agreed, lifted my skirt, and went toward the wall.

The fields were dark. I crouched and pretended to search, then called back.

“The wind carried them farther than I thought. I can’t see in the dark. Could you help?”

After a brief hesitation, they came over and spread out, bending to look in the grass.

I pretended to search while glancing toward the gate.

It was clear.

Gu Qingyi stood in the courtyard, watching me.

Without hesitation, she hurried to the entrance and vanished.

Only then did I breathe out.

I stayed crouched and kept searching.

After a little while, I straightened and called:

“Found them!”

“So they were here. Thank you. My poor eyes have kept you looking all this time.”

They straightened too and silently returned to the gate.

Holding the clothes, I walked slowly back.

My heart pounded, but I couldn’t let it show.

The room’s door closed behind me.

I let out a long breath and collected myself.

In truth, I had lied to Gu Qingyi.

What plan did I have?

Getting her out alone had already taken everything I could risk.

The best solution I could think of was staying in her place.

Tomorrow’s wedding needed a bride.

By sitting in that bridal room for her, I could at least buy her time.

As for me…

I looked down at the clothes and smiled bitterly.

I could only hope Shen Zhiyan remembered a little of our old love and would show mercy, leaving me a way to live.

After all, to him now, I was only a burden.

16

I didn’t sleep all night.