Chapter 4

My sister sat beside Pei Yan.

He was peeling shrimp for her himself.

For the Crown Prince to go so far would make anyone envious.

I watched in a daze.

A plump, peeled shrimp suddenly appeared at my lips.

“What are you looking at?” Song Mingzhang asked with a smile.

I lowered my head guiltily.

“Just watching the dancers.”

Halfway through the feast, a palace maid accidentally spilled wine on my dress while pouring a cup.

With my sister’s permission, she escorted me away to change.

A little girl suddenly appeared on the long paved path.

She seemed unable to see properly and nearly fell several times.

I steadied her.

“Are you all right?”

Her face lit up at the sound of my voice.

“Pretty sister! Do you remember me?

“We met at Baohua Temple. The butterfly hairpin!”

So it was her.

I was about to answer when a clear, gentle voice came from behind us.

“A-Xi, wandering off again?

“If anything happens to you, what am I supposed to tell my uncle?”

It was Pei Yan.

My sister followed behind him.

The little commandery princess pouted.

“But I found the pretty sister from Baohua Temple.

“Haven’t you always wanted to see her?”

See me?

Why would Pei Yan be looking for me?

I could make no sense of it.

From the corner of my eye, however, I saw my sister turn deathly pale. She gripped the hand of the maid beside her.

She seemed afraid.

Pei Yan rubbed his brow helplessly.

“I’ve already found her.”

He led the little princess over to my sister.

“Come and greet your sister-in-law.”

My sister crouched and forced a smile.

“A-Xi.”

But the child shook her head.

“She isn’t the sister I met.”

Then she pointed at me.

“She is.”

Pei Yan did not believe her. The little princess grew anxious.

“My eyes are bad, so I’m very good at telling voices apart. I couldn’t possibly mistake her.

“If you don’t believe me, ask her what she said to me that day.”

It had been so long that even I could barely remember what I had said.

My sister could have used that excuse to brush the matter aside.

But she was too nervous. She stammered for ages without producing a single word.

At last she caught his sleeve and choked out, “Your Highness!”

One look at her was enough for Pei Yan to understand.

His tenderness vanished. He flung her hand aside.

“You dared deceive me?”

My sister fell to the ground, weeping, her lovely face drenched in tears.

I wanted no part in the commotion. While no one was looking, I quietly slipped away.

After that, I understood why she had been so wary of me.

Years ago, beneath the matchmaking tree at Baohua Temple, Pei Yan had seen me comforting the little princess.

My veil had hidden my face.

All he remembered was the butterfly hairpin with its moving wings.

Later, at the Lantern Festival, my sister wore the identical pin while strolling through the streets.

He mistook her for me.

Ultimately, it was my sister’s face he had fallen in love with. All they needed to do was clear up the misunderstanding.

As for me, he himself had forced me to marry another man.

Perhaps he would not care.

Under a bright moon and scattered stars, Song Mingzhang and I left the palace.

Just as I was about to board our carriage, someone called from behind.

“Second Miss, please wait.”

Pei Yan had called me Second Miss, not Madam Song.

My husband and I frowned almost at the same moment.

“Come with me for a moment, Second Miss. There is something I wish to discuss with you.”

Song Mingzhang tightened his grip on my hand. His lips pressed into a straight line.

“Whatever it is, Your Highness can say it here.”

I withdrew my hand and signaled to him with a look.

It’s all right.

Wait for me.

Then I climbed into Pei Yan’s carriage.

He sat opposite me. The first thing he said was, “Do your knees still hurt?”

I shook my head.

It had been months since the punishment. How could they still hurt?

He gave a bitter smile.

“I didn’t know your sister had taken your place. That was why I treated you so harshly.

“Do you hate me?”

“Your Highness is the heir to the throne, exalted above us all. I feel only respect and affection for you.

“If there is nothing else, I must go home with my husband.”

I finished speaking in one breath and rose to leave.

Unwilling to let it end, he asked, “Are you and Mingzhang very close?”

“He is the best husband in the world.”

That was my answer.

“If I sent Hengzhi out of the palace, would you divorce Mingzhang and marry me?”

Anger flared within me.

