Chapter 5

"Your Highness... don't... don't blame Sister Han Yan..."

I leaned weakly against him, my breath fragile, tears slipping down my face.

"She can't have meant to hurt me..."

Han Yan was in complete disarray. She waved her hands frantically.

"It wasn't me! Your Highness, I truly didn't push her! She did it her—"

"Silence!"

Gu Chengzhang cut her off sharply, his eyes full of disappointment and rage.

"Han Yan, you've disappointed me beyond words! Lingyi is pregnant, yet she's pleaded for your brother again and again. And over some private grudge, you would do something so vicious? When did you become... so frightening?"

His chest heaved. He closed his eyes, plainly unwilling to look at her again.

"Your Highness... it hurts... the child..."

I let out a timely groan of greater pain. Fresh blood was already seeping through my skirt.

At the sight of blood on his hand, Gu Chengzhang went white and roared outside the carriage:

"Quick! Faster! Back to the Eastern Palace at once!"

The carriage raced through the night.

The moment we arrived, he carried me straight to the birthing room prepared beforehand. For the first time, he completely ignored the weeping Han Yan behind him.

Inside, the labor-inducing medicine took full effect. Savage contractions crashed over me, almost tearing my awareness apart.

Sweat and tears soaked the hair at my temples. Biting my lip, I endured a birth I'd planned in advance but still found almost unbearable.

"Your Highness... I... don't think I can bear it..."

My voice, little more than breath, reached beyond the screen.

"Lingyi! Don't say that! You'll be all right!"

His voice held a panic I'd never heard before.

Outside, Han Yan tried to reassure him.

"Don't worry, Your Highness. Women always have to endure labor for a while..."

"She's not some ordinary woman from your village!"

His rough interruption was already hoarse.

"She's been in pain so long! She should never have had to suffer like this! Whose fault is it?"

Hearing the anguish and regret in his words, I knew the moment was almost ripe.

"Husband... Lingyi... may not have a future with you..."

With all my strength, I gave a cry of agony.

Then I closed my eyes and went limp on the birthing bed, one hand dropping helplessly over the edge.

"Lingyi!"

Disregarding the taboo against entering a birthing room, Gu Chengzhang rushed in and gripped my icy hand. His voice shook.

"Wake up! I won't let anything happen to you! You have to live. Please... give me another chance to make it up to you!"

The empress arrived with the imperial physician and urged him outside to wait.

He shook his head wildly, eyes reddening.

"I'm not leaving! She's my wife, and that's my child! I will not go!"

Outside, Han Yan staggered at his words, nearly losing her footing. The last color drained from her face.

The physician swiftly applied his needles. I "woke," took the ginseng slice a matron held to my lips, and followed the midwife's instructions to push again.

"Your Highness, we can see the head! A little more!"

I clutched Gu Chengzhang's hand, braced myself against him, and gave one final cry.

"Waaaah!"

A newborn's clear cry finally broke the tension.

"Congratulations, Your Highness! Congratulations, Crown Princess! A healthy little imperial grandson!"

Wanhe's voice rang with joy.

Exhausted, I sank back onto the bed and held his hand, my eyes wet, my voice pleading.

"Husband... our child... let me see him..."

The wet nurse placed the carefully swaddled baby in my arms.

At the sight of that soft, rosy little face, tears slipped from my eyes again.

Gu Chengzhang carefully took the child and wiped my tears with his fingertips. His voice was gentler than ever.

"A mother now, and still such a tearful young lady."

Holding our son, he drew me close and patted my back.

"There. Sleep a while and recover your strength. Once you're awake, you can look at our child as long as you like."

His quiet soothing brought all my accumulated exhaustion down upon me. I couldn't resist it. Soon I was deeply asleep.

Beyond the window, the night was still thick.

But from the moment that child was born, certain people's destinies had changed completely.

10.

News of my legitimate son's safe birth filled the Eastern Palace with joy.

The empress visited in person and held her little grandson, reluctant to put him down.

Then her expression darkened. She spoke of Han Yan's attempt to harm an imperial heir.

