Chapter 4

The physician diagnosed a sudden stroke.

But Shen Mingwei had Madam Liu bound for questioning on suspicion of harming the master of the household.

She ordered her tongue cut out so that clever mouth could no longer beguile Father.

Father was paralyzed. Lingrou had lost her reason. Madam Liu was ill and mute.

Of their family of four, only Huaiyu still had sound limbs. Naturally, the duty of caring for his relatives fell to him.

Shen Mingwei moved them all into Listening Rain Pavilion and locked the courtyard gate.

Each day, someone delivered simple meals through a small door. There was enough to keep them alive, but the gate remained firmly shut.

They were all my relatives. If I went a day without seeing them, I missed them.

So I had a carpenter build a wooden ladder outside the courtyard wall.

Every day after a meal, I climbed up for a look. It helped my digestion.

Huaiyu had been waited on since birth. He could barely dress himself and did not even know how to put up his own hair.

At first, Madam Liu could still tidy him up. But after two days of caring for a paralyzed husband and watching over a daughter whose mind was unwell, she could no longer keep going.

She collapsed from exhaustion. No one helped her up all night.

When she woke the next day, Huaiyu accused her of favoritism. She cared only for Lingrou and would not wash his clothes.

Beside them, Lingrou screamed and smashed bowls.

Father cursed Madam Liu in slurred, inarticulate sounds.

At last, she broke down completely and hurled herself at Huaiyu.

Seeing a fight, Lingrou grabbed a wooden stool and swung it wildly. Father could only lie on his bed, making helpless noises.

I leaned over the wall and watched for a long time. Finally, my heart was at ease.

The whole family was quarreling noisily, but they were all together.

Madam Liu had always valued family above everything. Surely she was content now.

10.

But Shen Mingwei meant to send me away from this warm, loving home.

She began seeking a husband for me. Her choices were young scholars from ordinary families, all gifted writers.

If they passed the examinations, she said, I would become an official’s wife.

“Your father spent more than half the family fortune ransoming Huaiyu. I’ll give you the remaining estates and shops as your dowry.”

I shook my head.

I did not want to leave the Jiang household.

Thinking I was worried about the dowry, she patiently explained the accounts.

I blinked.

“But didn’t the ransom Father paid come back into your hands long ago, Mother?”

Her hand paused as she lifted her teacup.

“What else do you know?”

“Huaijin isn’t Father’s son.”

Her expression changed completely.

Setting down the cup, she stared at me and asked how I knew.

It was not very difficult to guess.

After Huaiyu was born, no more children had been born into the Jiang family.

Madam Liu loved making soup.

When I was little and frail, she brought me nourishing soup every day. After Huaiyu’s birth, she began bringing Father soup daily too.

Over the years I drank it, my body grew thinner and weaker.

Over the years Father drank it, he never got another woman pregnant.

After Shen Mingwei entered the household, she spent her wedding night alone. Her stepchildren repeatedly made trouble for her.

She needed a son to secure her position as mistress.

The guard I chose for her was her childhood sweetheart. He was trustworthy and knew how to keep his mouth shut.

After Huaijin was born, Father did indeed turn most of his attention toward the main courtyard.

All I wanted was harmony in the family.

Nothing Shen Mingwei had done conflicted with that wish.

She asked why, if I had known for so long that Madam Liu was harming people, I had not told Father when I was little.

I asked in return, “Whom would Father have believed?”

Back then, Madam Liu was his gentle, virtuous second wife. I was a sickly daughter who could not even memorize her lessons.

Medicine dregs could be thrown away. Physicians could be bought. Even my nurse might have met with an “accident” before she could speak.

If I had cried and accused her, they would merely have said I resented my stepmother because I missed my own mother.

So I kept drinking the soup. I kept playing the fool.

Madam Liu wanted me simple and obedient. I returned the filial piety she taught me in full.

She loved her daughter, so I let mother and daughter stay together.

She valued her husband, so I kept him by her side as well.

She poured all her efforts into raising her son, so I entrusted her old age to him.

Shen Mingwei said nothing for a long time.

At last, she poured me another cup of tea herself.

“If you have any plans in future, tell me first.”

“Are you afraid I might include you in my calculations, Mother?”

She nodded frankly.

“A little.”

I smiled.

“As long as you always treat me as family, I will always treat you as my mother.”

It was no threat, but the most sincere promise I could give her.

“I won’t tell anyone,” I assured her.

She watched me for a long while, then suddenly laughed.

“Everyone in the capital says the Jiang family’s eldest daughter is a fool, treating the woman who killed her birth mother as a loving parent.

“They never imagined you saw more clearly than anyone else in this household.”

I did not deny it.

I told her how I had dealt with Lu Chengze. She, in turn, tacitly accepted that I had guessed Huaijin’s parentage.

Each of us held the other’s secret. Somehow, that made our family bond stronger still.

Shen Mingwei stopped pressing me to marry out.

But I understood that an unmarried stepdaughter remaining at home past the usual age would expose her to plenty of gossip.

She was my family now. I could not make things difficult for her.

So I chose a gentle young accountant whose parents had both died.

