Chapter 4
Edward Quan ·
He lifted my chin slightly.
“Do you need me to say it again?”
“Zhang Xiaocao.”
Smack!
I knocked his hand away.
Zong Lu didn’t care in the slightest.
“Don’t you want to climb higher?”
“Don’t you want to go further?”
I raised my head and glared fiercely at him.
He bent down, meeting my eyes.
“I’ll use my money and every resource I have to pave the way for you.”
“I only have one condition.”
“Zhang Xiaocao. Break up with him.”
8
Back at my apartment, I stared at the photographs in my hands.
For a moment, my thoughts were a mess.
But I pulled myself together, dragging myself out of that feeling of sinking into mud.
Just as I’d picked myself up countless times before.
“Xiaocao, Xiaocao. Why did you want a name that means ‘little grass’?”
“Because when the spring wind blows, the grass grows back.”
Many years ago, I’d told myself to love myself above everything else.
That belief was enough to sustain me. Even after discovering Chen Zhao’s affair, I could analyze the situation and identify the best, most suitable choice for myself in the shortest possible time.
We would break up. That was certain.
With the evidence I had, I could negotiate better terms too.
We’d both put money into our current home.
When we broke up, I could keep it.
Then I’d calculate his share at market value and pay him back.
Yes. I had to stay calm during the conversation. Absolutely no losing my temper.
That was what I thought.
But when I turned, I saw my own expressionless face.
I didn’t want to see myself like that.
I curled up under the blankets and forced my eyes shut.
Zhang Xiaocao. Leave tomorrow’s problems for tomorrow.
9
I took three days off work.
Without telling Chen Zhao, I returned to Haicheng.
But perhaps life didn’t need quite so many shocks.
The moment I entered the code and opened the door, I saw Chen Zhao crouched beside Chen Jiahe, applying ointment.
They both panicked at the sight of me.
Chen Zhao hurriedly stood.
“Why are you back all of a sudden?”
Chen Jiahe tried to stand, but pain made her tremble.
Chen Zhao rushed to support her.
Tears shone in her eyes.
“Don’t misunderstand, sister-in-law.”
I hated this kind of cheap drama most of all.
My mood was strangely calm.
“Chen Zhao. We need to talk.”
I turned to Chen Jiahe.
“Could you wait outside for a moment? Once I’ve spoken to him, I’ll speak to you.”
I was excessively polite.
Chen Jiahe looked flustered.
“All… All right.”
The door closed from the other side.
9
Only Chen Zhao and I remained.
He tried to take my hand as he always had, but I stepped back.
I took the photographs out of my backpack, one by one.
With each photograph, his face grew a shade paler.
“Chen Zhao. You cheated.”
I stated my conclusion.
“So we’re breaking up.”
Panicking, he hurriedly reached for me. “No. We’re not breaking up.”
“If you refuse, these photographs will be sent to your workplace tomorrow morning.”
I looked up at him.
“I don’t want this to get ugly.”
“I’ve thought it through. I’m keeping this apartment. I’m used to living here, but I can pay you back for your share at market value. That’s not unreasonable, is it?”
“I’ll also itemize what I spent visiting your parents over the years and give you the list.”
Listening to my calm analysis, Chen Zhao could only smile bitterly.
“Did you ever really love me?”
At this point, empty words were pointless.
Our relationship had been built on schemes, manipulation, and lies. So, at its end, I was honest with him for once.
“I just love myself more.”
10
When I opened the door, Chen Jiahe was waiting outside.
She looked away guiltily at the sight of me.
I smiled. “Relax. I don’t eat people. There’s just one thing I want to know.”
“Are you with Chen Zhao because you like him, or because Zong Lu told you to be?”
Chen Jiahe’s head snapped up.
I understood.
“Thank you for answering my question.”
When I left the building, I stopped.
My gaze fell on the familiar Cullinan.
A WeChat message arrived from Zong Lu.
“Either you get in the car, or I come over.”
The car door clicked shut.
Zong Lu passed me a bottle of water from behind.
I didn’t take it.
He was perfectly calm.
“Did you clear everything up?”
“Yes.”
“When are you moving out?”