"Such a vicious woman cannot remain."

There was no room for retreat in her tone.

When the attendants brought Han Yan in, none of her former loveliness remained.

She knelt weeping and clutched Gu Chengzhang's robe.

"Save me, Your Highness! For the sake of what we once shared, spare me this once!"

He struggled visibly, then finally turned to me.

Propping up my still-weak body, I spoke gently.

"Mother, Sister Han Yan merely lost her head for a moment. The child and I are safe now. Why not... spare her life?"

The empress gave me a long look. At last, she sighed.

"Very well. Because you once saved me, I'll let you live. From today, you will be sent to the Cold Palace to reflect on your conduct."

Han Yan's face was paper-white. As the attendants dragged her out, her eyes held only an indelible hatred for me.

Life in the Cold Palace was bitter, but she refused to submit quietly.

Late each night, she sang the little tune that had once sealed her love with Gu Chengzhang. Her mournful voice sought to revive his old feelings.

Before long, the emperor's illness worsened.

We were ordered to attend him.

Halfway there, I stopped and leaned close to Wanhe.

"Make arrangements at the Cold Palace. Withdraw the guards, and put something in her food. Make certain she sleeps until tomorrow."

Wanhe grew solemn and immediately went to obey.

I wanted Han Yan to miss the funeral bells. I also wanted to leave her a chance to escape the Cold Palace.

Without its leading lady, this fine performance couldn't go on.

That night, bells announcing the emperor's death rang throughout the imperial city.

The next day, with the whole country in mourning, Han Yan burst from the Cold Palace in heavy makeup and brilliant red court dress. She ran straight to Gu Chengzhang.

White mourning cloth filled the funeral hall.

Her red was glaringly out of place, like a vengeful demon come to claim a life.

"Your Highness!"

She smiled wildly.

"I knew you'd come for me..."

The empress shook with rage. "Wretched servant! How dare you behave like this before the late emperor's memorial tablet!"

Gu Chengzhang instinctively began to speak for her, but I caught his arm.

"Your Majesty."

I changed the form of address. My voice was soft but impossible to dismiss.

"Every official here is watching you. You're about to ascend the throne. You must not put private affection above public duty."

He stiffened. He looked at Han Yan's deranged appearance, then at the suspicion in the ministers' eyes. His gaze slowly cooled.

"Guards."

He stepped forward, his voice pained but resolute.

"Drag this madwoman out. Beat her to death."

Her smile froze. She stared in disbelief.

"Your Highness! Your Highness, you can't do this to me! You promised you would always..."

The heavy blows of wooden staves drowned her screams.

At last, silence returned to the funeral hall.

Gu Chengzhang never looked back. He continued attending to the late emperor's funeral rites.

I knew perfectly well that whatever affection he still held for Han Yan had long since lost to imperial power.

The new emperor ascended without difficulty. I was invested as empress. Naturally, our legitimate eldest son became Crown Prince.

I personally selected his consorts, deliberately choosing many women who resembled Han Yan in some way—her features, her manner, her singing voice.

At first, he found them novel. Over time, he himself could no longer clearly remember what she'd originally looked like.

Affairs of state kept him busy. More beauties continued to enter the harem.

After only ten years, Gu Chengzhang, not yet forty, was already a shadow of himself.

The Crown Prince, fifteen, began governing in his father's stead.

I heard affairs of state from behind the curtain, holding both court and harem in my hands.

Another bitter winter came. Gu Chengzhang fell gravely ill and died.

As the funeral bells rang, I remained seated in the Palace of Phoenix Grace. In the bronze mirror, my face was still composed and noble.

"Your Majesty, it's time to change," Wanhe reminded me softly.

I rose and let the attendants dress me in the Empress Dowager's ceremonial robes.

The woman in the mirror was dignified and imposing, already bearing the majesty of the realm's mother.

All along this road, I'd never sought anyone's true affection.

What I wanted had always been clear: to reach the highest seat of power and protect the glory of the entire Pei clan.

And now, everything was exactly as I wished.