He did not mind marrying into my household and could help me manage the shops.

Shen Mingwei invited three suitable men to the residence and had me sit behind a screen to meet them.

The first came from a scholarly family. As soon as he opened his mouth, he said a married woman should settle down and devote herself to the inner household. Ideally, she would hand her dowry to her husband’s family to manage.

I had someone pour him another cup of tea and asked no second question.

The second wrote beautifully but kept probing into how much land the Jiang family had left.

The moment he heard Huaiyu had gambled away more than half our wealth, his smile faded.

I told the steward to show him out.

The third was Zhou Jinyan, the man who would later marry into our family.

He was an accountant in one of the shops. Orphaned young, he had paid for a few years of schooling by copying account books for others.

Shen Mingwei asked whether marrying into his wife’s household would make him feel inferior.

He replied, “Marriage means two people making a life together. Surnames and where they live are merely things outsiders like to fuss over.”

From behind the screen, I asked, “What if I never leave the Jiang residence?”

“Then we’ll live here.”

“What if I often climb up the wall to look at my relatives?”

He hesitated, then asked only, “Is the ladder sturdy?”

I thought very well of him.

After hearing all my questions, his first concern was whether I might fall.

Once we were betrothed, I showed him my account books.

They recorded Madam Liu’s medicine purchases over the years, the money spent making arrangements for Lu Chengze’s victims, and the land deeds Shen Mingwei had bought after recovering the ransom.

After reading them, Zhou Jinyan numbered each volume anew and carefully sealed them.

“These are your old accounts, my lady. My responsibility is only to keep them safe. If they are ever needed, the seals must be as intact as they are today.”

I asked whether he was afraid.

He thought for a long time, then honestly admitted that he was a little.

“But I’m more afraid of knowing what you’ve been through and still pretending not to see.”

So I chose him.

Before the wedding, I told him the household rules.

He must not enter Listening Rain Pavilion.

He must not move the ladder beside the wall.

He must listen carefully to Shen Mingwei.

Huaijin was our youngest brother.

He agreed to each in turn.

After we married, we continued living in the Jiang residence.

He helped me manage my dowry. Each day, Shen Mingwei and I checked the accounts. Now and then, I climbed the ladder to visit Madam Liu’s family.

Listening Rain Pavilion gradually grew quieter.

Huaiyu learned to light a fire and cook. He also learned to turn Father over in bed.

In her lucid moments, Lingrou sat beneath the covered walkway, touching the scars on her face. Whenever she saw me above the wall, she burst into curses.

Madam Liu could no longer speak. She could only glare at me with clouded eyes.

I waved to her every time.

She had once taught me that filial piety came first among all virtues.

I had never forgotten.

That was why I let her two beloved children and her husband remain by her side for the rest of her life.

A few years later, Huaijin began his studies.

The teacher Shen Mingwei hired praised his intelligence and good manners. When Father heard the news from Listening Rain Pavilion, he became so excited that he repeatedly struck the bed with his hand.

I thought he must be pleased for his youngest son too.

That evening after dinner, I climbed the wooden ladder as usual.

The setting sun shone into the cramped little courtyard.

Madam Liu sat by the door, combing Lingrou’s tangled hair.

Huaiyu carried a pot of scorched porridge.

Inside, Father made inarticulate noises.

Zhou Jinyan stood below the ladder and asked, “How are they getting on?”

I looked carefully for a while.

“Quite well.”

Madam Liu looked up and noticed me. The wooden comb fell from her hand with a clack.

I smiled at her, held the ladder, and slowly climbed down.

Shen Mingwei was waiting for me to have tea in the main courtyard. Huaijin came running to show me the characters he had just written.

Zhou Jinyan brushed the dust from the wall off my skirt.

I sat beneath the lamplight, took my brother’s writing, and earnestly praised every stroke.

Beside me, Zhou Jinyan worked his abacus, then suddenly reminded me, “Tomorrow is Madam Liu’s birthday.”

I told the kitchen to make an extra bowl of longevity noodles and had someone deliver it through the little door into Listening Rain Pavilion.

In the old days, Madam Liu had cooked noodles for my birthday herself, then set a bowl of nourishing soup beside them.

I still remembered all the kindness she had shown me. Naturally, I must repay it.

The next day, when I climbed the ladder, I saw the noodle bowl smashed in the middle of the courtyard.

Madam Liu trampled the broken noodles. Looking up at me, she screamed without making a sound.

I could not read her lips, so I asked her to speak more slowly.

She trembled with anger.

Inside, Huaiyu was urging her to cook.

I waved and climbed down.

Zhou Jinyan was already waiting below with his hand out.

Only when my foot was secure on the last rung did he ask, “Will you be watching anymore today?”

“I’ve finished.”

Huaijin’s recitation drifted from the main courtyard.

Shen Mingwei called us to dinner.

I took Zhou Jinyan’s hand, and we walked slowly along the corridor beneath the glowing lanterns.

After so many storms, everyone in this family had finally found the place that suited them best.

And I, at last, no longer needed to worry on everyone else’s behalf.