Chapter 5

“I've done a lot of thinking lately.”

“From now on, I'll give you space to make your own friends.”

“If coming home makes you unhappy, you don't have to visit for the holidays.”

“Your father and I won't mind.”

It felt absurd.

Then Cố Châu asked about my family.

Suddenly, I wondered whether he had something to do with it.

So I asked him directly.

He nodded.

“Yes.”

“My toxin actually has more than one effect.”

“I've tested it countless times.”

“It can cause hallucinations. Even weaken someone's emotions.”

“So...”

“You used it on my mother?”

He nodded.

I let out a breath.

“You scared me.”

“I thought someone had possessed her.”

“Good thing we're not in a horror film.”

I understood.

A person's character and outlook couldn't change that drastically.

If Cố Châu had intervened, at least it made sense.

I didn't want the family I'd been born into to become a chain around me.

I'd intended to distance myself gradually.

But now...

I seemed to be truly free.

The weight that had always pressed on my heart finally shattered.

Cố Châu pulled me into his arms and rested his chin on my head.

“Actually...”

“I'd met you before.”

Surprised, I looked up into his fathomless black eyes.

His beguiling voice continued.

“Four years ago.”

“I'd just taken human form and was preparing to come ashore.”

“You thought I was going to jump into the sea and kill myself.”

“You pulled me back.”

“And gave me your school uniform jacket.”

His words brought that memory into focus.

My family lived in a seaside town.

After school that day, I'd taken my usual road along the shore.

I'd seen a strangely dressed man standing by the water.

Silently looking out to sea.

Then, expressionless, he'd walked into it.

One slow step at a time.

I'd been frightened.

But I couldn't ignore him.

When I reached him, the water was only up to his calves.

I'd draped my uniform jacket around him and tried to comfort him.

Told him the world was beautiful.

Asked if he'd ever seen a mountain turn gold in the rising sun.

Or Heaven Lake on Mount Changbai.

Or a pink beach.

I'd only seen those places online.

Whenever I thought about my family, I felt suffocated.

But then I'd remember how vast the world was.

How much beauty I hadn't yet seen with my own eyes.

What a shame it would be to miss it.

That thought gave me strength.

Enough to keep going until today.

I couldn't even clearly remember the man's face.

Only that he'd looked at me for a long time.

After bringing him back to shore, I'd hurried away.

If that really had been Cố Châu, I was dying to know:

“Why were you going into the sea?”

“I'd left something with my people.”

“I was going back to get it.”

...

So I'd held him up?

“You touched me and nothing happened.”

“I was curious when you'd faint.”

“So I followed you.”

My eyes widened.

“You wanted me dead?!”

“I was curious...”

“Then I saw your mother scold you for being late.”

“Saw you wiping your tears while you did homework by the window.”

“When she learned you'd lost your uniform jacket, she scolded you again.”

“All I could think was...”

“How can this human be so foolish?”

I glared.

“Are you insulting me?”

He hurriedly stroked my hair.

“I wouldn't dare.”

“Later, I secretly returned the jacket to your room.”

“But when your mother found it, she scolded you anyway.”

I remembered.

That was exactly what she was like.

Always making a crisis out of something small.

So I never dared make mistakes.

Never dared have secrets.

Gradually, I stopped wanting to tell my family anything.

When the jacket had mysteriously reappeared, I'd stared at it for ages.

I'd even wondered whether I'd really rescued anyone.

Later, after starting university, I'd met Cố Châu again.

In octopus form.

He'd deliberately lain on the route I always took.

He'd guessed correctly.

I'd rescued him.

And seen him.

Then he'd attached himself to me.

“A girl that foolish...”

“I had to keep a close eye on you.”

“Only after meeting you did I realize that what I valued most wasn't power.”

“It was love.”

“I love you.”

“More than anything in this world.”

He'd originally had no feelings or desires.

Yet in the end, he'd left his people behind.

And chosen to love me.

And so—

The world unlocked an achievement:

Tô Hàn was the only one left hurting.

The first time I met Hạ Chiêu, she didn't take my provocation to heart at all.

Instead, she smiled at me.

Even after Cố Châu turned me into a fish, I still wanted to be with him.

Because a friend had told me he would become the strongest creature in the sea.

I wanted a little protection from someone powerful.

When Hạ Chiêu took me shopping for a container to live in, I deliberately said:

“Look, he kept looking at me earlier.”

“Cố Châu obviously likes me.”

“...”

“I'll tell you something. Our clan chief said that when I reached maturity, I'd differentiate as female, then marry Cố Châu and have children to continue our line!”

Hạ Chiêu paused.

A long time later, she asked:

“Would the children be fish with tentacles? Aren't there reproductive barriers?”

I stared.

I didn't understand.

I was only a young fish who hadn't finished nine years of compulsory education.

I decided to skip that question.

“But if he really likes you, I'm not a stingy fish. I'll let him take a concubine and marry you, too. I'll always be the principal wife, though!”

“Oh.”

Clearly, my generosity had moved her!

Magnanimously, I asked, “What's your name? Mine is Tô Hàn. My father found it in a human book.”

“I'm Hạ Chiêu.”

I continued praising Cố Châu.

“He really cares about me. Merfolk can't stay away from water too long, and maintaining human form is hard when you're not mature. That's why he turned me back into a fish.”

“I really like him. Hehe.”

“But what were you two doing in that room? I read that humans are fragile and can't breathe underwater, so they put their mouths together to share air. There wasn't any water there, though?”

She carefully hugged the cup.

Her face reddened.

Suddenly, I thought she was adorable.

She mumbled, “Um... Yes. Sharing air...”

Afterward, I stayed at her house.

She chatted with me.

Took me out into the sun.

Fed me lots of delicious things.

Suddenly, I thought: If Cố Châu marries me, he should marry Hạ Chiêu, too.

I liked her so much.

Later, when they went to university, I begged her to bring me.

She agreed.

But on campus, someone knocked into her.

I thought I was going to hit the ground.

It would hurt.

Because Cố Châu had sealed all my powers.

I was just a little fish.

But then I saw—

Hạ Chiêu throw herself after me without a thought for herself.

She caught me and held me so carefully.

At that moment, I wondered:

Why did I have to become female for Cố Châu?

I wanted...

To become male for Hạ Chiêu.

After my people took me home, they were astonished to hear what I wanted.

The chief was silent for a long time.

Then he said:

“If you can lure the girl beside Cố Châu back here...”

“I'll give you my position!”

Hmph.

He'd better prepare to retire!

The next time I returned, I came up with a wicked plan.

I told Hạ Chiêu Cố Châu's secret.

To show her I was still there.

When it worked, I was happy.

But when I saw she wasn't happy, I wasn't happy anymore.

Later, they made up as though nothing had happened.

I didn't know whether I was happy or sad.

For the first time, I understood how complicated human emotions could be.

Then I thought:

It would be all right if I didn't marry Hạ Chiêu.

As long as I could stay beside her forever, I'd be happy.

Just like before, I saw them kissing through the window again.

I swear!

I clearly saw Cố Châu lift his head and look at me!

Hạ Chiêu had said humans did that to share air.

At first, I'd wanted to share air with her, too.

But...

Chiêu Chiêu.

I've grown up.

I know it wasn't really sharing air.

Was it?

From beginning to end, Hạ Chiêu had only ever loved Cố Châu.

But I would always remember her eyes that day.

The look in them when she'd risked everything to protect me.

Never mind.

Chief.

Looks like I won't be taking your seat.

I'm crying now.

Can anyone understand how I feel?

— The End —