Chapter 1

Over summer break, my parents went away on business together and left me with Dad's sister.

Online, my aunt was an "Aunt Dehua"—the perfect, selfless aunt who lived for her niece.

Every day, she posted short videos. Peeled shrimp. Apples cut into little rabbits.

Everyone in the comments said I was luckier than her own child.

But what she actually put in front of me was noodles in clear broth and plain rice porridge.

Then I developed a fever.

I held the spare phone we kept at home and called Dad. I told him it felt awful to breathe.

He sounded impatient.

"Your aunt has even given up work to look after you. Can't you be a little more sensible?"

"I'm busy. Don't go running to us every time you feel a bit unwell. Listen to your aunt."

I was about to call again when she snatched the phone away.

"Still haven't finished tattling?"

She bolted my door from the outside and left in her new high heels.

I banged on the door for a long time.

The next day, she posted another childcare video.

【Up all night caring for my feverish little terror. How could an aunt dare sleep?】

By then, I could no longer wake up.

1

At daybreak, I finally got out of my bedroom.

My hand suddenly passed through the door.

The rest of me followed.

My aunt was just coming home. She kicked off her heels by the entrance. A glittering scrap of silver foil still clung to her ankle.

I tried to catch her arm.

My hand went through her sleeve.

She didn't turn.

In the kitchen, she boiled water, then tore open a packet of millet porridge.

She poured it into my rabbit bowl, set some fruit beside it, and mussed her hair.

Mom's video call came through.

"How's An'an?"

"Such a rough night. She's only just fallen asleep."

My aunt rubbed her eyes and pointed the camera at the porridge.

"I've just settled her. Don't worry about us. Get on with your work. A late night won't hurt me."

Mom leaned closer to the screen.

"Let me see her."

My aunt went to my door and rested her hand lightly against it.

"If I go in now and wake her again…"

Dad was tying his tie behind Mom.

"Don't disturb her. Let her sleep."

I floated in front of the camera.

"Dad, I'm not asleep."

"I called you for so long."

Mom sighed.

"Chen Yan, you've really had such a hard time."

"We're family. Don't say that."

My aunt smiled gently.

The instant the call ended, she wiped the smudged eyeliner from the corner of her eye with a tissue.

"What a pain."

Before my parents left, Mom had wanted to hire someone to help.

My aunt held out her phone.

Her first childcare video had already received lots of likes.

"How could a stranger care as much as family?"

"I've just left my job anyway. I can stay home with An'an and take something off your hands."

Dad was pleased.

He gave her five thousand yuan for looking after me for two weeks, then transferred another six thousand for good food and hospital visits if I felt unwell.

She wrote in the family chat:

【I'll make sure our An'an grows nice and plump.】

That day, she held me for a photograph.

Her fingers pinched my face painfully.

I shrank away. Her smile vanished.

"Don't move. Look at the camera, not me."

Afterward, she wrote across the picture:

【Even if I have to give up work, I'll watch my darling grow. What's my youth compared with that?】

Someone asked whether she was being paid.

She replied with a smiley face.

【We're family. Talking about money would spoil it.】

After that, she filmed me more and more.

Before meals.

Before bed.

Even when I cried.

Once, she put a plate of cooked shrimp in front of me and told me to thank her.

I did.

She said I was too quiet and made me say it again.

On the third try, I picked up a shrimp.

She pressed my chopsticks down.

"We're not done filming."

In the end, the plate went to her little table in the living room.

I asked whether I wasn't allowed any because the shrimp had gone cold.

She laughed.

"You wish."

I told Mom.

Mom forwarded me a video.

In it, my aunt held shrimp to my mouth and asked whether it tasted good.

Mom sent a voice message.

"Look for yourself. See how good your aunt is to you? Don't only remember the unhappy things."

So I stopped talking about it.

My aunt finished her cake and opened the junk drawer.

The spare phone lay inside.

She put it on silent and pushed it to the very bottom.

I followed her.

"Mom's still going to call."

Of course, she couldn't hear me.

The bolt outside my room was still fastened.

She'd installed it as soon as she moved in. She said I kept running out during her livestreams and spoiling the shot.

I watched her hand touch the bolt, then pull away.

Her phone rang.

Someone wanted to get their nails done with her that afternoon.

She smiled and said, "Sure."

Then she carried away the untouched porridge from outside my door.

"Finally. Some peace and quiet."

Chapter 2

2

At noon on Wednesday, my aunt posted nine photographs.

They were from the week before.

The caption was long.

【When a child gets sick, it's always the caregiver who suffers most. Up all night, but at least her fever finally broke.】

【Not her mother, but loving her more than one.】

Comments appeared quickly.

【Where do you find an Aunt Dehua like this? I want one for my child.】

【Her sister-in-law must have saved the world in a past life.】

Mom liked the post.

She commented too.

【We feel so reassured knowing you're there.】

I stared at "reassured."

My aunt had stood outside my door, holding up my phone, telling me to say into the microphone that I was fine.

I couldn't.

