Can't You Take a Joke?

Chapter 4

Edward Quan ·

After the meeting, Lao Liu and Xiao Wang both came to ask if they could join me.

Lazy as they were, they knew who did the work and who lived off it.

I waved them away.

“Why not join Huanhuan? She’s fun. She can tell you jokes while you work.

“I’m dull. Can’t take a joke. Not really your sort of person.”

Their faces reddened.

Neither could find an answer.

Ms Sun and I formed a team.

She might sometimes need leave for her child, but when she worked, she was a hundred times more serious than those two men hiding in the corridor with their cigarettes.

We divided the tasks.

I developed the central concept. She refined the details.

In two days, we finished a proposal that would have taken the whole team a week.

Xiao Wang and Lao Liu joined Ye Huan.

On Friday evening, Ms Sun and I booked a small meeting room for final revisions.

The three of them were in the room next door.

25

With the deadline approaching, they were still tearing their hair out.

“Huanhuan, you’re full of ideas. Think of something!”

She glanced at Xiao Wang while filing her nails.

“Is that how you talk to your dad? Aren’t you supposed to finish the proposal and present it for my approval?”

“Enough with the dad-and-son act. Get on with it. Our bonuses are riding on this!”

“What? Can’t survive without a little bonus? Will your wife refuse to touch you if you don’t get one?

“Tell Dad. I’ll sort her out.”

Xiao Wang finally exploded.

He slammed the table.

“Ye Huan! Can you be serious for once? You’re still making smart remarks? Do you think you’re cute?”

The room froze.

Lao Liu tried to smooth things over.

“Come on, we’re all friends. Huanhuan’s right. It’s only a proposal. Why get so worked up?”

He sat beside her.

His eyes traveled over her.

“What are you wearing such a short skirt for?”

When she didn’t respond, he pushed further, reaching under it.

“Thinking about a man?”

“Lao Liu! What the hell are you doing?”

She jumped up and shoved him onto the floor.

“Hey, only joking. Why are you so angry?”

“You bastard! You’re groping me! I’ll report you for sexual harassment!”

He lost his temper too.

“What about all the filthy things you’ve said to me? Sitting on my lap when you’re drunk? Putting your hands everywhere? Why wasn’t that harassment?”

She pointed at him.

“I treated you like a friend! That’s why I joked with you. Why is your mind so dirty? I was wrong about you!

“Besides, women don’t sexually harass men. Men harass women!”

“Now you remember you’re a woman? What about all that Dad-and-son nonsense? All that talk about being one of the guys?”

The walls weren’t soundproof.

Ms Sun and I heard every word.

We laughed until our stomachs hurt, trying to keep quiet.

Finally, I couldn’t resist.

I opened the door and leaned against the frame.

“Didn’t you know, Lao Liu? In this company, only Mr Zhang gets to joke with her.”

He glared at Ye Huan and threw the documents onto the table.

“If she hadn’t been flirting with me all this time, do you think I’d have looked at her?

“Filth coming out of her mouth every day, and now she’s acting pure!

“What rotten luck!”

Red-faced, he slammed out.

Xiao Wang packed his laptop, glanced at Ye Huan and quietly left too.

The next week, Ms Sun and I handed in a polished proposal.

The team leader was delighted.

The other group submitted a blank page.

He looked at the three of them, then merely shook his head.

He took our proposal to management for approval.

When the contributor list came out, another name had appeared after mine.

Ye Huan.

I smiled faintly.

I wasn’t surprised.

It felt like stepping in dog mess.

Disgusting.

Ms Sun was puzzled too.

“How did that happen? Did the team leader put down the wrong name? Should we ask him?”

I shook my head.

Once the result was public, there had to be someone behind it whose influence we couldn’t see.

This wasn’t something our team leader could decide alone.

Getting that dead rat out of the pot probably revolted him even more than it did me.

But I knew she wouldn’t be happy for long.

I sighed loudly in the office.

“Well, some people do have a special relationship with Mr Zhang.”

The room paused.

People exchanged looks.

The spark was there.

Now I only had to wait for the office gossip to fan it into a blaze.

Sure enough, when I arrived the next morning, whispers filled the corridors.

Something had happened.

Inside the building stood the boss’s wife, nearly two hundred kilos of fury.