“He’s moving. Not me.”
“Have you really made a clean break?”
Smack!
I slapped Zong Lu across the face.
He neither flinched nor dodged. He simply let me hit him.
“Zong Lu. What exactly do you like about me?”
At last, I asked the question that had puzzled me for so long.
I stared at him as though I’d seen a ghost.
“Is it because of that sensory link? You got attached to the feeling?”
It was too absurd.
At the mention of the link, his fingers curled slightly.
A trace of awkwardness flashed through his eyes.
But it quickly vanished.
He took my hand. I tried to pull free, but he only held on tighter.
“No, Zhang Xiaocao.”
“I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
I hadn’t expected that answer at all.
I froze briefly, then quickly regained my composure.
Love or no love, it didn’t matter.
What I cared about was…
“You said you’d pave the way for me. Did you mean it?”
I looked at him earnestly.
Zong Lu immediately brightened.
“Of course I did.”
“Even if I don’t want to be with you right now?”
The joy in his eyes quickly disappeared.
He closed his eyes.
“Yes. Even if you’re not with me.”
Good. Then there was no problem.
In a relationship, love wasn’t important to me. Fidelity was.
In other words, I could accept a relationship without love.
But I wouldn’t accept one with betrayal.
That was why I would break up with Chen Zhao.
As for Zong Lu, he was simply one factor in the calculation of gains and losses before me.
If I were with him, I could get everything I wanted.
I could climb higher. Go further.
I was the sort of person who found it difficult to love someone else.
So I only chose whoever suited me best.
I smiled at Zong Lu.
“All right. In that case, when I’m in a good mood someday, I’ll consider you.”
11
I realized the streaming comments had been gone for a long time.
They’d appeared strangely and disappeared just as strangely.
I thought perhaps it was because this damned love triangle had been resolved.
Either way, it counted as a good thing.
After laying his cards on the table, Zong Lu started coming over frequently.
I ignored him.
He would sit on the sofa by himself all afternoon anyway.
Chen Zhao had tried to win me back.
He couldn’t adjust to having a perfectly good home suddenly disappear.
After all, I really had taken good care of everything before.
At the sight of his incoming call, Zong Lu’s eyes darkened.
I smiled at him.
Right in front of him, I answered.
Then I went outside and closed the door.
Once I was out, I dropped the smile.
I told Chen Zhao:
“You have one final week. If you don’t collect your things, I’m throwing them all out. Don’t come looking for me again.”
Sunlight fell across my shadow.
I ended the call.
Stepping onto my own shadow, I turned.
Zong Lu was leaning against the door, watching me.
He looked neither happy nor angry.
His lips were curved, but there was no amusement in them.
“What’s this? Rekindling an old flame?”
“Yes.” My answer was light. “Why? Want to consider being my side piece?”
Zong Lu laughed.
“I could do that.”
Unfortunately, he wasn’t as good an actor as I was.
Before long, he found an excuse to leave.
12
Zong Lu’s mother came to see me once.
A wealthy lady whose every gesture was elegant.
Of course, there was plenty of scrutiny too.
“What will it take for you to leave my son?”
“I’ve seen far too many girls like you. You’re only after money.”
She handed me a card.
“There’s ten million on it.”
Chen Zhao’s mother had approached me before too.
She’d been much the same, looking down on my humble family.
But back then, I’d been desperate to put down roots in this city.
In other words…
I’d wanted a home of my own.
So, no matter how insulting her words, I’d kept up my act.
From time to time, I’d even brought gifts to visit her.
What I’d said most often was:
“My feelings are sincere.”
But now that I was dealing with Zong Lu’s mother, I didn’t have that much patience.
Perhaps being loved made a person feel entitled.
I couldn’t stand even the smallest slight.
So I handed the card back.
“Ma’am, you need to discuss this with Zong Lu, not me.”
“After all, I’m not the one who refuses to leave.”
“He’s the one who can’t leave me.”
Later, I repeated the whole exchange for Zong Lu.
Peeling a mandarin, I spoke slowly.
“Your family is yours to handle. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.”
Zong Lu promised:
“I guarantee she won’t come to you again.”