She stopped recording and scolded me for trying to ruin things for her.

My forehead had been so hot, but my feet were cold enough to curl up.

I held Huang, my little teddy bear, trying to tuck my feet beneath his tummy.

He was too small.

He could only cover one.

My aunt put away the fruit she'd finished photographing and sat in front of the ring light.

Today, she had a sponsored toiletries video to post.

"Every mother knows children sweat a lot. For anything that touches their skin, you have to choose the best."

She smiled and held up the bottle.

Dad sent a message.

【Why isn't An'an answering her phone?】

She stopped filming and replied:

【I took it away last night. Children are so crafty these days. The slightest little thing, and they call for reinforcements.】

【I've just checked her temperature. Thirty-seven degrees. Don't spoil her.】

Dad asked:

【No fever now?】

She selected a thermometer photograph from her album and sent it.

My hand was beside the reading.

She'd taken it on Monday morning while teaching me to film "Home Health Tips."

I hadn't had a fever then.

Dad didn't ask anything else.

A little later, he sent her some money in a digital red envelope.

【Buy yourself something nice to eat too. Don't wear yourself out.】

She accepted it immediately.

That afternoon, she changed into a new dress.

It had arrived the day before.

Under its delivery box lay a note I'd written.

"Friday. Mom and Dad come home."

Each day, I'd circled another mark in pencil.

She crumpled it and used it to wipe dust off the edge of her shoe.

I followed her to the front door.

The house was so quiet.

She seemed to notice too. She glanced back at my room.

"Chen An'an."

No sound.

She frowned and called again.

"If you're thirsty, get yourself some water. Don't wait until I'm back and start tattling."

Then the door closed.

After seven that evening, she came home with freshly done nails.

She took takeaway porridge from a bag, poured it into my clean rabbit bowl, and adjusted the ring light.

"An'an, I've made your favorite porridge."

She moved her phone closer to the crack under the door.

"It's all right if you don't want to see me. Just have a little food, okay?"

She waited a few seconds, then turned to the camera with a weary smile.

"Well. Children have their pride too."

Afterward, she watched the recording.

Then she sent it to the family chat.

Mom replied:

【Just leave it outside for now. She'll come out when she's hungry.】

My aunt sent a hug emoji.

She never put the bowl down.

She sat on the sofa, reading comments as she slowly ate it all.

Chapter 3

3

On Thursday, Mom video-called for the third time.

My aunt was trying on lipstick.

When she saw the call, she wiped her mouth clean before answering.

"Hello?"

"Put An'an on."

This time, Mom didn't first ask how hard things were for her.

My aunt paused.

"She's just fallen asleep."

"That's what you said yesterday morning."

Mom sounded anxious.

"She hasn't spoken to us for two days."

My aunt pointed the camera at my door, stepped aside, and lowered her voice.

"Last night, she kept demanding her phone. I said no, and she cried. She even threw something at me just now."

She bent to pick up a little plastic cup from the ledge.

A prop she'd left there while filming herself with the porridge.

"Look."

Mom fell silent.

"Should I open the door and wake her? You can talk to her."

I floated over immediately.

"Yes."

"Mom, tell her to open it."

Dad's voice came from offscreen.

"Leave it. Why drag her out of bed when she's sick?"

Mom hesitated.

"But I just feel…"

"Didn't Yanyan say the fever's gone? We'll be home tomorrow night. Don't start lecturing her over the phone."

My aunt put the cup back.

"Exactly. I'll have her send you a video when she wakes up."

In the end, Mom only said, "Don't forget."

After the call, my aunt stood still for a long time.

I thought she would open the door.

But her phone rang again. Someone was chasing her for the sponsored video.

She looked down and went back to the sofa.

Her album was full of me.

Me with braids.

Me brushing my teeth.

Me in an apron, holding up a rice paddle.

And me smiling as I said, "Good morning, Mom and Dad."

She'd filmed that on Monday morning.

She'd made me do it four times, saying she'd save it to post when she was busy.

A little blue watercolor had smeared onto my cuff.

The day before, I'd been drawing our family of four. I wanted to include her.

She chose that clip and posted it on her own account first.

【My darling's all better today. Thank you for caring.】

Then she took my old phone from the drawer, transferred the video, and sent it to Mom from my account.

I stood in front of her, trying to cover the screen.

It did nothing.

In the video Mom received, I smiled like such a good girl.

【Listen to your aunt while she's looking after you.】

That was Mom's reply.

My aunt typed an answer for me.

【Yes, Mom.】

I couldn't type like that.

I always had to search for the characters one by one.

When I couldn't find them, I'd hold down the microphone button and speak.

Mom didn't notice that either.

My aunt put the old phone away and shut the drawer again.

That evening, she finally stopped looking at her phone.

She went to my door and pressed her ear against it.

The living-room clock's second hand made a full circle.

She heard nothing.

"An'an?"

I stood right beside her.

"I'm here."

She tapped twice with one finger.

"Don't pretend you're asleep."

The person inside didn't move.

Slowly, she straightened, her eyes on the bolt.