I tried to avoid her gaze.

She called me over anyway.

“You. Where’s the advertising department?”

Her voice rang like a bell.

I had lived this moment before.

The same place. The same question.

Last time, I had innocently said I worked in advertising.

She asked my name.

As soon as I answered, her hand struck so hard I lost all sense of direction.

Even now, seeing her made my cheek and neck ache.

I forced a smile.

“I work there.”

She looked me over.

“What’s your name?”

“Qiao Yiyi.”

Her gaze moved away.

“Take me to Ye Huan.”

I led her to the desk.

Ye Huan was looking in a mirror, touching up her lipstick.

The boss’s wife strode over.

“Ye Huan?”

She turned, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes?”

The slap cracked through the office.

Everyone froze.

Ye Huan collapsed onto her keyboard.

It took several seconds before she could lift her head. Blood ran from her nose.

“Who… who are you…”

The woman gave her no chance.

She caught her by the hair and hauled her back, slapping her again and again.

“You little bitch! Seducing my husband!

“Who do you think you’re dealing with?”

Still unsatisfied, she slammed Ye Huan’s head into the monitor.

It cracked.

All of it happened in less than a minute.

Nobody had time to react, let alone call security.

I had expected it, of course.

But I saw no reason to intervene.

By the time the guards arrived, Ye Huan had been badly beaten.

She was admitted to hospital.

Her injuries weren’t as severe as mine in the previous life.

At least she could still move her arms and legs.

Out of “kindness,” I suggested that we visit.

Looking at her face, covered in dressings, I laughed.

“Huanhuan, you look just like a mummy.”

My conscience still stopped me from saying anything worse.

She trembled with rage, breathing hard. She didn’t dare move much; it hurt her injuries.

The sight made me feel better still.

“Don’t be angry. I’m only joking with you.

“It must be boring lying here alone. I’m trying to cheer you up.”

Even Ms Sun joined in.

“How are you feeling, Ye Huan? Can you go to the toilet on your own yet?

“If it’s awkward, say so. I’ll buy you a bedpan. Wouldn’t want you unable to hold it and wetting the bed.”

Xiao Wang spoke.

“I heard Mr Zhang’s wife spent two days in detention, then he got her out on bail.

“He apologized in front of the whole company. Said you seduced him.

“Apparently you started off acting like one of the guys, then touched him somewhere you shouldn’t when he wasn’t expecting it. He said he couldn’t help himself.”

He went on.

“You really do love a joke, Huanhuan. Joking with us is one thing. Why take it to Mr Zhang?

“Everyone knows he’s terrified of his wife. Her father owns the company!

“You took this one too far.”

Lao Liu’s face was blank.

“You brought it on yourself.”

We left the hospital and returned to work.

In the lift, unfamiliar coworkers were chatting and laughing.

A woman burst out laughing and squeezed the backside of the man beside her.

“Little Jiang, that’s quite a backside you’ve got.”

Then she looked at his chest.

“And these muscles… almost…”

Her gaze shifted to another woman’s chest.

“Almost as big as Little Li’s thirty-eight Ds!”

A shock ran through me.

Another Ye Huan.

The woman being mocked flushed and drew into herself.

The man gave an awkward smile, clearly unsure how to respond.

“Come on, let Dad have a feel. Let’s see how yours compare.”

She reached for his chest.

I stepped forward and knocked her arm aside.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

She stared, then laughed.

“Who are you? I’m joking with my friends. What’s it to you?”

My voice was cold.

“Joke or not, doing that in public is disgusting. The rest of us have to watch.”

She began to argue.

I didn’t give her the chance.

“Some people use jokes as an excuse to ignore every boundary.

“When someone objects, suddenly they’re unfriendly. They have no sense of humor.

“That isn’t a talent or a personality.

“It’s shamelessness in disguise.

“Bullying with a smile.”

The woman she had mocked looked at me, her eyes brightening with understanding.

When the doors opened, they went out first.

I heard the woman whose hand I’d struck call me crazy.

Then she linked arms with another woman.

That woman shrank back, her body stiff.

The lift doors closed.

I never saw them again.

I didn’t know what would happen to her.

But that was no longer my affair.

Another Ye Huan.

Let another Qiao Yiyi deal with her.

The End.

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