Chapter 5

My sister stood aside, twisting her handkerchief unconsciously, her head down. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“No. Come to the Xie residence with me now and explain. Your sister’s marriage cannot be ruined like this.”

“Mother!”

My sister suddenly looked up, eyes full of tears.

“I don’t like Xie Xun. I won’t marry him.”

Mother answered instinctively, without thinking.

“No. You must.”

When my sister froze, she softened her voice.

“His family is good. He’s handsome. You’ve grown up together. What’s wrong with him?”

“But I don’t like him.”

My sister burst into tears.

“I already love someone else.”

Mother’s face darkened completely. I stood watching quietly.

Then I asked, “Do you love my sister?”

“Of course.”

She didn’t understand the question.

“And do you love me?”

“Of course. You’re both my own flesh and blood.”

The answer came without hesitation.

My eyes reddened. I had thought she didn’t love me so much.

My sister had been frail as a child. After giving birth to me, Mother truly had no attention left for another child.

She sent me to my grandmother.

Grandmother loved me.

Of all her grandchildren, I was her favorite.

Only when I grew older did I learn that love also held her guilt toward Mother.

When young, Mother had loved someone she couldn’t have. Grandmother forced her to marry Father.

She resented Grandmother ever after.

Once married, she never willingly returned to Lingzhou to visit.

Grandmother regretted it deeply.

She said that, had she known the outcome, she would never have forced her.

Every night, she whispered that she wished she could return in a dream to the moment she arranged Mother’s betrothal and let her follow her heart.

Mother never knew.

Grandmother never had the chance to tell her.

I told Mother everything.

She looked as though she had been struck hard. Looking at my sister, she seemed to see her younger self.

Suddenly understanding, she clutched her chest and sobbed.

“I nearly made your sister repeat my own fate…”

In my previous life, after my sister faked her death, Mother had cried still harder and sunk into endless regret.

I only wanted to stop some things before they happened, before regret was all that remained.

9

Hearing of Xie Xun’s outrageous conduct, his mother hurried to our residence in person to apologize.

Mother was no longer as friendly as before. Whatever the lady said, she refused.

“Jinzhao already loves someone. She truly has no connection with your son.”

When my sister repeated it to me, she shone with joy.

I learned who had filled her dreams in both lives.

Unexpectedly, a young physician.

I was about to tease her when I looked up and saw Xie Xun staring at me from a distance.

I didn’t want another entanglement. After the last one, I had spent an entire night soothing Jiang Huaiyou.

My lower back still ached.

But Xie Xun’s attendant was quick. In a few strides, he reached me and dropped to his knees.

“Second Miss Song, please take pity on my lord. His mother punished him with twenty blows, but he still thinks of you. Despite his wounds and fever, he insists on speaking to you properly.”

“And this garland of immortal flowers—knowing he angered you, he traveled to the far north to find them, just to make amends.”

“For your old affection, please go see him.”

I glanced at Xie Xun.

His eyes were full of hope.

In the end, I didn’t approach.

I acted as though I hadn’t even seen those precious flowers.

The love once offered as if to the Flower Goddess had already drifted away with the garland he threw into the river.

In the carriage, my sister watched his stubborn figure and sighed helplessly.

“Why does he have to do this? You liked him so much, and he insisted on saying the opposite of what he felt. Now he regrets it.”

“I truly don’t understand.”

I rested my head on her shoulder.

I couldn’t resist teasing.

“You should worry about yourself.”

She gave a little exclamation and pinched the soft flesh at my waist.

“How bold! Daring to laugh at me.”