Chapter 2

I simply realized that they had never needed my opinion before making decisions about their lives.

I didn’t need to give them a special announcement about mine either.

On Thursday evening, our five-person chat suddenly came alive after several quiet days.

My brother tagged me first.

[It’s Wen Li’s birthday next week. Book that rooftop restaurant we went to last time.]

Gu Ye immediately added:

[And look at cakes. She doesn’t like too much cream.]

Lin Che sent three handbag links.

[You have good taste. Pick one. We’ll split the cost.]

I watched the screen for a while, then laughed.

So this chat wasn’t entirely useless.

They still remembered me when they needed tickets, itineraries, or gifts.

I sent one reply.

[Do it yourselves this time. I’m busy.]

My brother called almost immediately.

“How long can booking a restaurant take? You’ve always handled this stuff.”

I kept packing books into a cardboard box.

“Then you can handle it this time. It’s about time you learned.”

His voice dropped.

“Is this all because of that smaller chat? Shen Zhiyi, don’t you think you’ve been making a bit too much of this?”

I stopped packing. For the first time, I asked him seriously, “What do you actually talk about in there?”

“What else? Food, games, little things.”

“Then why do all of you know about Wen Li’s new job, Gu Ye’s breakup, Lin Che moving house, and Xia Chuan going to the hospital?”

He was silent for two seconds, then laughed again.

“Because you’re busy. Besides, didn’t you always hate listening to that kind of nonsense?”

I suddenly had no idea what to say.

After all these years, other people could apparently decide even what I liked and disliked.

Xia Chuan came home from the hospital that evening.

He noticed two boxes were missing from the living room and merely asked whether I was decluttering again.

While he showered, his phone on the table lit up several times.

I didn’t touch it.

The screen happened to be facing up.

At the top was another notification from *Four Unlucky Souls*.

My brother:

[Is she still sulking about that group?]

Gu Ye:

[Give her a few days to cool off. Zhiyi’s always like this.]

Wen Li:

[Is it because of me? Maybe I shouldn’t celebrate my birthday. I don’t want seeing me to upset Zhiyi.]

Lin Che replied quickly:

[What does it have to do with you? She’s just stressed at work.]

In a few short messages, they had explained all my feelings.

No one asked what I was actually thinking.

Wen Li even seemed more in need of comforting over this argument than I did.

When Xia Chuan finished showering, he put his arms around me from behind.

“Stop being mad at your brother. The cherry-blossom trip is pretty much settled. I’ll buy you a new camera to make it up to you.”

“When did you all decide that?”

He answered without thinking.

“When we discussed it in the group the other day. We’ve put down a deposit on the guesthouse too.”

Then he stopped.

He lowered his head and kissed my hair.

“We’ll post everything in the bigger group from now on, all right? Stop dwelling on this.”

Once, I might have taken that as an opening to make peace.

This time, I simply eased his hands away.

“All right. We can talk about it later, if we get the chance.”

He missed what I meant.

He didn’t know I had canceled the renewal of our lease for the following month.

He didn’t know half my books had already been shipped.

He certainly didn’t know that *later* meant just two more days.

The next day, HR sent me the final handover form.

I signed each section.

The last box read:

[Notify family and emergency contact?]

I paused for two seconds, then wrote:

[Not necessary.]

Whenever I made a decision, I used to ask my brother, Xia Chuan, Gu Ye, and Lin Che first.

For the first time, I realized how much lighter it felt not to explain.

The day before I left, my brother invited me to Wen Li’s birthday dinner.

When I arrived, all five of them were seated.

Wen Li was in the middle.

Xia Chuan was helping her unbox a new camera.

Gu Ye and Lin Che sat on either side, showing her how to adjust the settings.

My brother held the menu and asked whether she wanted anything else.

An extra chair had been squeezed in at the very end.

Seeing me, my brother pointed casually at it.

“Saved that for you. Another ten minutes and I would’ve asked them to take it away.”

I sat down.

Wen Li immediately handed me the camera.

“You’re the best at taking pictures, Zhiyi. Could you fix the settings? Everything I shoot looks so gray.”

I adjusted them and handed it back.

Delighted, she turned to ask Xia Chuan to take her picture.