I looked him straight in the eye.

“Your Highness should be careful what you say.

“The entire capital knows how splendidly you welcomed my sister into the Eastern Palace, with a wedding procession stretching for miles. If you cast her aside, how is she to live?

“Must she spend the rest of her days before a Buddha’s lamp, or end her life with a length of white silk?

“Besides, the face Your Highness first saw was my sister’s. Weren’t you captivated by her beauty then?”

Pei Yan stared blankly.

I paid him no more attention. Jumping down from the carriage, I ran into Song Mingzhang’s arms.

In bed that night, I told him everything that had happened.

“Do you think His Highness will keep troubling me?”

Song Mingzhang kissed my forehead.

“Yingying.

“Even if it costs me my life, I will protect you.

“Go to sleep.”

In the end, Pei Yan sent my sister home.

Though no decree of divorce had been issued, her reputation suffered.

People were saying the Crown Prince had grown tired of his wife.

Mother brought her to the Song residence.

“Ye Ying, have you no shame? Seducing your own brother-in-law!”

She was shaking with anger.

“If I’d known…”

“You would never have had me,” I finished for her. “But without me, would my sister have lived this long?

“Mother, I’m your daughter too. Why can’t you love me even a little?”

She turned her face away. Much of her bluster deserted her.

I drew a deep breath.

“Mother, if you keep making these senseless accusations, my sister really will never return to the Eastern Palace.”

My sister was frightened too. She stamped her foot.

“Let’s go.

“I told you from the start not to come looking for her.”

They had scarcely left before Pei Yan arrived.

I pressed my fingers to my brow, at a loss as to how to deal with him.

Faced with the exalted Crown Prince, the gatekeeper did not dare protest.

He walked straight in and found me feeding the fish by the pond.

The koi opened their mouths wide, jostling for food.

“Yingying,” he said softly, “you’ve been reborn too, haven’t you?

“Otherwise, you would have told me in the cave about being your sister’s living remedy.”

Shock surged through me.

Pei Yan had also returned to an earlier life.

It seemed he had come back later than I had.

I sighed.

“Your Highness has my sister now.

“Why don’t you cherish her?”

He froze, bewilderment crossing his face.

“I don’t know.

“I don’t think I love her.

“In truth, before I drew my last breath in our previous life, I already regretted it. I should never have abandoned you and our child to selfishly choose death.”

“There was no child.”

I raised my eyes to his.

“After Your Highness died, someone killed the baby in my womb. The Empress gave me a length of white silk.”

“I’m sorry.”

His eyes were full of pain. It did not look feigned.

“I didn’t know it would turn out like that.

“Yingying, will you give me a chance to make amends?”

I gripped my robe, deeply uneasy.

I feared that Pei Yan would destroy the peaceful, happy life I had now.

So I said, “Your Highness, if you truly wish to make amends, take my sister back. Become a ruler who attends diligently to his duties and cares for his people.

“As for me…

“I am living very well. I bear you no resentment.”

That last sentence was a lie.

But what could hating him accomplish?

Our stations were as far apart as the clouds and the mud.

Could I kill him to vent my anger?

Pei Yan was silent for a long time. Then he closed his eyes.

“As you wish.”

In the winter of the second year, the Emperor died.

Pei Yan ascended the throne and made my sister his Empress.

That same year, he expanded the imperial harem.

In the spring of the fourth year, my sister gave birth to a prince.

I too had a child, a sweet, lovely daughter.

Once she could walk, I took her into the palace to visit my sister.

Hengzhi had become more composed.

She no longer regarded me with hostility.

“I was in the wrong back then, pretending to be you. His Majesty has never stopped thinking of you all these years.

“To my eye, every consort in this palace bears some resemblance to you.”

By the time we finished reminiscing, night had fallen.

Song Mingzhang was waiting for me outside the palace.

I held my daughter’s hand, then lifted her into the carriage.

The night wind grew stronger, stirring the loose strands at my temples.

I suddenly remembered how, on the palace road earlier, the young Emperor had stopped his sedan and quietly asked, “Then, Madam Ye, will everything in this life always be as you wish?”

Under his steady gaze, I had given a small nod.

— The End —